Tuesday, September 11, 2007

old songs

haay.. its a lazy tuesday afternoon and I just finished cleaning my desk (above it and underneath it) as in mega-general clean up! oha, ako ba to? hehe.. I felt this sudden urge to clean my surroundings so that I can function well. sabi kasi dun sa personality test that we took last night in our unit hold - Let's get organized, sanguines! so, here's the first step to getting organized.

Anyway, while cleaning my desk, I've uncovered some old cd's which I haven't paid any attention to for the longest time. One is a cd from Joms containing old yfc songs. It just felt great to listen to these songs and reminisce my yfc experiences. One song is my all time favorite - Strong Arm 'coz there was a funny and humbling experience associated with it. :-)

Strong Arm

My child I knew you
Before the world began
I was there every time you wrote your name in the sand
And lately I know you've been through quite a storm
My child, I've been there since the day you were born

Oh, and I rule the wind
And yes I calm the sea
And the sun won't go down until I say it can leave
And as sure as my word I 'll stand here right by your side
And if you're just too weak to go on
Remember child, that I'm your strong arm

Now people will wonder and they'll stand amazed
They'll say you are a miracle and I will be praised
And even though your pain has been so hard to bear
Just know that I'm with you there's no need to despair

Lean on me, I'm your strong arm
I will never leave you

I do miss those yfc days - when we were young and carefree and our main concern was to make it through the sem. But, come to think of it, that wasn't my main concern after all. I was very busy with extra-curricular activities especially yfc events. That was the highlight of my college life.

Its just sad to think of the various issues confronting the CFC community right now. In reply to a friend's email, I was able to gather my thoughts and came up with this..


beyond the issue, here's what i think - that rift was inevitable. for an organization composed of unique individuals with different principles and different levels of maturity, who have grown into very large proportions, it would be hard to unite all of these people under one banner because they are bound to promote their own principles. conflict starts when the individual member perceives that his principles are no longer compatible with the organization's beliefs. one way to resolve this would be to reconcile these differences and reach an agreement. but if the number of members who must be feeling this way reach a significant level, it would be very hard to reconcile - thus the natural thing to do would be to break away from the organization and form another group which would espouse their principles.

so i say, nobody is at fault here. they are just doing what they believe is the right thing - and that is fighting for their principles. that's the way human organizations work.

i do agree with you friend, "it doesn't matter in which organization i am in. the organization is there as a vessel to do the mission that was given to me." di ba yan ang lagi nating sinasabi nung nasa yfc pa tayo - do not find yourselves in yfc, find yourself in God. aptly put, do not find yourself in cfc, find yourself in God.

as for me, i'll be forever grateful for my yfc experience. i learned a lot of things and met a lot of good people whom i consider as my true friends (brothers and sisters in Christ) - kayo yun :-) and i'll treasure those memories.

the CFC community was instrumental in my renewal of commitment to Christ but i think i've outgrown that stage. i'm moving on in my journey towards living a more fruitful life for God with and without the help of any organization. this is my personal journey but i do appreciate the aid of people i meet along the way who have touched my life in various ways. at the end of it all, i think God would not ask me how many organizations i've joined but how much I've loved.

Thursday, September 6, 2007


This morning, I resolved to wake up early and jog at the Circle. Obviously, for vanity reasons, I felt like I was gaining weight and I don't like it. hehe.. Actually, the Circle is a good place to jog. I just don't like crossing from NHA towards the crossing. I felt like all those wheezing cars would bump me and leave me for dead. I swear, that'll be the death of me(God forbid!) its been a long time since I've been there, I noted several stores that I'd like to visit when I have the time - the Butterfly garden, Herbal garden and the skating rink.

Anyway, on my way home, I was tempted to buy taho. Its been quite some time since I've eaten taho and I was greatly disappointed. It didn't taste too good. So, when I saw a scruffy old man, sitting by the sidewalk, I decided to do my good deed right then and there. (The motive wasn't really that noble 'coz I wanted to dispose the taho and it was the perfect excuse.. ) And I thought he looked kinda hungry too so I'm sure he'd appreciate my taho.

But when I offered my taho to him, here's what he said to me, in straight english. "My Child, I am so grateful that you're sharing your food with me. But I can't take it coz I have arthritis. Thank you, thank you."

That's it? No punchline? It blew my mind away. It was the ultimate humbling experience. As I was looking into his clear eyes, trying to gauge the sincerity of his statement, I still had doubts in my mind. I was thinking that he'd end his statement with, "But you can give me some money instead." I swear, I'll walk out on him. But after he finished speaking those sincere words, I was speechless. I just managed to smile and walk on with all these thoughts racing through my mind.

I'm so ashamed of myself. I realized that my view of the world is so jaded. I'm paranoid that everybody is out to outwit anybody. It feels great to know that there are still kind hearted people out there who also see the goodness in everybody. I'd like to take that attitude to heart and live it. Gratefulness is also one trait which many of us have forgotten. All I hear are complaints - its too hot (be thankful there's no storm), i have so many things to do at the office (be thankful you have a job), the food does not taste good (be thankful you have something to eat).. the list is endless for things that we can be thankful about.

Be grateful - make it a habit!


Also, Paulo Coelho's book entitled Veronika Decides to Die came to mind. What if he's one of those people? Someone who doesn't want to live within the bounds of societal norms. Society calls them crazy - they call it, freedom. And yes, I remember, I once wanted to have that kind of freedom but was too afraid to risk.
Maybe I'll talk more about this in my future posts.

Personal Resolution

16 August 2007

After several years of hee-hawing on my decision, I finally resolved to pursue the study of law for the following reasons:

* I want to learn the intricacies of law - I want to understand the technical aspects of law and its contribution in promoting a harmonious environment.

* I want to be able to affect other people's lives and have a direct impact and contribution in helping them.

* My personal advocacy would be juvenile delinquency and sexual abuse. I want to assure them that they are not alone in this fight and that they still have a hope for a brighter future despite the things that happened to them.

* I want to be able to help my local government. If the local officials are willing, I can help them devise plans to improve the locality.

* I do think that these reasons would motivate me to wake up in the morning and help me fulfill my mission in this life.

* Moreover, a solid grounding in the study of law would help me form my own opinion regarding pertinent issues in the society.

All of these things, I lift up to God and implore His Divine guidance and blessings for my future decisions.

Plan of Action
1. start reviewing for LAE
2. enroll in a review program
3. ask Rude is she'd like to take the entrance exam
4. keep it mum :)
5. pray and pray for guidance
6. talk to ate sansu and atty viva regarding plans

30 March 2009
On Retrospect: I made it to law school. And now, I'm struggling to survive this madness :)

On death and living

21 July 2007

With the recent deaths of Dr. Fredegusto David and Bro. Gene Sanchez, I realized how fleeting life is. There's no sense pursuing mundane things. The mission of every human being is to touch and directly impact other people's lives. In the lives of these two gentlemen, God has truly guided them. They led quiet lives but they impacted a lot of people by the way they lived their lives. They have shown us how to live a life of passion for what they deemed as important. May God help us to be more like them - in patience, perseverance and quiet contentment.

Understanding of God

15 July 2007

What if Mary and God are one Supreme Being?
He/she/it has no gender. Its just a manifestation of the human gender but its one and the same. We attribute or attempt to understand the Supreme Being's personification in the way we understand it as humans.

The human's spiritual experience of the manifestation of the Supreme Being is relative to the Spirit's need to gain a deeper understanding of the entirety of the Supreme Being.

Its like language - we have different languages, different ways of expressing ourselves and understanding things. But there's a universal truth -we all believe in the Supreme Being. That our world originated from something or someone more powerful than we are - all knowing, omniscient, omnipotent. Since our senses are limited, we can only grasp a certain facet of this Being's entirety and we use this as our guiding principle / living motto in how we live our lives, how we attempt to understand how this Being work and how we give back our praises to the Supreme Being in gratitude. The Being's gender is not a hindrance to our understanding of the Being's entirety. So, Our Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit and the Blessed Mother could all be personifications of the human being's understanding of the Supreme Being given one's human capacity. Although a semblance of form and structure is also essential so that the believers will have a common understanding of the Supreme Being - much like Wittgenstein's language game.

Like the language, it originated from the human being's desire to communicate with another individual. First, it may have started with only two beings understanding each other using a particular form or semblance of language and then when they became many and many people understand each other using this form - it became established as a formal language.

To each according to his needs. So we attach a certain attribute to the Supreme Being based on our needs. For example, the birds may have or believe in a Supreme Being of worms because they would need someone to guide them / lead them to an abundance of worms. In Jesus' teaching, even the birds of the air are important to him, much more is the human being whom the Supreme Being created in one's own image and likeness.

Maybe that's the reason why we call upon the saints who have spent their lives contemplating on the entirety of the Supreme Being - so that we can follow their steps and grasp what they have grasped and gain an understanding of the Supreme Being.

Religion places a semblance of structure in the human being's understanding of a particular facet or attribute of the Supreme Being.

So, what is the implication of this in our daily Christian living?

Tuesday, July 10, 2007


I was invited to a retreat last weekend. I didn't really know what the retreat was all about but I thought I really needed a break so I decided to join anyway. Apparently, the retreat, which was sponsored by Notre Dame de Vie, was all about prayer symbolically represented by quenching one's thirst by meeting Jesus at the well.

It was a new experience for me since the community espouses the importance of silence within the halls of the retreat house. They believe that one can be in communion with the Spirit through silence. For someone who really loves to talk, it was awkward at first. But after a while, silence becomes your company - in everything that you do, like eating, washing the dishes, walking, etc.

There was one session facilitated by Fr. Em (short for Emmanuel) which was all about prayer. Initially, i thought i already knew everything there is to know about prayer. I mean, at a very young age I was already taught how to pray. By sharing the story about Jesus and the Samaritan woman, Fr. Em presented a new aspect about prayer, which gave me food for thought throughout the retreat. Here are a few points that he raised:

- In order to pray, one must have the will to pray. One must learn how to pray.
- According to St. Therese of Avila, prayer is nothing else than the close sharing between friends. This means taking time frequently to be alone with him whom we know loves us.
- Each encounter with Jesus is a prayer.
- Notice that Jesus met the Samaritan woman at a well in the outskirts of the town. This could mean that if you want to have a special encounter with Jesus, you need to get out of the noise.
- It is also possible to meet Jesus daily, even in ordinary places.
- There was also a verse about Jesus becoming very tired from the journey - he can empathize with our weaknesses.
- One doesn't have to wait until you feel worthy in order to pray. Even sinners can meet Jesus in prayer.
- In the dialogue between Jesus and the women, both friends are thirsty when they came to the well. Jesus starts the dialogue in prayer. And he is waiting for you at the well.
- Its a comforting thought that God desires us and prayer is an encounter of God's thirst for us.
- When he asked the woman to give him a drink, it was the love of the woman that he was seeking. Jesus is thirsty for our love.
- Love is giving and receiving. We just have to allow God to love us. God is waiting for someone who will accept his love.
- For us to accept his love, we have to enter into the covenant and open up our hearts to him. Although, God respects your will to accept or reject his love.
- St. John of the Cross declares that: "It should be known that if a person is seeking God, his beloved is seeking him more."
- The Holy Spirit is the living water.
- There are several wellsprings of faith such as the Word of God and liturgical prayer within us. Faith is something that belongs to us. It can also be a talent that one can exercise through actions. Do your little acts of faith and at the end of the dialogue, Jesus reveals himself.
- We cannot measure God's presence according to our own feelings.
- True adoration is the movement of body and soul. ad- to want and oration-oral. It is an act of bringing or giving oneself to God and to come to him in a free and personal way.
- If you want to discern your vocation, start doing / fulfilling your eternal vocation and your practical vocation will be revealed.

Let me end this with three statements. I came... I saw... I left..
I came... not knowing what to expect from the retreat.
I saw... a different aspect of prayer and a contemplative attitude towards it. I realized that a lot of people are also thirsting for more of Him, including me. And our thirst can only be quenched in prayer.
I left... with a lighter bounce to my step knowing that my God is just waiting for me to come to him in prayer.

Thursday, June 28, 2007


undated journal entry

I was feeling kinda low at that time and I just thought of jotting down something in my journal. My hands couldn't stop writing and I can barely read my handwriting. My persistent question at that time was, What do you want to say Lord?

Repent and I will forgive your sins. Come back to me and I will bless you and your family. Keep strong. Plans. Do not be afraid of the Spirit. Let Him guide you and inspire you as you continue living your life for me. Keep him in your heart always. I feel hurt when you deny me, when you don't stand up for me. Be confident in my love for you. Do not think about what other people think. What matters most is my opinion of you. I sent my Son to go against that - to prove that one can be capable of laying His life for the people for the sake of love. Claim my promises - that I will use you as my instrument, that I will prosper your plans. Repent now. I have shown you many signs. I have spoken to you many times. I introduced myself to you. I'm teaching you of a new and radical way to live your earthly life. All of these material things will come to pass but my love will last forever. So be wise in your decisions. I have called you to my Kingdom time and time again. Invite me into your life. Allow me to bless you. Hold on to my words and my promises. Do not doubt me. I alone can change your life. Obey me. Keep my words in your heart. Tell other people about me - do not be afraid to speak out. Don't be afraid of ridicules. Remember that you're doing it for your Lord. I want you to be with me in my kingdom forever. Keep the strength. Open your senses - I'm performing small miracles everyday to remind you of the heavenly kingdom, when you will rest with me forever. Don't be stuck in this world. I love you son. I love you my daughter. Don't waste this one time chance that I gave you. Don't be lazy. Make haste for your time is drawing near. Call to the Holy Spirit for help. I am sending him to you. Do not lack faith. Believe. Believe always. Say this to yourself many times. Believe in me. Believe in all the things that happened in the past, of what's happening at present and what will happen in the future. I

Thursday, June 14, 2007


I haven't written anything in a while. Yes, there were times when I really wanted to write something but I just didn't have the right words to describe my experiences. But, right now, I just feel so happy.. inspired even.. :-) hehe.. sheez, I just can't seem to wipe this smile off my face. Owel, i don't wanna dwell too much on the reason behind this sudden inspiration. Maybe I'll discuss it in my future posts. ;-)

Anyway, today is MDS's 62nd birthday. And for the second time, she spent it in PGH, in time for the inauguration of the medical wards that she donated to the said hospital through her PDAF. According to her, instead of allocating the funds to public works projects where the DPWH gets a huge chunk of the budget, she'd rather give it to the PGH for additional medical equipments - in turn, she would be able to help the 600,000 patients who avail of the hospital's services annually. Its not everyday that you get to see a politician like that. Although she has her moods, I really admire her courage and determination to change a lot of things in this country. It might seem like she failed, considering the current state of our nation, but one should never discount the impact of her deeds on the people's psyche. Maybe that's one of the reason why I've stayed with her all these years (3 years on the job come July). And I really love it when she ends her speech with these lines from William Henley's Invictus:

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007


I feel like I'm floating in a limbo. I don't know where I'm going but I know I have a lot of things to do - I just can't find the motivation to move and perform. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed with a lot of things - family concerns, work (and the lack of motivation to work), community service, business sideline. I feel like well, floating.......

Sunday, April 15, 2007

busy weekend

I really can't get enough of the weekend. I got so many things to do, people to meet, books to read and opportunities to grab. For starters, last Friday, I attended a grad party hosted by my high school batchmate at a bar in Malate. After 7 years in college, she finally graduated with a degree in Dentistry and I'm very happy for her. Its been a long time since I mingled with this kind of crowd and I felt out of place. I'm not much of a drinker so I gotta limit my drinks to 1 or 2 bottles of beer. But it was great to see another high school batchmate who was "hiding" from us all this time. I really love it when i meet old friends and chat with them again.

The night after, Saturday night, we arranged a mini-reunion for our high school batchmates. The mini-reunion was composed of 6 batchmates and 1 girlfriend. Owel, at least we enjoyed each other's stories and we lasted till the wee hours of the morning. Too bad for me coz I had to get up early for the Sunday Feast. After which, I had to meet my upline in the network business that I joined. And I had to stay up late coz I had to wait for my bro and sis. Whew, full house.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Network Twenty One

I finally made the big move. I joined Network Twenty One, which is the marketing arm of Amway Corp. Its actually a networking company. Oopps, I can see you raising your eyebrows. Yeah, yeah, you might think its bogus or an impending scam. But I've thought about this long and hard. Honestly, I'm not in it for the money but for the education that I can get from their business seminars. The type of education that I can use for my own business in the future. Actually, I've been skeptical about joining networking businesses since I joined one last 2004. It seems like easy money that's why many people are attracted to it. However, Network Twenty One offers a comprehensive educational program which teaches you the basics about sales, marketing, personal development and the like. And that's what I'd like to learn. I don't know much about it yet but I'm very much willing to learn and see how effective their programs are. So, I guess you'll be reading about my experiences in this business for the coming days.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Thinking Rich

My life has just been revitalized by a book. I just finished reading Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad, Poor Dad and it really changed my perspective on things especially about money. It shattered a lot of misconceptions and made me think about this rat race that I've been living for the past 3 years. My ultimate goal would be to get out of this rat race and make my money work for me.

In order to get started, I developed several short term goals like:
1. join a networking company so that I would be exposed to the world of sales and learn how to establish a network of people which would be my biggest asset
2. apply for a part time job as a real estate agent in order to learn the trade of investing in real estate properties
3. keep my daytime job so that I'll still have a steady income while I'm building my business networks; i'll probably resign early next year

I know I still have a long way to go but I'm very positive about all these plans.