The Unrequited

You can never impose yourself on other people. They say that falling in love is a decision. But you can't make that decision for the other person. You might have this illusion that the other person also reciprocates your feelings but its just that - an illusion. Do not fool yourself into thinking that he/she might just wake up one morning and have romantic feelings for you. Wake up from that delusion! If you can stop it now, then stop it. If you pursue that road, it will only lead to unnecessary heartaches and you'll both end up hurting each others' feelings.

Convention of Those Wounded In Love

I got this from Paulo Coelho's blog. It made me laugh because its so true. I wonder how many ratifications this convention got.

At least now I can say, I have lived!

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination : Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

180 degree turn around

via wears heart on sleeve

and for once in your life, you need to walk away and suffer the loneliness.. because you believe that one day in the far and distant future, you’ll be happy. and not so cracked and broken anymore. and you won’t cry anymore. and when you smile, it won’t be a façade- it will be real. and that empty heart-shaped black hole in your chest will slowly fade back to a healthy pink color. and you’ll know that all the pain, all the sadness, everything you feel when you’re crying yourself to sleep.. it’s gone. and you’re stronger for it.

but until then, it’s going to hurt.. and you’re going to cry. and it’s going to continue to be the worst times of your life. and you’re going to wonder how long it’s going to take. and you will fake that smile until your face hurts. and you will drink until you forget. and then you will remember in the morning. and every day, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. and every night, you will wonder where he is, and what he is doing, and if he’s thinking about you too. and you will cry, you will cry, you will cry until you think you’re out of tears. but they will continue to fall...

superhuman [not]

The bittersweet feeling of first love and the lessons that came with it.

I realized that I'm not invincible after all, I'm still human and very much capable of loving. :) I thought I've become so indifferent to these feelings till it came to a point when I really thought I can ever have any romantic feelings for another person. Well, this experience proves otherwise. I can be happy, giddy and stupid for love. I can throw caution to the wind and live for the moment. But thankfully, I still have a good head on my shoulders and I was still able to think clearly. Although there were moments of indecision but thank God, the pragmatist in me prevailed.

Love has the effect of sometimes clouding my judgment and perception. I realize now that I must have fallen for an ideal image of him which I kept in my head and heart for the longest time, just waiting for an affirmation. And when he made just a tiny little gesture of affection, that image was affirmed. I realize now that I must not let this heady feeling cloud my judgment. I have to see things for what they are, and not for what I imagined them to be.

There are two sides to loving - being happy with the one you love and being hurt by that same person. One doesn't exist without the other. When you love, you open yourself to hurts and disappointments. That's the risk that you have to take. I took that risk and I came out of it alive. Yes, it was painful but I understood the situation. It was well worth the risk.

Never let go of your ideals. This is what kept me grounded and made me realize a few things. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Recognize the feelings, acknowledge them and feel them. Then, if its time to let go, move on. Know that you have a better life ahead of you.

A text message from a good friend sums it all:
The best part of being in love is when you just love a person and be happy about it, even if that person can never be yours, even if you know that it can't last forever. Its not about winning someone. Its not about owning a relationship. Its just about being happy because you just loved and loved unselfishly. :)

now, its time to move on...

No U-turns

"I felt like that moment would change me,
that nothing would ever be the same again.
And it wasnt.
Now that I have gone there I cant ever
go back and pretend I hadnt.
I know the way now.
I cant pretend that I dont.
If I knew it would turn out like this I
dont think I would have done it.
They say it wasnt true love if you dont
think the pain of the end was worth it.
I loved you with all my heart and soul but
all of this has ruined what we had.
The darkness has bled into the light
and the past is now a little murky.
I am moving on."

via So She Tells You

The regret you will feel

Another repost from So She Tells You

"I never thought you'd let me walk away that easily.
Without any real attempt to work things out.
There was no screaming, no fighting and no
real emotion on your part.
I think I imagined those tears in your eyes.
They didnt glisten like the ones that fell from mine.
I thought you would see how wrong you were.
I thought that you would miss me - my laugh, my
imagination and my love.
How could you not miss me?
I took the best parts of you and I washed away the
worst. I pretended you were this perfect specimen,
someone who had no faults and did no wrong.
Maybe I imagined the whole thing.
I never wanted to be the tragic person who has
been broken by a lover.
But when I let you in I opened myself up to hurt.
And I'm not ashamed to have loved you that much.
How naive and sweet I used to be.
If you ever pass by this way to see how I am
doing. If you stop by to read my thoughts and words,
know that life is full of moments and you had me,
for a moment. But then you let me go.
And that regret is yours to carry."

I write what I feel

Got this poem from So She Tells You


Have you ever had the feeling that you want to hear or read something which would affirm your emotions? This poem is it.

I just had to post it here. My exact sentiments ;(

I keep writing. I don't know why really.
Maybe because this has all been new for me.
I wanted to note the pain. The rawness of that emotion.
The emptiness inside that I never thought would be filled.
This has been a journey for me.
And as I come to the end of this road another will open.
That's just the way this thing works.
I want you to know that I am healing.
The scars arent as visible now.
I stopped counting the days [weeks] since you left [we parted ways].
I stopped wanting you to come back.
Inner strength is a virtue.
Friendship can get you through the darkest night.
As I begin this new adventure I hold my head high,
and a smile is resting on my lips.

And I hopefully say, "The best is yet to come."

distracted

These feelings are so new to me and I don't know how to handle it. Its invading my consciousness and distracting me. So many questions, I need an answer.


Haay, kay hirap pala.

I AM worth a lot

In a brief conversation, a man, speaking to a woman, was out to pursue the question, "What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asked, "Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said, "Yes" as she began to expound...


"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.

I pay my own bills.

I take care of my household without the help of any man- or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'"


The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money... I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said,


"I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection Mentally. I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection Spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... Believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for perfection Financially because I don't need a financial... burden.

I am looking for someone who is Sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but Strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can Respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... He just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a helpmate for man. At this point, I can't help a man if he can't help himself."


When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face, and exclaimed, "You're asking for a whole lot!"

To which she gracefully replied...


"Only if you think I'm not WORTH a lot." :)

***

When the pressure to be with someone is building up on us

When we think of lowering our standards just to entertain the first guy who asks us out

Sisters, we need to be reminded of this message - WE are worth a lot.

We should never settle for anything less...