Tuesday, September 11, 2007

old songs

haay.. its a lazy tuesday afternoon and I just finished cleaning my desk (above it and underneath it) as in mega-general clean up! oha, ako ba to? hehe.. I felt this sudden urge to clean my surroundings so that I can function well. sabi kasi dun sa personality test that we took last night in our unit hold - Let's get organized, sanguines! so, here's the first step to getting organized.

Anyway, while cleaning my desk, I've uncovered some old cd's which I haven't paid any attention to for the longest time. One is a cd from Joms containing old yfc songs. It just felt great to listen to these songs and reminisce my yfc experiences. One song is my all time favorite - Strong Arm 'coz there was a funny and humbling experience associated with it. :-)

Strong Arm

My child I knew you
Before the world began
I was there every time you wrote your name in the sand
And lately I know you've been through quite a storm
My child, I've been there since the day you were born

Oh, and I rule the wind
And yes I calm the sea
And the sun won't go down until I say it can leave
And as sure as my word I 'll stand here right by your side
And if you're just too weak to go on
Remember child, that I'm your strong arm

Now people will wonder and they'll stand amazed
They'll say you are a miracle and I will be praised
And even though your pain has been so hard to bear
Just know that I'm with you there's no need to despair

Lean on me, I'm your strong arm
I will never leave you

I do miss those yfc days - when we were young and carefree and our main concern was to make it through the sem. But, come to think of it, that wasn't my main concern after all. I was very busy with extra-curricular activities especially yfc events. That was the highlight of my college life.

Its just sad to think of the various issues confronting the CFC community right now. In reply to a friend's email, I was able to gather my thoughts and came up with this..


beyond the issue, here's what i think - that rift was inevitable. for an organization composed of unique individuals with different principles and different levels of maturity, who have grown into very large proportions, it would be hard to unite all of these people under one banner because they are bound to promote their own principles. conflict starts when the individual member perceives that his principles are no longer compatible with the organization's beliefs. one way to resolve this would be to reconcile these differences and reach an agreement. but if the number of members who must be feeling this way reach a significant level, it would be very hard to reconcile - thus the natural thing to do would be to break away from the organization and form another group which would espouse their principles.

so i say, nobody is at fault here. they are just doing what they believe is the right thing - and that is fighting for their principles. that's the way human organizations work.

i do agree with you friend, "it doesn't matter in which organization i am in. the organization is there as a vessel to do the mission that was given to me." di ba yan ang lagi nating sinasabi nung nasa yfc pa tayo - do not find yourselves in yfc, find yourself in God. aptly put, do not find yourself in cfc, find yourself in God.

as for me, i'll be forever grateful for my yfc experience. i learned a lot of things and met a lot of good people whom i consider as my true friends (brothers and sisters in Christ) - kayo yun :-) and i'll treasure those memories.

the CFC community was instrumental in my renewal of commitment to Christ but i think i've outgrown that stage. i'm moving on in my journey towards living a more fruitful life for God with and without the help of any organization. this is my personal journey but i do appreciate the aid of people i meet along the way who have touched my life in various ways. at the end of it all, i think God would not ask me how many organizations i've joined but how much I've loved.

Thursday, September 6, 2007


This morning, I resolved to wake up early and jog at the Circle. Obviously, for vanity reasons, I felt like I was gaining weight and I don't like it. hehe.. Actually, the Circle is a good place to jog. I just don't like crossing from NHA towards the crossing. I felt like all those wheezing cars would bump me and leave me for dead. I swear, that'll be the death of me(God forbid!) its been a long time since I've been there, I noted several stores that I'd like to visit when I have the time - the Butterfly garden, Herbal garden and the skating rink.

Anyway, on my way home, I was tempted to buy taho. Its been quite some time since I've eaten taho and I was greatly disappointed. It didn't taste too good. So, when I saw a scruffy old man, sitting by the sidewalk, I decided to do my good deed right then and there. (The motive wasn't really that noble 'coz I wanted to dispose the taho and it was the perfect excuse.. ) And I thought he looked kinda hungry too so I'm sure he'd appreciate my taho.

But when I offered my taho to him, here's what he said to me, in straight english. "My Child, I am so grateful that you're sharing your food with me. But I can't take it coz I have arthritis. Thank you, thank you."

That's it? No punchline? It blew my mind away. It was the ultimate humbling experience. As I was looking into his clear eyes, trying to gauge the sincerity of his statement, I still had doubts in my mind. I was thinking that he'd end his statement with, "But you can give me some money instead." I swear, I'll walk out on him. But after he finished speaking those sincere words, I was speechless. I just managed to smile and walk on with all these thoughts racing through my mind.

I'm so ashamed of myself. I realized that my view of the world is so jaded. I'm paranoid that everybody is out to outwit anybody. It feels great to know that there are still kind hearted people out there who also see the goodness in everybody. I'd like to take that attitude to heart and live it. Gratefulness is also one trait which many of us have forgotten. All I hear are complaints - its too hot (be thankful there's no storm), i have so many things to do at the office (be thankful you have a job), the food does not taste good (be thankful you have something to eat).. the list is endless for things that we can be thankful about.

Be grateful - make it a habit!


Also, Paulo Coelho's book entitled Veronika Decides to Die came to mind. What if he's one of those people? Someone who doesn't want to live within the bounds of societal norms. Society calls them crazy - they call it, freedom. And yes, I remember, I once wanted to have that kind of freedom but was too afraid to risk.
Maybe I'll talk more about this in my future posts.

Personal Resolution

16 August 2007

After several years of hee-hawing on my decision, I finally resolved to pursue the study of law for the following reasons:

* I want to learn the intricacies of law - I want to understand the technical aspects of law and its contribution in promoting a harmonious environment.

* I want to be able to affect other people's lives and have a direct impact and contribution in helping them.

* My personal advocacy would be juvenile delinquency and sexual abuse. I want to assure them that they are not alone in this fight and that they still have a hope for a brighter future despite the things that happened to them.

* I want to be able to help my local government. If the local officials are willing, I can help them devise plans to improve the locality.

* I do think that these reasons would motivate me to wake up in the morning and help me fulfill my mission in this life.

* Moreover, a solid grounding in the study of law would help me form my own opinion regarding pertinent issues in the society.

All of these things, I lift up to God and implore His Divine guidance and blessings for my future decisions.

Plan of Action
1. start reviewing for LAE
2. enroll in a review program
3. ask Rude is she'd like to take the entrance exam
4. keep it mum :)
5. pray and pray for guidance
6. talk to ate sansu and atty viva regarding plans

30 March 2009
On Retrospect: I made it to law school. And now, I'm struggling to survive this madness :)

On death and living

21 July 2007

With the recent deaths of Dr. Fredegusto David and Bro. Gene Sanchez, I realized how fleeting life is. There's no sense pursuing mundane things. The mission of every human being is to touch and directly impact other people's lives. In the lives of these two gentlemen, God has truly guided them. They led quiet lives but they impacted a lot of people by the way they lived their lives. They have shown us how to live a life of passion for what they deemed as important. May God help us to be more like them - in patience, perseverance and quiet contentment.

Understanding of God

15 July 2007

What if Mary and God are one Supreme Being?
He/she/it has no gender. Its just a manifestation of the human gender but its one and the same. We attribute or attempt to understand the Supreme Being's personification in the way we understand it as humans.

The human's spiritual experience of the manifestation of the Supreme Being is relative to the Spirit's need to gain a deeper understanding of the entirety of the Supreme Being.

Its like language - we have different languages, different ways of expressing ourselves and understanding things. But there's a universal truth -we all believe in the Supreme Being. That our world originated from something or someone more powerful than we are - all knowing, omniscient, omnipotent. Since our senses are limited, we can only grasp a certain facet of this Being's entirety and we use this as our guiding principle / living motto in how we live our lives, how we attempt to understand how this Being work and how we give back our praises to the Supreme Being in gratitude. The Being's gender is not a hindrance to our understanding of the Being's entirety. So, Our Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit and the Blessed Mother could all be personifications of the human being's understanding of the Supreme Being given one's human capacity. Although a semblance of form and structure is also essential so that the believers will have a common understanding of the Supreme Being - much like Wittgenstein's language game.

Like the language, it originated from the human being's desire to communicate with another individual. First, it may have started with only two beings understanding each other using a particular form or semblance of language and then when they became many and many people understand each other using this form - it became established as a formal language.

To each according to his needs. So we attach a certain attribute to the Supreme Being based on our needs. For example, the birds may have or believe in a Supreme Being of worms because they would need someone to guide them / lead them to an abundance of worms. In Jesus' teaching, even the birds of the air are important to him, much more is the human being whom the Supreme Being created in one's own image and likeness.

Maybe that's the reason why we call upon the saints who have spent their lives contemplating on the entirety of the Supreme Being - so that we can follow their steps and grasp what they have grasped and gain an understanding of the Supreme Being.

Religion places a semblance of structure in the human being's understanding of a particular facet or attribute of the Supreme Being.

So, what is the implication of this in our daily Christian living?