recuperating

I'm so sorry for the uber-delayed post. I just got home from the hospital yesterday. As much as I wanted to blog about my confinement experience while cooped up in my hospital bed, I couldn't summon enough strength to type a few words. I swear, those painkillers and antibiotics are draining the life out of me. But now, I know better. Its just a certain painkiller which causes the knockouts and I'm not taking any tablet if I can tolerate the pain.

Now, for a blow by blow account.

Last week, I consulted the doc about some skin problem that has been bothering me for the past few months and she recommended a minor surgery. Actually, it was my friend Star, who diagnosed the ailment and suggested the remedy which I abhorred. Since this ailment has become bothersome, I arranged to have the surgery last Tuesday so that I'll have enough time to recuperate. I had to say goodbye to my snorkelling plans somewhere in Batangas.

Tuesday morning came and I dragged myself to St. Luke's. Nobody was able to accompany me but all the nurses were asking if I had somebody with me. I'd like to say that I'm an independent woman and I don't need anybody. But this retort is uncalled for so I just assured me that my siblings and some officemates would be with me later in the afternoon.

It was my first time to be admitted in a hospital and it was kinda spooky. They hooked me up to an IV at around 2pm. I was just lying in that hospital bed like a pig waiting to be slaughtered. Then, I was rolled into the OR around 6:30, they injected me with the anesthesia and then there was darkness. I woke up around 10pm then they rolled me into my room.

After the operation, I felt like a bulldozer just ran through me and I was too groggy from the anesthesia and the medicines. I wouldn't want to go through that experience again. I was supposed to move out by Wednesday but they told me to wait for my doctor. She came by around 7pm and spent less than a minute with me. So much for doctor's courtesy. At least she gave me a clean bill of health, so by Thursday morning I was out of the hospital. I didn't want to stay there for another minute because the hospital atmosphere was draining the life out of me.

Even if the experience was not very pleasant, it gave me time to think and be thankful for the blessings that God gave me. It made me realize that I'm blessed with caring and thoughtful siblings who were willing to stick by me during my weakest moments when I can barely fend for myself. They didn't go all yucky on me when I was groping for a plastic bag so that I can vomit. They didn't mind sleeping in the sofa just to keep watch over me. I really felt loved and cared for, especially with the constant texts and calls from my parents who were deeply concerned. Nothing can really surpass the unconditional love of a family.

One thing's for sure, I'm never ever admitting myself again in a hospital for a very loooooonnnnnnnngggggg time.., :)

Taonglangit in Tinuy-an Falls

Are you wondering why this Little Niagara Falls made it to the top of my list?

Siyempre, this is the pride of Bislig City, my very own hometown. Personal bias aside, I do think this is the most majestic falls I've ever seen and its definitely worth visiting.



For those of you who did not know that Bislig even existed, it is located at the southeastern coast of Mindanao facing the Pacific Ocean, Bislig is 158 kms south of Butuan, 152 kms south of Tandag City, and 208 kilometers northeast of Davao City.

Tinuy-an Falls is a spectacular multi-tiered falls, three levels of which can easily be seen while a fourth one is hidden from view. It rises majestically to a height of a four-story building and a breathtaking width of 95 meters - said to be the widest in the country. It is nestled in a tropical rainforest with towering, century-old trees and exotic flora and fauna surrounding it. Why do i know all these? Because my brother is doing his landscape architecture thesis on Tinuy-an Falls and the WHOLE family is involved. :)Now, let me show you the various facets of this Little Niagara.


Visitors can also lounge around this makeshift bridge and admire the beauty of Tinuy-an.



Folklore
Tinuyo-an or Tinuy-an is a native vernacular which means an intentional act or performance to attain an objective or goal. Legend revealed that long before, the Magdiwata Mountain settlers were enslaved by cruel tribesmen coming from hinterlands of Agusan. They were forced to hunt with their masters, construct barotos (small boats) and perform forced manual labor. Tired of being slaves, one day while rowing the barotos boarded by their cruel masters, they intentionally shoved the barotos towards the waterfalls killing all their cruel masters.
What a tragic story but maybe there's some truth to it. One can be easily engulfed by the downward pressure from the falls.
I think Tinuy-an or Tinuyoan is an appropriate name. Since its a secluded area, one has to exert herculean efforts (okay, that's an exaggeration) just to get to this place. One has to really intend it (tinuyoan). But once you get there, its all worth it. You can just gaze in awe and thank God for this beautiful creation.

ayan ka na naman...

Kala ko ba goodbye na
Bakit ngayon bumabalik ka?
Kala ko ba its better this way
Bakit ngayon nagpaparamdam ka uli?
Kala ko ba we just have to keep things simple
Bakit ngayon nalilito na naman ako?


Haay...

Why do things have to be so complicated?

Di Na Natuto
Gary Valenciano

nand'yan ka na naman
tinutukso-tukso ang aking puso
ilang ulit na bang
iniiwasan ka di na natuto

sulyap ng 'yong mata
laging nadarama kahit malayo, ooh
nahihirapan na
lalapit-lapit pa di na natuto

isang ngiti mo lang
at ako'y napapaamo
yakapin mong minsan
ay muling magbabalik sa'yo

na walang kalaban-laban
ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang
ooh...

o eto na naman
laging nananabik ang aking puso,
ooh...
muling bumabalik
sa 'yong mga halik
di na natuto

refrain:

isang ngiti mo lang
at ako'y napapaamo (woh...)
yakapin mong minsan
ay muling magbabalik sa'yo

na walang kalaban-laban
ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang

refrain:

isang ngiti mo lang
at ako'y napapaamo (woh...)
yakapin mong minsan
ay muling magbabalik sa'yo

na walang kalaban-laban
ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang
ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang

Di Na Natuto - Gary Valenciano

so blessed!

Today, I learned another lesson in generosity.

Do not be afraid to give, even if you think you don't have enough, even if it hurts. When you give, He will return it to you a thousand-fold. You just have to learn how to part with your material things, so that He can fill your life with more blessings.

April Fools

I have to undergo an operation next Tuesday. :(

You think I'm kidding? I hope I am, but I'm not. This is something that I've been putting off for the longest time and next week is the perfect opportunity for me to haul myself to the hospital. As much as I want to make myself believe that its just a minor operation, I can't help feeling afraid.

Please Lord, give me strength :)

Kaya Natin!

This morning, I had an interesting ym conversation with Fr. F. He used to be a UP chaplain but he is now based in the States. I'd like to refer to him as the modern Rizal due to his radical ideas. He never fails to inspire me.

me: what's your take on Fr. Panlilio's plan to run for president?
fr. F: ideally, it's not such a bad thing. realistically, i'm not so sure.
me: why not?
fr. F: he needs to leave the priesthood first.
fr. F: then i believe he can, and perhaps should run.
me: so you think he can institute some much needed reforms in this country?
fr. F: i think seen from any angle, it's just the right thing to do.
philippine politics is a very odd beast.
reforms? i really don't know donna.
me: but at least, he's the lesser evil... not necessarily the better alternative
fr. F: isn't that sad. why do we have to constantly settle for the lesser evil? where are all those young people who were with you at UP? or those who were once young at UP, Ateneo, LaSalle, UST, etc.? Whatever happened to the "pagasa ng bayan" I wonder.
i think we know the answer.
they've become the very persons they once despised.
sad.
but you're right. why not panlilio?
maybe he's not the savior the country's been waiting for.
but maybe he can get the ball rolling.
maybe we'll get there one day, not too long after him.
me: i hope so.
pero ang hirap nga talaga father.
fr. F: don't be discouraged. no system is perfect.
me: being in the system for almost 5 years now, i still keep on asking myself why I'm here. what's the purpose?
fr. F: even here in the u.s., the supposed home of democracy,
things are not as easy as we sometimes think.
me: have i changed something? or has the system changed me already?
fr. F: we do what we can.
fr. F: good question. as long as you're still asking it, you're still ok.
fr. F: once you stop asking that question, i think you need to get out of the system.
me: okay. i'll keep that in mind.
fr. F: i know that one day, titino rin ang bayan natin.
it's not an empty hope.
i believe it very strongly.
me: sana nga.
fr. F: if you try reading rizal very carefully, you'll see that even at the end of the Fili, there's a faith in the indestructibility of hope.
the night won't last forever.
me: sometimes, its so hard to keep the faith. especially if the situation seems so hopeless
fr. F: that's why its important to find like-minded people.
who share our hopes.
and who strengthen our faith.
i do believe with all my heart that there are more good filipinos
that there are far more honest and decent filipinos than those who aren't.
me: yeah. i do too. the silent majority who's just watching and waiting.
fr. F: they're out there. what we need is not really a savior, but a lightning rod.
someone or something that will finally connect all these anonymous good and decent pinoys.
to connect and network them with each other.
how that's going to happen, i'm not so sure. gk is a start.
me: yeah, well.. i do hope that lightning rod would strike soon before the situation gets any worse.
fr. F: i meant lightning rod in terms of something that will collect and connect all that power that's just sitting out there and channel it.
pinoys don't need a savior, they need an inspiration.
obama won because he managed to tap into some deep seated psychological need of people here, especially young people.
if panlilio can serve as an inspiration, he would be good.
filipinos need to be inspired. not saved.
they can do that themselves.
but someone has to inspire them.
and be willing to do it without getting anything in return.
me: then, i do hope he can be that inspiration.
its already starting
anonymous people are donating for his campaign
fr. F: that's good news.
if the level f interest can be sustained, i think it can be done.
that's how obama won you know.
ordinary grassroots work of ordinary people like you.
students mostly.
two years ago nobody even took this guy seriously.
and now he's president
me: musta naman po ang peformance niya so far?
fr. F: he's doing very well
very sincere person.
and brilliant.
for once, the u.s. actually has an intellectual for president.
but fr. ed has to leave the priesthood.
that's the only way it will work.
that's a sacrifice he has to make.
me: but looks like he's not willing to give it up:(
fr. F: now that's going to be a problem.
even i won't vote for him.
no one can serve two masters at the same time.
plain and simple truth.
he will have more credibilty if he leaves the priesthood
and consider it the supreme sacrifice of his life for the sake of the country. if that is in fact is his motive for running.
he will lose credibility with the catholic intelligentsia.
thoughtful catholics will have doubts about him.
i believe they would rather that he sacrifice his priesthood and be sincere in his desire to serve in public office.
they'll probably vote for him still.
fr. F: but the doubts will linger, and that's never good.
me: haay, difficult decisions. and his opponents are not taking this sitting down. they've been hurling black propaganda against him as early as now
fr. F: that's to be expected.
filipinos play dirty.
that's the immaturity of our culture.
-End-

Papa's Girl

Last Sunday, my Papa celebrated his 51st birthday. I thought he was only 45 and he didn't bother to correct me. Well, he kept asserting he was just 28 which would mean he was 3 years old when he got married. Fat chance! :)

And since we weren't there to celebrate his birthday with him, I came up with this blog tribute for the most special man in my life, my papa - Pastor Manlangit.


What's in a name?
There were several times when I'd get curious questions from strangers.
Iha, anong religion niyo?
Sagot naman ako, Catholic po. Bakit po?
Eh bakit pastor ang tatay mo?
(lolz)
Eh kasi po, pinanganak siya nung March 29 at ayon sa Almanaqui (bisaya word for the Book of Names), Pastor daw dapat ang ipangalan sa kanya. OA naman po kung pastor pa siya. Eh di, Pastor Pastor Manlangit na ang name niya. Baka umabot na siya sa 7th Heaven.
(you can laugh now :))

Early years
Papa is the eldest of 6 siblings. They were born and raised in a small town in Bohol. When we were younger, he loved to regale us with stories of his youth and we would listen in awe like he was narrating the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. There were stories about how he would sell kangkong in the wee hours of the morning in order to have some baon and walk for miles just to be able to go to school. There was also a time when he was beaten by my lolo because he targeted my lola with a pintik (slingshot). When we visited his hometown, he showed us the river where they used to swim, the house where they used to live, even the place where he used to hide just so his father wouldn't be able to find him and beat him. (Apparently, corporal punishment was the norm back then.)

Who's your daddy?
I have very fond memories of my dad. I do consider myself as my Papa's girl because I'm the eldest and I was the only daughter for 4 years before my younger siblings were born one after the other.(read: ala do-re-mi) Kumbaga, nagexperiment muna sila for 4 years at nung na-assess nila na okay pala ang may baby, ayun dinagdagan na nila.

Since he was always assigned in some other remote region, he was not always around when I was growing up. I think he only went home once a month but that's good enough for me. I look forward to his coming home because that would mean many things - pasalubong! his favorite dishes! new bedsheet! (hehe)I even think I was spoiled back then because I always get what I wanted - walkman, roller skates, bike, even a Nancy Drew pocketbook.

But there's one painful experience in Grade 4 which I could not forget. We had a serious talk about my grades because I did not make it to the top ten (petty issue, right?). You see, I was not really an achiever. I was contented with just getting by and I didn't feel the need to excel. Before the confrontation, I already knew that I would get the flak. So I did the only thing which I thought would get me off the hook - I cried. Correction: I bawled to the best of my ability. But to no avail. He seemed set on what he's about to do. He made me sign a contract. Yep, a written contract governed by Art. 1305 of the Civil Code, which is a meeting of the minds between two persons whereby one binds himself, with respect to the other, to give something or to render some service. If I remember correctly, the contract went like this...

I, Donna Patricia Manlangit, promise my father that I will make it to the top ten or else I would be transferred to Requina Elementary School (which is a public school across our house).

Signed by me and my papa.

Now, how traumatic can that be for a 10 year old child? What would my friends say? I was more concerned with my "honor". Fueled by this fear, I always made sure that I made it to the top ten (in class lang ha, di ko kaya yung batch level). So I guess his method was effective. I think he also did it to my younger siblings. Wala din silang kawala. Fair enough :)

You think that's the end of the story? Not yet. Last year, as I was talking to my lolo, he mentioned that he also did that contract signing ritual to my papa. Huli ka! Wala palang originality ang papa ko. He also got the same treatment from his father. It has become a family tradition. Hmm, maybe I'll also do it to my future children complete with notary seal and all. hehehe.

What to say?
Pa, thank you so much for everything you've done for our family.
For all your sacrifices
For all the lessons
For all the adventures
For all the stories
I will treasure these memories forever.
You may not be perfect but you are the best Papa in the world.
I love you pa.

Being Spidey

Yesterday, I tried something new - wall climbing! Well, its not actually my first time to scale a wall, but it was my first time to go to the PowerUp gym and scale different walls for almost 2 hours. It gets pretty draining after a while but I enjoyed myself immensely.

I also learned how to belay. Yey! According to Wikipedia, belaying is the technique of controlling the rope so that a falling climber does not fall very far. As the climber moves on the climb, the belayer must remove the slack from the rope by paying out or pulling in excess rope. If the climber falls, then they will free-fall the distance of the slack or unprotected rope before friction applied by the belayer will start to slow their descent. It is extremely important for the belayer to concentrate on the climber's situation, as their role is crucial for the climber's safety. (emphasis mine)

When Kuya Chonny showed us the proper way to belay, it looked smooth and easy but no, when it was my turn, it wasn't easy after all. Let me qualify that statement. Belaying itself is not that complicated but the thought that somebody's life is at stake if ever I make a mistake... then that's when things get complicated. :) I can imagine the fear that my friend D felt when she was belaying for her son. Anyway, I got used to it after a while and we even received our belay certificates. hehe

With regards to the climbing experience, it gave me a different kind of high, a sudden rush of adrenaline. The fear of falling and the determination to get it to the top added to the excitement. It made me feel like Spiderman trying to look for stable handholds and footholds just to make it to the top. For starters, we scaled the Kiddie wall. Then moved on to the Molly wall. Then, we attempted the Poise wall which was true to its name. According to my friend, "Kaya Poise and tawag sa wall na yun kasi nakakawala ng poise." hehe. The pictures were totally unglamorous but what the heck, I strained myself to get to the middle part. After that, I can't hold on any longer. I had to let go. Thanks to my friend who was belaying, I was able to land in one piece. Haay, that was pretty frustrating. This just goes to show that I have to build up on my upper body strength and lose a little weight so that I can pull myself up. Well, I can't learn it all in a day. I still have the whole summer to practice and try again. :)


Someday, I'll conquer that Poise wall and any other wall for that matter.

P.S.
Thanks to Dana B. for the action shots. :)

why suffer?

Journal Entry
20 August 2008

I realize now that suffering and oppression will always be part of this world. There will always be people who exploit and oppress others and the economic society will always be unjust - just as it was in Jesus' time. But the goal is not to live a happy life free from all these oppression and suffering. That would be sheer utopia. The goal is to live a meaningful life. Amidst all these suffering, one must find the real meaning and purpose of this whole experience. One must try to understand, coupled with God's grace, the reason why god allows these things to happen in one's life. God's intention is not to hurt you - I'm sure it must hurt him also to see his sons and daughters suffer but like a loving Father, He can see ahead into the future. He knows that one has to go through all these painful experiences in order to grow and learn the lessons and purposes of this life. And just like the loving Father that he is, he does not give us things or experiences that we cannot bear. He knows us more than we know ourselves. He knows what we are capable of doing. We just need a slight push into that direction. Know that He is the Good Shepherd and He wants what is best for us - and that is to be with him in heaven after our temporary exile here on earth.


dpm

Choosing a Life that Matters

LIFE THAT MATTERS

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten
will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will
shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned
or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations
and jealousies will finally disappear.
So to, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.
It wont matter where you came from or what side
of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It wont matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin colour will be irrelevant.
So what will matter?
What will matter is not what you bought but what you built,
not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion,
courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged
others to emulate your example.
What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you knew,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when you are gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories
that live in those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered,
by whom and for what.
Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstance but of choice.
Choose a life that matters."

via So She Tells You

kwentong peyups

1. ANONG STUDENT NUMBER MO?
00-71804
At least, umabot pa sa new millennium. Hindi pa ganun ka-ancient.

2. NAKAPASA KA BA OR WAITLISTED?
Awa ng Diyos, nakapasa naman.

3. PAANO MO NALAMAN ANG ENTRANCE EXAM RESULT?
Hmm, bumabagyo pa nun ng lumabas ang result. Sinabihan yata ako ng isang kaklase. Ayoko pang maniwala hanggang di ko nakita sa newspaper.

4. ANO ANG FIRST CHOICE MO NA COURSE?
Linguistics. Wala akong alam tungkol dun pero dahil yun ang gustong kunin ng isa kong pinsan at sounds sushal, so yun ang kinuha ko.

5. SECOND CHOICE?
BAA. Lahat naman yata ng magulang nun, yun ang gustong ipakuha sa mga anak.

6. ANO COURSE NATAPOS MO?
Public Administration

7. NAG-SHIFT KA BA?
Yep. nosebleed talaga ako dun sa linguistics.

8. CHINITO/CHINITA KA BA?
True blue pinay.

9. NAKAPAG-DORM KA BA?
Siyempre.
Kalay. Molave. Yakal. Ilang-ilang.

10. NAKA UNO KA BA?
meron din naman. looking back, parang andaling makakuha ng uno nun. ngayon sa lost school, dugo, pawis, pati uhog ang kailangan ibigay para makakuha ng tres. :)

11. NAGKA-3?
yup. meron din.

12. LAGI KA BANG PUMAPASOK SA KLAS?
Yup. Nasa dorm lang naman kasi ako. kaya kahit bumabagyo, basta may pasok, pasok pa rin ako. Nagwalk-out lang ako nung Edsa Dos kasi si Prof. Bauzon na rin ang nagsabi na magwalk-out kami. Sumusunod lang naman ako sa utos ng mga nakakataas.

13. MAY SCHOLARSHIP KA BA?
STFAP

14. ILANG UNITS NA ANG NAIPASA MO.
sa undergrad? tapos na lahat.
sa MA? thesis units na lang.
sa lost school? mahaba-habang biyahe pa to.

15. NANGARAP KA BANG MAGING CUM LAUDE?
nangarap din naman at nagsumikap na matupad ang pangarap.
Kasi naman yung nanay ko lagi akong pinagsasabihan nung hayskul, bakit daw di ko siya pinapaakyat ng stage?
Sabi ko naman sa kanya, tara ma, akyat tayo ngayon na. (pilosopang bata!)
Kaya nung aakyat na kami sa stage nung college grad, binulungan ko siya.
O ma, aakyat na tayo ng stage ha. UP pa. hehe

16. KELAN KA NAGTAPOS?
April 2004

17. FAVE PROF
Mam Mila Aguilar
Sir Jocano

18. WORST TEACHER:
Prof. Saguil

19. FAVE SUBJECT:
Hum 1

20. WORST SUBJECT:
Math 17

21. FAVE BUILDING:
Molave.

22. PABORITONG KAINAN:
Albergus. walang choice, yun ang kainan sa dorm eh.

23. NONG ESTUDYANTE KA PA MAGKANO BA ANG BINABAYAD MO SA JEEP?
3.50

24. LAGI KA BA SA LIBRARY
hindi masyado. mas gusto ko laging nasa labas.

25. NAGPUNTA KA BA SA CLINIC NUN?
infirmatay? oo. para magpatoothbrush. 10 pesos lang bayad sa oral prophylaxis eh.

26. MAY CRUSH KA BA SA CAMPUS?
marami din naman. yung isa, naging gaysha na. ;P

27. ANU-ANO ANG MGA NAGING PE MO?
Social Dance 1 and 2, Basketball, Softball, Bowling

28. KAMUSTA NAMAN ANG BLOCK NYO?
okay lang pero halatang ginawang backdoor lang ang ling. isa lang ang gumraduate ng linguistics sa amin at teacher na siya ngaun sa dept.

29. MEMORIZE MO BA ANG ALMA MATER SONG
oo naman. It never fails to give me the goosebumps. Pero mas gusto ko yung version for Lean Alejandro.

Malayong lupain
Di kailangang marating
Dito maglilingkod sa bayan natin.

30. MEMBER KA BA NG VARSITY TEAM?
asa pa. iba ang interests ko nun.

31. NAKA-PERFECT KA NA BA NG EXAM?
yup, lagpas pa sa perfect. Land Administration exam. That was right after watching the Oblation Run.

32. DITO KA BA NATUTONG UMINOM NG BEER?
di ako masyadong umiinom nun. sa lost skul pa.

33. Nahuli ka bang nakikipaglampungan sa Sunken Garden/ UP grounds?
hwhaat?!? ang sarap ngang pagsabihan ng mga yun, get a room!

34. Saan ang pinakamasarap na Fishball?
hindi ako masyadong mahilig sa fishball kasi masyadong artificial na ang lasa, di ko malasahan ang fish. mas gusto ko yung fishball nung highschool na galing sa balde, at ang pinangkukuha ung kutsara para sa gatas. 2 for 25 cents. sulit na sulit.

35. Anong battalion mo nung ROTC?
We weren't required to join that.

36. Ano paborito mong meryenda sa UP?
Banana cue, monay, rice krispies sa first stall, halo-halo sa LB for 15pesos.

37. Naikot mo na ba ang buong UP grounds?
siyempre naman.

38. Inulan ka ba nung umattend ka ng University Graduation?
napakainit nga nun. pero nun ko naramdaman na graduate na nga talaga ako.

39. Ano ang pinakagrabeng pilang napuntahan mo?
enrollment. although nung first year ako unang inimplement ang CRS.

40. Kung may quote ka para sa UP, ano ito?
Salamat sa paghubog ng aking kamalayan.

Taften Summer Getaway

Summer na naman! Sarap na sanang pumunta sa beach. Unfortunately, I still have final exams until the 28th of April. How cool is that? :) So, I might as well content myself with listing my fave getaways and try to relive the moment. You might get some ideas for your own summer escapades.

P.S.
As soon as I have the time, I'll try to draft a brief backgrounder about each destination. For now, just content yourself with the pictures.

1. Tinuy-an Falls, Bislig, Surigao del Sur


2. Coron Island, Palawan


3. Puerto Princesa, Palawan


4. Boracay Island, Panay

5. Bohol


6. Bantayan Island, Cebu


7. Anawangin, Zambales


8. Hagonoy Island, Bislig, Surigao del Sur


9. Donsol, Sorsogon


10. Sagada, Mt. Province

Be still, know that I am God

24 March 2009

My lame attempt at poetry...
Inspired by Psalm 46:11 "Be still, know that I am God."

Be still my soul
God is around
Be still my soul
His love abounds

Silence the chatter within
Listen to His voice
Allow Him to come in
Go, make that choice

No matter what state you are in
Confused, betrayed even heartbroken
Remember, He has a reason for every strife
For He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life

Know these truths by heart
For it will guide you through different paths
And when you're confronted with choices good or bad
Be still and know that He is God

torturous route

Last Friday, I attended a forum sponsored by the Philippine Human Rights Committee (PHRC) for the ratification and possible implementation of the Optional Protocol to the Convention Against Torture (OPCAT). This additional protocol aims to minimize the incidence of torture by establishing a system of regular visits to jails and detention centers. These regular visits will be conducted by the Sub-Committee for the Prevention of Torture (SPT), which is an international body composed of 10 experts. The National Preventive Mechanism (NPM) will be a local body composed of independent experts. This protocol has been pending in our committee since last year. We can not do anything about it yet because we have been getting mixed signals from the "powers that be". First, they're supporting it. Then we heard in the news that they're shelving it for awhile. Last thing I heard, they're pro-ratification but they plan to defer compliance with the obligations. ano ba talaga?

First, I'd like to clarify my position that I am against torture or any kind of violence against persons. There is no sufficient justification for a person in authority to inflict pain on another for the sake of extracting information or even for the sheer fun of it. Even if they are detained or convicted, they are still people with rights. Allegedly, incidents of torture are still pervasive even if the martial law era is long gone. This is the impetus for the immediate ratification of OPCAT. Through these surprise visits from experts, torture incidents would hopefully be lessened because other people would be observing the jails and other detention centers. But is this the real solution? I do not see the added value for the NPM since we already have a local body doing that function headed by the CHR. I think it would be a mere redundancy of function and another stopgap measure. If the administration is serious with its crusade against torture (if it has any serious agenda at all besides the 2010 elections), it can and should already operate within the CAT framework which we ratified decades ago. Now, if the "powers that be" can not do that and continues to creatively make excuses for non-compliance, then I say:

Ratify OPCAT!

If only to send a clear signal to the torture perpetrators, somebody is watching!

Go, live your life

I got this from some blog, sorry I forgot which one. But I just love the message so I thought of reposting it here. This is something I would like to remind myself everyday.



So fail.
Be bad at things.
Be embarrassed.
Be afraid.
Be vulnerable.
Go out on a limb or two or twelve.
You will fall, and it will hurt.
But the farther you fall, the higher you will rise.
The higher you rise, the clearer your future becomes.
Failure is a gift, welcome it.
There are people who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the people they became, how certain chances pass them by, why they didn’t take the roads less traveled. Those people aren’t you. You have front row seats to your own transformation and in transforming yourself, you might transform the world. It will be electric, and I promise it will be terrifying. Embrace that; embrace the new person you’re becoming. This is your moment. I promise you, it is now, not to two minutes from now, not tomorrow, but really now. Own that, know that deep in your bones, go to sleep every night knowing that, wake up every morning remembering that, and keep going.

No U-turns

"I felt like that moment would change me,
that nothing would ever be the same again.
And it wasnt.
Now that I have gone there I cant ever
go back and pretend I hadnt.
I know the way now.
I cant pretend that I dont.
If I knew it would turn out like this I
dont think I would have done it.
They say it wasnt true love if you dont
think the pain of the end was worth it.
I loved you with all my heart and soul but
all of this has ruined what we had.
The darkness has bled into the light
and the past is now a little murky.
I am moving on."

via So She Tells You

The regret you will feel

Another repost from So She Tells You

"I never thought you'd let me walk away that easily.
Without any real attempt to work things out.
There was no screaming, no fighting and no
real emotion on your part.
I think I imagined those tears in your eyes.
They didnt glisten like the ones that fell from mine.
I thought you would see how wrong you were.
I thought that you would miss me - my laugh, my
imagination and my love.
How could you not miss me?
I took the best parts of you and I washed away the
worst. I pretended you were this perfect specimen,
someone who had no faults and did no wrong.
Maybe I imagined the whole thing.
I never wanted to be the tragic person who has
been broken by a lover.
But when I let you in I opened myself up to hurt.
And I'm not ashamed to have loved you that much.
How naive and sweet I used to be.
If you ever pass by this way to see how I am
doing. If you stop by to read my thoughts and words,
know that life is full of moments and you had me,
for a moment. But then you let me go.
And that regret is yours to carry."

I write what I feel

Got this poem from So She Tells You


Have you ever had the feeling that you want to hear or read something which would affirm your emotions? This poem is it.

I just had to post it here. My exact sentiments ;(

I keep writing. I don't know why really.
Maybe because this has all been new for me.
I wanted to note the pain. The rawness of that emotion.
The emptiness inside that I never thought would be filled.
This has been a journey for me.
And as I come to the end of this road another will open.
That's just the way this thing works.
I want you to know that I am healing.
The scars arent as visible now.
I stopped counting the days [weeks] since you left [we parted ways].
I stopped wanting you to come back.
Inner strength is a virtue.
Friendship can get you through the darkest night.
As I begin this new adventure I hold my head high,
and a smile is resting on my lips.

And I hopefully say, "The best is yet to come."

minsan sa may Kalayaan...

Taong 2000, nung una akong umapak sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas. Galing sa napakalayong probinsiya ng Surigao del Sur, bitbit ko ang isang napakalaging bag na naglalaman ng lahat ng mga gamit at gagamitin ko sa aking pamamalagi sa UP. Ang sabi nila, maswerte daw ako at nakapasa ako sa UPCAT, at sa Diliman pa. Magkahalong eksaytment at kaba ang naramdaman ko noon. Biruin mo, first time kong mahiwalay sa mga magulang ko at wala pa akong kamag-anak sa Maynila.

Buti na lang sa Kalayaan Residence Hall ako nakatira, at ito na rin ang naging unang tahanan ko sa UP. Dito ko nakilala ang mga taong kaibigan ko pa rin hanggang ngayon. Dito kami natutong mangarap at natuto ring maghirap para sa mga pangarap na yun. Iba't iba kami ng pinanggalingang probinsiya, iba't iba rin ang kurso, pero pinagsama kami ng aming mga pangarap - sana ay makagraduate mula sa premyadong Unibersidad ng Pilipinas. Kaya nga relate na relate ako sa kanta ng E-heads na Minsan.

Minsan - Eraserheads

minsan sa may kalayaan tayo'y nagkatagpuan
may mga sariling gimik at kaya-kanyang hangad sa buhay
sa ilalim ng iisang bubong
mga sekretong ibinubulong
kahit na anong mangyari
kahit na saan ka man patungo
chorus
ngunit ngayon kay bilis maglaho ng kahapon
sana'y huwag kalimutan ang ating mga pinagsamahan
at kung sakaling gipitin ay laging iisipin
na minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan
minsan ay parang wala nang bukas sa buhay natin
inuman sa magdamag na para bang tayo'y mauubusan
sa ilalim ng bilog na buwan
mga tiyan nati'y walang laman
ngunit kahit na walang pera
ang bawat gabi'y anong saya
repeat chorus
minsan ay hindi ko na alam ang nangyayari
kahit na anong gawin
lahat ng bagay ay merong hangganan
dahil ngayon tayo ay nilimot ng kahapon
di na mapipilitang buhayin ang ating pinagsamahan
ngunit kung sakaling mapadaan baka
ikaw ay aking tawagan
dahil minsan tayo ay naging
tunay na magkaibigan

At nung kinakanta ito ng E-heads nung Final Set Concert, bumalik sa aking alaala ang mga araw na yun sa Kalay. Ang pagmemeryenda ng pancit canton at banana cue. Ang pagkukwentuhan ng ghost stories sa gabi kaya sama-sama kaming natulog sa isang kwarto kasi tinakot namin ang mga sarili namin sa mga kwento. Ang mga iyakan blues dahil namimiss namin ang mga pamilya namin. Ang amoy ng kape dahil nagpupuyat para sa finals. Ang kwentuhan sa mess hall at pangchaka sa pagkain ng Somos. Ang libreng freshman concert kung saan ko unang nakitang tumugtog ang Parokya ni Edgar at siyempre ang Eraserheads. At dahil hindi kami umabot sa curfew, tumambay na lang kami sa may Procurement Service at pinatawag pa sa office ni Ma'am Alma. Pero okay lang, sulit na sulit naman ang panonood namin sa concert na yun.

Haay, kay bilis nga lang maglaho ng kahapon. May kanya-kanya na kaming mga buhay. May mga natupad na ring mga pangarap, at may mga bagong pangarap na pilit tinutupad. Pero ang sarap pa rin balik-balikan ng mga alaala.

Salamat Eraserheads dahil sa paggawa niyo ng mga magandang kanta na nakakapagpabalik ng mga ganitong alaala. Salamat dahil hindi kayo nagpadala sa mga pagsubok na kinaharap niyo noon. Nakakalungkot dahil totoo nga ang kasabihan na "Some good things never last!". Pero sapat na nga siguro ang mahigit na isang dekadang magkasama at magkajam kayo sa pagbuo ng musika. Higit sa lahat, maraming salamat sa pagbahagi niyo ng musikang ito sa mga tagahangang tulad ko.

Salamat at Paalam Eraserheads!

writing for you

A friend once told me that one technique in conquering the fear of writing is to think about a story which I would like to share with somebody.

Think of that person while writing your story and storytelling will come naturally.

This gave me a new perspective in writing. Each one of us has our own story to tell and its up to us to convey this to the world through whatever medium we choose.

Now, I resolve to start writing for YOU.

distracted

These feelings are so new to me and I don't know how to handle it. Its invading my consciousness and distracting me. So many questions, I need an answer.


Haay, kay hirap pala.

Back Staff

I AM worth a lot

In a brief conversation, a man, speaking to a woman, was out to pursue the question, "What kind of man are you looking for?"

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asked, "Do you really want to know?"
Reluctantly, he said, "Yes" as she began to expound...


"As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself.

I pay my own bills.

I take care of my household without the help of any man- or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'"


The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money... I need something more. I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said,


"I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection Mentally. I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection Spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... Believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for perfection Financially because I don't need a financial... burden.

I am looking for someone who is Sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but Strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can Respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... He just has to be worthy.

God made woman to be a helpmate for man. At this point, I can't help a man if he can't help himself."


When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face, and exclaimed, "You're asking for a whole lot!"

To which she gracefully replied...


"Only if you think I'm not WORTH a lot." :)

***

When the pressure to be with someone is building up on us

When we think of lowering our standards just to entertain the first guy who asks us out

Sisters, we need to be reminded of this message - WE are worth a lot.

We should never settle for anything less...

fear...

I can't say it often enough. I have a fear of writing and an even greater fear of posting my thoughts publicly like this blog. Yet again, I keep on convincing myself that its about time to conquer this fear. I need to learn how to communicate my thoughts in written form. And I think, blogging is one great way to practice my writing skills. With this, I say hello to my blog again and I hope I'll be able to blog more often.

driven...

I may have slacked off in my acads for the past few days but now, I regained my inner drive to catch up with my acad stuff and prepare for the final exams next week. I owe it to Prof. Muyot for being so inspiring.

Note:
I started writing this entry October of last year. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to finish it due to my usual fear. ;p Now, I'll just jot down some insights which I noted in my journal.

* Believe in yourself. Do not limit yourself. Always aspire to be better.
* Do not think about the grades. What is more important is what you learned from each class, each case, each day. This will all add up to your arsenal of knowledge and help you become a good lawyer.
* Be a student of integrity.
* Add more value to people. Make it your passion.
* Don't make excuses for your failures. Learn from it and improve your performance.
* There are many choices available for you - just be patient.
* Read...read... and read. Devise a framework. The law is simple, you don't have to complicate it. Read and understand. Do more than what is expected of you.
* Strive to become a DAMN GOOD LAWYER and use it to improve the current situation.
* Be the solution.
* Learn to digest cases succintly.
* Its a learning process. Change your mind about law school as early as now.

time to write

Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven"

In the Ecclesiastes reading today, Qoheleth was saying that there's a time for everything.. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance. He is also the author who declared that everything is meaningless, meaningless. So, what are we supposed to do?Do we just stay idle and wait for our lives to end? Or do we go out and do crazy stuff because life is short and we gotta make the most out of it?

I guess what he just wanted to say is for the people to realize that every worldly pursuit is meaningless unless one takes it in the context of eternity. Life does not end with our last breath. Its just the start of something better.. one might call it resurrection or after life or heaven.. The most important thing is to think beyond this earthly life. It might be advisable to ask myself this question: Will this pursuit bring me closer to my heavenly inheritance?

This passage also made me reflect on the things that are keeping me preoccupied right now. I guess this is the time to write and the time to think about what I really want to do with my life. Are these pursuits bringing me closer to heaven? Or am I just wasting my time pursuing meaningless goals? Hmmm.. that's a hard question to answer. I may be going through very difficult times right now but I believe these struggles only make me cling more strongly to Him whom I know will always be there for me. Maybe, that's the purpose of all these..

Life may not be meaningless after all.. 

 

Consti recit

I thought it would just be another Consti class where I'll have to endure the banter between the professor and the one who would be called on to recite. I did not expect that it would be me who would be placed on the spot. And to make matters worse, I was the first one to recite. Hmm, maybe that was also to my advantage because that was the case that I read (note: reading is different from understanding and being able to recite the case) before class. Its a good thing I was able to get a copy of Coquia's annotation on the ITF v. Comelec. Thank God I was able to recall some of the facts but most of the time I was just making a very wild guess. Although in my standards it was just an okay performance, but it was way, way better than my first one. Does this mean I'm finally learning the rules of the game? Nah, I know I still have a lot to learn. Remembering F.G. David's motto: I know what I know. What I do not know, I know I do not know. Now, that's a good way to look at it. I know I do not know many things and I do know that I still have to exert Herculean efforts to finally get over the hump.

Now, another challenge is on the way - Midterms! Haay, gotta prepare for the fight..

updates.. updates..

So many things happened since my last post and suffice it to say that I wanted to blog about all of those things but there's just no time. Among the many events, one major change in my life right now is I am officially a law student. Yep, you heard it right. I finally summoned enough guts to take the plunge to oblivion.That would mean I'll be stuck with reading cases for the next 6 years of my life.

But amazingly, I am enjoying myself! (read: feeling nerd!) I never thought reading cases would be so much fun. Of course, reading it is different from actually reciting it in class. It would take a certain level of concentrated reading to get the facts right and understanding the reasoning of the court. Owel, I'll be blogging about all my l[aw]st school experiences from now on.

Visita Iglesia 2008

Since I graduated from college and started working, I realized that haven't observed the Holy Week traditions. For me, Holy Week signifies a very long break from the rigors of the workplace and its the perfect time to go to the beach. But this year - I longed to do something different or rather something traditional. Fortunately, a friend invited me to join their SFC chapter's Visita Iglesia. They intended to visit seven churches in Laguna and Rizal areas.
I was very excited about the whole activity since it would be my first time and I love visiting old churches. The whole group was composed of 45 pilgrims accommodated in 8 cars.

It took us almost 3 hours to get to the first church in Paete, Laguna - the home of talented sculptors. We visited the Church of St. James the Apostle. Like many of the churches in the province, the Paete Church was built during the early Spanish period. But the novelty of this church lies in the fact that all the religious images found here were carved and/or painted by the residents of Paete long ago. The intricate baroque altar is a monument to their woodcarving industry and the walls of the church boast of large murals done by Jose Dans (19th Century), a true son of Paete who used color pigments mixed with pulverized volcanic ash and brushes fashioned from cat’s hair. Although the church has been recently renovated, and the construction materials are not like the original, the designs remain mainly the same. The group took a few minutes to visit the First Station (Jesus leads the Holy Eucharist) and Second Station (Jesus prays in Gethsemane). After that, it was time to move on to the second church.

The Church of San Pedro de Alcantara in Pakil, Laguna was the second destination. Completed in 1667 after 35 years of construction, the architectural design of the Pedro de Alcantara Parish Church is reminiscent of the Corinthian and Ionic styles. In 1788, the Virgin of Turumba was enshrined in this church. Through the years, the church has survived great calamities. Along with the rectory, it was burned in 1851 but was repaired the same year; it survived two earthquakes, one in 1881 and the other in 1937. Now, the church is a major attraction of the area. 14 icons grace its main altar with the Archangel Michael towering above the others. Each icon is housed in an elaborately carved niche. This old Franciscan church also houses an authentic painting of Jose Dans (19th Century), a painter from Paete. Although the interior of the church has been renovated recently, the design of the church remains basically the same. It has a belfry with four small bells and one huge bell, which are rung daily at 12:00 noon and 6:00 p.m. After admiring the intricate carvings in the church, the group visited the Third Station (Jesus before the Sanhedrin) and Fourth Station (Jesus is scourged and crowned with thorns).

Third stop was in Pangil, Laguna at the Church of Nuestra Sra. dela Natividad. A small church was built in 1587 but later destroyed by storms and earthquakes, which paved the way to construct a bigger church supervised by Fray Gonzalo del Kobi,OFM, and finished in 1611, when the first priest, Fray Jose Linares,OFM, was assigned. Prince Carlos of Spain donated to the church the images of Nstra. Sra. de LaO, depicting her pregnancy of Jesus, and the Sto. Nino de LaO. The church suffered destruction during the WW II and from its ruins the citizenry reconstructed a new one; further modernized when the Maryknoll Fathers took over in 1950 to 1958. This is where we prayed before the Fifth Station (Jesus carries the cross to Calvary) and Sixth Station (Jesus falls under the weight of the cross). We also encountered several people who were beating themselves. I can't help but wonder why they have to do that. Did they commit a heinous crime which they deeply regret? I wouldn't know. But all I know is that Jesus Christ already died for our sins and its up to us to recognize that and live like forgiven Christians. Since it was already past noontime, the group decided to look for a shady place and settle down for lunch. It was an enjoyable experience of sharing and bonding with fellow SFC's.

The pilgrimage then proceeded to Mabitac, Laguna where we paid our respects to Our Lady of Candelaria. The Fanciscan Missionaries established this town in 1611 and the first chapel in 1618, under the supervision of Fray Miguel de Talavera,OFM. Due to flooding, the faithful constructed a bigger stone church on top of the hill called Calvario but partly damaged by an earthquake in 1880. From its vantage point commands a panoramic view of the whole municipality and Laguna Lake. The original 90 concrete stairways was renovated to 126 that leads up to the portals of the church. Its façade is definitely old Spanish style but the interior is quite modern. Like most old churches, it has a belfry connected to the main church. Here we prayed before the Seventh Station (Jesus is helped by Simon of Cyrene) and Eighth Station (Jesus meets the pious women of Jerusalem).

Crossing the Rizal-Laguna border, we moved on to the Church of San Ildefonso in Tanay, Rizal. There was a mixture of Philippine colonial design with elements of Baroque. The first Tanay Catholic Church made of nipa and bamboo was built in 1606. The current building made of locally quarried stone was completed in 1680. In 1783, it was reconstructed together with the convent. The church is an example of early Renaissance architecture. It has a four-storey octagonal tower, a façade of adobe blocks, relieved by columns and semicircular arched windows. Its podium is adorned by a niche with the statue of San Ildefonso de Toledo, the patron saint of the town. A convent and a courtyard connect the church to the Catholic school managed by the Archdiocese of Antipolo. Inside are ornate altars with statues of saints. Finely carved, 200 year-old Stations of the Cross add luster to the antiquity of the church. With deep appreciation for these antiques and its inspiration, we prayed the Ninth Station (Jesus is nailed on the cross) and Tenth Station (Jesus promises Heaven to the repentant thief).

Then, we proceeded to Baras Church in Rizal Baras which is one of the oldest in the area, having been completed in 1686. The first church in Baras was built by the Franciscans in 1595. The town of Baras was transferred to Ibayo in 1636 but the church was returned to the present site in 1682. It was the Jesuits who administered the parish from 1616 to 1679. The interior of the church was simply done. The altar and the lanterns are stone artifacts, unearthed beneath the church. Since the mass was about to begin, we visited the Eleventh Station (Jesus entrusts Mary and John to each other) and Twelfth Station (Jesus suffers and dies on the cross) in the garden.

And the last and seventh church was located in Morong, Rizal - the Church of San Geronimo. Originally built in 1615 by Chinese craftsmen, the church survived natural disasters and the tumultuous Spanish regime, with its walls standing witness to the Katipuneros who were captured and executed there. Sitting majestically on a hill overlooking the river, the Morong Church is truly a cultural icon, an edifice of the Christian faith, and a cradle of our architectural heritage. Its new belfry was integrated with the old three-storey facade, thus, becoming one of the most well-composed architectures in colonial Philippines. The group visited the Thirteenth Station (Jesus is taken down from the cross and laid in the tomb) and Fourteenth Station (Jesus rises from the dead).

Truly, I felt very blessed throughout the whole experience. I felt very awed at the majesty of these century-old structures. But on the other hand, I also realized the importance of building God's church within ourselves. The Scriptures have always reminded us that the human body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. We have no right to defile it - instead, we should strive hard to make our earthly lives a fitting sacrifice for our God. The God who loved us so much that He was willing to give us His only Son, who had to suffer and die and rise again in order to show us the way to eternal happiness in His Kingdom. Thus, the true essence of the Paschal mystery.
To God be the glory.

Voice of Truth

For Armie Medrano... may you always choose to listen to the voice of truth..
Godbless you on your journey...

LAE interview

I can't write about my LAE experience just yet... because I'm still scheduled for interview this coming Monday... I don't know what to expect and I'm not sure how I'll perform. But all I know is - I want this with all my heart! so bless me God... :-)


LAE Interview Schedule

MONDAY, MARCH 31, 2008 (P.M.)

PANEL 1:

1	LOZADA, AARON ERICK AGUILAR
2	LUCAS, DANJUN GARCIA
3	LUCIANO, MARK CHRISTIAN DEL ROSARIO
4	MACABODBOD, LOU BRYAN RANA
5	MACANAN, MA. FATIMA APINADO

PANEL 2:

6	MACATANGAY, JOSEPH MIRRO AGUADO
7	MADARIETA, MARIA CRISTINA MURILLO
8	MADRID, KRISTOFFER GABRIEL LAURIO
9	MANCAO, KATRINA MICHELLE FERRAREN
10	MANIEGO, CATRIONA RHIANNON GALINDEZ

PANEL 3:

11	MANLAGÑIT, FRANCIS ANTONIO VARGAS
12	MANLANGIT, DONNA PATRICIA CALIZAR
13	MANOTOC, FERDINAND RICHARD MICHAEL MARCOS
14	MARANAN, JEWELYN CABRERA
15	MARANAN, MARIA CARMELA TEODORO