Exploits of the Waif

Ultimate Dream: Travel Around the World

2011-06-22T01:58:00.000-07:00

I've always wanted to do this and now I am determined to fulfill it thanks to the inspiring posts of Wanderlass who's living the dream NOW.

Someday, I'll get my chance. I'll just have to earn enough money to sustain me for a whole year of travelling. Or maybe I can get a job which will allow me to travel.

Wish me luck on this dream! ;p

Day 10 (9 June 2011)

2011-06-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

Today, I am grateful or the opportunity to participate in a forum on electronic waste. It made me realize (for the nth time) the importance of policy work because it affects the lives of people. I met several incredible people during that forum who inspired me to make the most out of this life, pursue my passion, and be the best that I can be in my chosen field.

P.S.
Watch out for a separate entry about this topic.

Day 9 (8 June 20110

2011-06-15T08:06:00.000-07:00

Today, I am thankful that I was able to finish my enrollment in one whole day. That would have been an impossible feat during my college days. Although the schedule for this semester is suicidal, I would gladly embrace the challenge since I already made that decision when I entered law school.

Day 8 (7 June 2011)

2011-06-15T08:04:00.001-07:00

Today, I am grateful to be back to my usual routine. Breakfast with my siblings is enough to jumpstart my day. ;p

Day 7 (6 June 2011)

2011-06-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

Today, I am grateful for the safe flight from Batanes to Manila. I still had a vacation hangover because I really missed Batanes but I know I had to get back to work. I am simply grateful for the whole experience. I hope I can re-live the dream again. For now, I'll have to content myself with photos and stories. ;p

I am also grateful for the gift of dance which I got the chance to share with a good friend who's getting married on Friday. She requested me to do the choreography for their couple dance and I willingly obliged. Its always a pleasure to help people learn a new skill and see them sharing this skill with other people.

Living Dream No. 6 in Batanes

2011-06-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

As promised, I'll be giving you a blow by blow account of our Batanes escapade. ;)

Warning: This will be a VERY lengthy post!

The Travel

I have always wanted to go to Batanes that's why I included it in my 30 Things to do Before I Turn 30 List. One thing that's hindering me from doing so was the steep airfare price. A regular roundtrip ticket to Basco would cost around P15,000 pesos. So last February, when Seair announced a promo that they'll be selling these tickets for half the price, hindi na kami nagpatumpik-tumpik pa, we immediately grabbed that opportunity even if our scheduled flight is still in June. With a roundtrip ticket worth P7k, we were all set to fly to Basco on June 2 - 5.

However, two days before our scheduled flight, I received an email informing me that I was bumped off from the June 2 flight and they're moving me to a June 3 flight and that would mean that my stay in my dream destination would be cut short. So I requested the personnel to move my return flight to June 6 so that I can still spend 3 full days there. He informed me that I would have to pay P1,000 for the re-booking. That's when I blew my top off. In the first place, it was not my fault that my flight from Manila was re-booked and now, they're charging me if I wanted to change my return flight. The personnel told me to calm down and said that he has to consult with the boss. Well, to make the long story short, he consented to my request for a free re-booking. So, I still got to spend 3 full days and 3 nights in Batanes.

The (Perfect) Company

Well, we call ourselves the Philcoa hotties. We're blockmates in law school who share one thing in common: passion for travel. During sembreaks, or even mini-breaks within the sem, we usually plan out-of-town trips just to get away from the crazy world of lost school. We looked forward for finals week to be over because that would mean that June is just around the corner. I could say that they're the perfect company for this journey because we were always open to any adventure and we never backed down from any challenge, from climbing mountains, jump shots, buwis-buhay shots, crawling through the hills littered with cow and goat dung, even riding on top of a jeepney. You can't get more adventurous than that. ;)

The Destination

Batanes is everything that the travel books have described and more! It was truly breathtaking. Every view is better than the previous one. Even if one is not a good photographer, its easy to capture an award winning photograph due to the sheer beauty of the place. I just couldn't help but sing at the top of my lungs - the hills are alive with the sound of music! When we were on top of a mountain enveloped by the clouds, I also wanted to belt out Hiraya Manawari's theme song:

Gusto kong abutin ang tayog ng ulap
Gusto kong sisirin ang lalim ng dagat
Gusto kong akyatin ang tuktok ng bundok
Tuklasin ang hiwaga sa puso ko'y, bumabalot ;p

I can go on and on and on about this beautiful place but it would never do justice to the beauty of Batanes.
To a certain extent, it has been touched by time and civilization since most of the houses in Basco were already of modern design. I just love the simplicity of it all. The main street is just one lane and you can see different people from different walks of life riding bicycles everywhere.

God must have spent a little more time in Batanes because it is truly magnificent.

The Dialect

The Ivatan dialect sounds very different to my ears. Its not quite like any dialect that I've heard. But one thing I noticed about their dialect is that it seems to be infused with the word God. Here are sample phrases:

Dios mamajes - Thank you. Literal translation: God will repay you.
Kapian ka pan Dios - Good Morning. Kumusta ka? Literal translation: Nasa atin ang Dios
Dios machivan - Goodbye. Literal translation: God be with you.

Did you notice the beautiful translation of these ordinary phrases? For me, it was purely a linguistic bliss. It tells a lot about the simple faith of these ordinary folks and their unshaking belief in the Divine Being.

I had a eureka moment when I went to mass last Sunday. I did not understand any word since the mass was in the local dialect. Fortunately, the priest spoke in Tagalog for the homily. But during the singing of the Our Father which was in Ivatan, I sang along with them using the English version. I noticed that even if I did not understand their dialect, they put the same emphasis on the same words so I still understood them. It amazed me to realize how universal our faith is. We might come from different geographical backgrounds and worship with different dialects but we still share one faith and worship one God and that is enough to unite us in this journey.

The Ivatan People

Another thing which I observed in Batanes was that everybody was working! During mornings, I didn't see anybody just loitering around doing nothing. They're a bunch of hardworking people who needs to use their muscles (read: magbanat ng buto) in order to earn a living and provide for their families. But they also know how to have fun and relax in the afternoon. I was surprised to note that they had a huge baseball field and they were actually playing baseball, not basketball. Pretty sophisticated for a small town like Basco.

The Ivatans are also goodnatured and to prove that point, Basco has zero crime rate. Sarap siguro ng buhay ng mga pulis dun! ;) We actually met a police officer who was tasked to accompany one tourist as he goes around Basco. See, wala na talaga silang magawa.

The Delicacies

'Tis for a fact that I gained several pounds during my 3-day stay in Batanes. Thanks to the gastronomic Ivatan meal that our guide usually prepares for us. A traditional Ivatan meal usually consists of ovod balls (meatballs made of ground pork and banana heart or even trunk), lungis (pork adobo) and pako salad (fern). Of course, our Batanes food trip experience would not be complete without a taste of their famous coconut crabs. Where can I get the courage to resist that? ;p

Day 6 (5 June 2011)

2011-06-07T03:00:00.001-07:00

Today, I am grateful for the free dinner and the chance to touch a family's life by sharing my firedancing talent.

Day 5 (4 June 2011)

2011-06-07T02:55:00.000-07:00

Today, I feel so alive! Every cell of my body is a-buzz. Atop a mountain which is several thousands of feet above sea level, I felt closer to heaven and free. This majestic scenery will remain etched in my memory for eternity. Even if I was hammered by a gigantic wave which gave me scratches and bruises, I'm just grateful to be alive!

Day 4 (3 June 2011)

2011-06-07T02:53:00.000-07:00

Today, I am grateful for the safe flight to Batanes. I can't believe I'm finally here and it was worth every peso. God must have spent more time in creating this place because its truly breathtaking.

Preparing for Dream No. 6: Batanes Escapade

2011-06-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

This will be a quick post since I'm making good on my promise to update you on my journey towards accomplishing the 30 Things to Do Before I Turn 30 list. Tomorrow, I'm finally going to Batanes. I just realized how much I wanted to reach this place since I've mentioned it three times in this blog - here, here and here.

I'll tell you more about it after I've explored my dream destination. Gotta go!

Day 3 (2 June 2011)

2011-06-02T05:31:00.000-07:00

Today, I am grateful for the gift of family. We may not be a perfect family but this is the only family I've got and its perfect enough for me. Being the eldest, the responsibilities may sometimes get the best of me. But if that's what it takes to keep this unit intact, then I'd gladly embrace it with all my heart.

Day 2 (1 June 2011)

2011-06-01T02:40:00.000-07:00

Today, I am grateful for my mother's wake up call every morning. She ensures that I get out of my bed so that I wouldn't oversleep (which I usually tend to do). I realize that not everybody has this chance so I might as well enjoy the love and attention.

Day 1 (31 May 2011)

2011-05-31T04:06:00.000-07:00

I am grateful for friends who are willing to listen to my stories no matter how trivial. ;p

End of the World.

2011-05-20T23:59:00.000-07:00

Today, 21 May 2011, marks the end of the world according to various religious groups. So, I might as well blog about my world-ender thoughts before I get blown out of this planet. There's an old saying that goes, "There are only two things that are certain in life: death and taxes." Well, I know I've paid my fair share of taxes but confronting the possibility of death is something that I have not fully embraced. The idea has crossed my mind several times but I have not reached the point where I can declare with full conviction that I've accomplished my purpose and my lease contract here on Earth maybe terminated.

Am I ready to meet my Creator? Not yet, but who am I to disagree with His infinite wisdom. But if my only purpose in life was to support my younger siblings through their college education - then I would say that I've accomplished that and more. I've taught them how to fish and even teach other people how to fish. I guess that's one of the lessons that I needed to learn during this lifetime - being grateful for the blessings that I've received and sharing these blessings with other people. If only everybody can do that, then I don't think we need to fear the end of the world. It would only mean the ending of one chapter and the beginning of an even more exciting journey. ;)

Tara na, Biyahe Tayo!

2011-05-20T11:02:00.000-07:00

Nope, this is not an original idea. I got this from Anna Oposa's blog. We're not really friends but her posts are inspiring so I already linked her to my blog. I don't think she knows but I'm giving her the credit for this one. I'd also like to cross out every place or activity here so that nobody would doubt me when I exclaim - ANG GANDA NG PILIPINAS! And I've got this song as proof because I've visited all of the places listed here. That's what methinks ;)

Ikaw ba'y nalulungkot
Naiinip, nababagot?
Ikaw ba'y napapagod
Araw gabi'y puro kayod?

Buhay mo ba'y walang saysay
Walang sigla, walang kulay?
Bawa't araw ba'y pareho
Parang walang pagbabago?

Tara na, biyahe tayo
Kasama ang pamilya
Barkada at buong grupo
Para mag-enjoy nang todo.

Halika, biyahe tayo,
Nang ating makita
Ang ganda ng Pilipinas
Ang galing ng Pilipino.

Napasyal ka na ba
Sa ~~Intramuros~~ at ~~Lunet~~a
~~Palawan~~, ~~Vigan~~ at Batanes
~~Subic, Baguio at Rice Terraces~~?

Namasdan mo na ba
Ang mga vinta ng Zamboanga
Bulkang Taal, ~~Bulkang Mayo~~n
~~Beach ng Boracay at La Union?~~

Tara na, biyahe tayo
Mula Basco hanggang Jolo
Nang makilala ng husto
Ang ating kapwa-Pilipino.

Halika, biyahe tayo,
Nang ating makita
Ang ganda ng Pilipinas
Ang galing ng Pilipino.

From city to city,
Seven thousand and a hundred plus islas
Sa mahal kong Pilipinas
~~Luzon,~~ ~~Visayas~~, ~~Mindanao~~ ating puntahan.
Huwag maging dayuhan sa sariling bayan!

Nasubukan mo na bang
Mag-rapids sa Pagsanjan
Mag-diving sa Anilao
Mag-surfing sa Siargao?

Natikman mo na ba
Ang ~~sisig ng Pampanga~~
~~Duriang Davao~~, Bangus Dagupan
~~Bicol Express~~ at Lechong Balayan?

Tara na, biyahe tayo,
Nang makatulong kahit pano
Sa pag-unlad ng kabuhayan
Ng ating mga kababayan.

Halika, biyahe tayo,
Nang ating makita
Ang ganda ng Pilipinas
Ang galing ng Pilipino.

Nakisaya ka na ba
Sa Pahiyas at Masskara
Moriones at Ati-Atihan
Sinulog at Kadayawan?

Namiesta ka na ba
Sa Peñafrancia sa Naga
~~Umakyat sa Antipolo~~
Nagsayaw sa Obando?

Tara na, biyahe tayo
Upang ating matamo
Ligaya at pagkakaibigan
Kaunlaran, kapayapaan.

Halika, biyahe tayo,
Nang ating makita
Ang ganda ng Pilipinas
Ang galing ng Pilipino.

30 Things to Do before I turn 30

2011-05-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

I've been toying with this idea in my head for several months and I've started compiling this list since 13 October 2010. Now, I decided to post it here to remind me of my goals for the next two years (more or less) Some are mundane, others are sumkinda philantrophic while the rest are surefire ways to die before I turn 30. haha!

1. Celebrate a birthday with the orphans
2. Deliver a commencement speech
3. DIVE!
4. Bungee jump (head first)
5. Go to El Nido and see a pawikan and even an eagle
6. Go to Batanes and sleep in the "bahay na bato"
7. Have my photo taken with the donsols of Sorsogon
8. Put up a new business (probably the tutorial school)
9. Climb Mt. Kinabalu
10. Learn ow to take underwater photographs (relate to No. 3)
11. Take up bellydancing lessons
12. Celebrate a birthday with the elderly
13. Run a full marathon (42k)
14. Travel abroad - alone
15. Learn how to drive
16. Learn poledancing
17. Kiteboarding!
18. Ride a hot air balloon
19. Graduate from lost school
20. Take and pass the BAR!
21. Manage the landscaping business
22. Surf in Bali
23. Get myself a decent boyfriend ;)
24. Buy a car
25. Visit all ASEAN member countries
26. Bring the whole family to Hongkong
27. Climb Mt. Pulag
28. Skydive!
29. Watch a movie alone
30. Embark on a personal retreat on my 30th birthday to do some real soul searching ;)

Yay! Now, I have 30 great reasons to look forward to my 30th year on this planet. I hope that by then I would have accomplished all these things and more! Wish me luck! ;p

P.S.
After I finish doing one task, I promise to devote an entire entry about it as proof that I really did it and as the cliche goes, lived to tell the tale, or rather, blog about the tale. :D

speechless. thoughtless. meaningless.

2011-05-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

Here I am again, feeling the urge to write but I could not jot down even a decent sentence. I don't know what has gotten to me these days. I guess I'm just getting bored with all this free time. Hey, I'm not complaining. I just wish I could do something more productive during this short break. But the perennial bout of procrastination is crippling me. If you must know, I've got more or less ten pending articles in my drafts box. I can't even finish a single one. Haay. I gotta get the drive back before the summer break is over.

My Amnesia Girl meets Malcolm Madness

2010-12-03T03:56:00.000-08:00

According to Wikipedia, Post-traumatic amnesia (PTA) is a state of confusion that occurs immediately following a traumatic brain injury (TBI) in which the injured person is disoriented and unable to remember events that occur after the injury.

Inspired by the mushy quotable quotes from Amnesia Girl last night, I came up with my own list of pick-up lines to say to the apple of your eye.

Mahal Kita Kasi (The Lost School Version)

1. Supreme Court ka ba? Gusto ko kasing umapela sayo eh.
2. CA ka ba? May appeal ka kasi sa akin.
3. Rules of Court ka ba? Gusto ko kasing i-memorize ang features mo kaso di ko magawa.
4. Empleyado ka, empleyado din ako kaya we have the right to unionize!
5. Writ of habeas corpus ka ba? Kasi I want you to show me your body.
6. Alam mo, gusto kong magfile ng forcible entry laban sayo kasi gumamit ka ng FISTS para ma-possess ang puso ko.
7. Jus cogens ba tayo? Kasi tanggap na tayo ng lahat ng tao.
8. Alam mo, gusto kong magfile ng unlawful detainer laban sayo. Kasi dati may karapatan ka sa akin pero ngayon wala na. WALA!
9. May original jurisdiction ka ba? Kasi may notice ang appeal mo sa akin.
10. Civil procedure ka ba? Ginugulo mo kasi ang utak ko.

Moving out... Moving in

2010-11-27T09:10:00.000-08:00

Yep, I'm finally moving out of my comfort zone. I'm taking a giant leap towards full independence by renting my own house and living all by my lonesome self. Sounds scary, yeah, but I'm pretty excited about this big move. Its about time to spread my wings and deal with all those things that grown-ups usually deal with like paying the monthly rent, managing the bills, cleaning the house, etc.

Throughout my adult life, I've been surrounded by people. Roommates, housemates, siblings. I actually enjoy it because I'm a sociable person. ;p But lately, I've been having some space issues. I feel like I needed something or someplace to call my own and not co-owned. Thus, the search for the new apartment began. It was a move which earned the support of my siblings since they were also going through those issues. Although they won't be staying with me for awhile since they still have to finish the academic year at the dorm, at least they'll have someplace to go to during weekends.

And tonight is my last night in this house in Maginhawa which has been my home for more than four years. I've had a lot of good times here with my housemates and I'm definitely gonna miss this place. But I know I have to do this. I have to be proactive about this quest for independence. ;)

Tomorrow is a new day, in a new house, with new neighbors and new experiences.

Let's get it ON!!!

Eager for December

2010-11-04T10:00:00.000-07:00

Flash Report: 80 days before Christmas! (that was the stats when I started writing this entry)

I can't wait to celebrate Christmas with the whole extended Manlangit family. Its becoming quite a tradition which everyone looks forward to. And this December, we have scheduled several trips. We'll celebrate our Mama's birthday in Cebu then move on to Bohol the day after so that we can try the E.A.T. Danao Adventure. I can't wait to try The Plunge. This has gotten me uberly excited for the holidays.

However, there has been a recent fiasco in the family. My nanay (lola) suffered a mild stroke and she had to be rushed to the hospital. This was the second time that she had to be admitted. Before her, it was my tatay (lolo) who was hospitalized. I can't bear the thought of spending Christmas without my Nanay and Tatay or any family member for that matter. That's why I always include them in my prayers and I hope you do too.

For me, Christmas will always be about the love for family and spending quality time with each other. We always make it a point to gather during holidays because that's the only time that we'll see the rest of the clan. And I'm telling you, the party can get very rowdy and boisterous. To give you a glimpse of how our gathering looks like, here are some photos from last year's party.

Overjoyed recipient of our pail-ful of Christmas goodies.

As the famous jingle goes, give love on Christmas day! But it would be quite disastrous on our pockets if we'll give a gift to every family member so me and my cousin started a tradition of giving gifts to each family instead of individually. We started with a basin, then a pail. This year, we might just be able to fill up a drum. Of course, generous sponsors are always welcome.(",)

Manlangit family

We begin our Christmas celebration with the traditional mass since we must not lose sight of the real reason for this joyous occasion - the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. As one family, we gather and give thanks to God for granting us another year to celebrate life and love.

And now, let the games begin!

Onion dance by my beloved parents

'Parent and son/daughter' newspaper dance

Catch the dragon's tail

Candle blowing - Tita v. Mama edition

Showing Off No. 1

family peekchur

The day after Christmas outing in our very own secluded waterfalls


Showing Off No. 2 (you know I could never resist heights

family peekchur again ;)

Excited na ba kayo? :)

The Balut Effect

2010-10-06T06:39:00.000-07:00

One night, I had this crazy impulse to have balut for dinner. I don't know what prompted me to do so because I'm not very fond of eggs. But these past few days, I've been having simple cravings like sardines with calamansi, red egg with onion and tomatoes and the flavor of the night is the classic balut. Honestly, I cannot remember the last time I ate balut. Maybe that's why I was longing for it because I wanted a taste of its salty soup sans the sisiw. I've never ever tried, even attempted, to eat the sisiw part because it completely grosses me out. To satisfy my craving, I bought one balut in Philcoa. Even my housemates thought I was acting weird since I was not really the type who eats balut for dinner. But I was dead set on satisfying my craving and I'm glad I did. :) Well, I still cannot swallow the sisiw part but at least I can eat the yellow part and sip the soup. Late in the evening, I realized that the balut served as an upper for me since I was able to stay awake until the wee hours of the morning. So, my little experiment worked. I think balut would be a better substitute for coffee whenever I need to stay energetic in order to cram for an exam. Now, that would be a nice tagline for lost students:

Wanna have enough balls to ace an exam? Eat BALUT!

The Deafening Silence

2010-09-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

Last week, I attended a forum lobbying for the signing of the Convention on the Enforced Disappearances. I saw a poster in Malcolm advertising the event and the it was supposed to be the launching of a documentary entitled Unsilenced by Mr. King Marc Baco. I was amazed because King was may dormmate in Molave and back then, he was already into filming short films which was the beginning of a tradition in the dorm. Anyway, to show my unwavering support, I promised him that I would attend the event. Little did I know that the issue about enforced disappearances was closer to home than I originally thought. The documentary featured six workers of PICOP who were randomly picked up by agents of the state and summarily executed without any semblance of due process. However, no trace of their whereabouts can be found. The documentary also depicted the grief and anguish felt by the family members who just wanted to see the corpses their loved ones so that they can bury them properly.

The case of enforced disappearances is a different animal altogether from the usual crimes punished by the Revised Penal Code since there's an element of the unknown. The family members will have to deal with the uncertainty of the plight of the desaparecidos. There will never be any closure on their part and thus prolonging their agony. According to a human rights lawyer who delivered a speech during the forum, humans are usually born, they live, and then they die but they don't just disappear from the face of the earth. To add insult to the injury, the agents of the state even deny the existence of the person. There is therefore a need to define this crime in order to address the lacuna in the law.

Now, how did this experience impact my present disposition? It strengthened my resolve to continue running this race and finish it so that I'll be able to help these people in a more concrete way. For now, all I can do is to heed their advocacy and participate in their awareness campaign by drafting a Senate resolution urging the President to sign and ratify the Convention on Enforced Disappearances. One baby step at a time and we'll eventually put an end to this deafening silence.

Here's the documentary.

Forgetful soul

2010-08-19T21:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, our Dean posed this question in his facebook wall which merited a lot of comments:

Is the ability to believe in a transcendent being [Being/God] inherent in human beings; or is it a skill that can be nurtured?

I can't help but be struck by one of the comments from a certain Ferdie:

I gather from a certain belief system that it is inherent. But the soul forgot it is a soul because of human being's preoccupation with the body and the material things the body desires. Nurturing means recovering the awareness that a human being is a soul--soul awareness. And all souls connect to a Supreme Soul, who is their father. Prayer or meditation focuses on remembering oneself as a soul. Am still grappling with this beautiful thought. There is logic in it, though it is said this question is not in the realm of Logic.

A supposed evidence of inherentness of belief in a transcendent being is the constant yearning for peace; one way or the other, one time or another, the human being seeks peace, a moment of calm, a moment of serenity--is it not...? But while seemingly so human, yearning for peace is inherent in us because the soul--which has been forgotten to be the eternal essence of a human being--has its main attribute to be peaceful. It is said that when one seeks peace, peace of the inner self actually, it is the human being on its way to self-awareness that it is a soul, and that the soul is connected to a transcendent supreme soul. It has been there all along, only forgotten. In moments of crises, the soul remembers itself, and its connection to the Transcendent. But the problem is, why am i agnostic? That is the question that i continue to grapple with.

Why am in lost school?

2010-08-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

After reading this article, I wanted to get out of lost school asap. ;) But sanity prevailed and I remembered my reason for being here in the first place - and that is to be a productive member of society. To be able to affect other people's lives in a concrete way. To use the skills I learned in the classroom to effect some much-needed changes in society.

I say, kudos to this student who realized early on to be critical of her surroundings and managed to deliver it eloquently! ;)

Valedictorian Speaks Out Against Schooling in Graduation Speech

Here I stand

There is a story of a young, but earnest Zen student who approached his teacher, and asked the Master, "If I work very hard and diligently, how long will it take for me to find Zen? The Master thought about this, then replied, "Ten years . ." The student then said, "But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast -- How long then?" Replied the Master, "Well, twenty years." "But, if I really, really work at it, how long then?" asked the student. "Thirty years," replied the Master. "But, I do not understand," said the disappointed student. "At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that?" Replied the Master, "When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path."

This is the dilemma I've faced within the American education system. We are so focused on a goal, whether it be passing a test, or graduating as first in the class. However, in this way, we do not really learn. We do whatever it takes to achieve our original objective.

Some of you may be thinking, "Well, if you pass a test, or become valedictorian, didn't you learn something? Well, yes, you learned something, but not all that you could have. Perhaps, you only learned how to memorize names, places, and dates to later on forget in order to clear your mind for the next test. School is not all that it can be. Right now, it is a place for most people to determine that their goal is to get out as soon as possible.

I am now accomplishing that goal. I am graduating. I should look at this as a positive experience, especially being at the top of my class. However, in retrospect, I cannot say that I am any more intelligent than my peers. I can attest that I am only the best at doing what I am told and working the system. Yet, here I stand, and I am supposed to be proud that I have completed this period of indoctrination. I will leave in the fall to go on to the next phase expected of me, in order to receive a paper document that certifies that I am capable of work. But I contest that I am a human being, a thinker, an adventurer - not a worker. A worker is someone who is trapped within repetition - a slave of the system set up before him. But now, I have successfully shown that I was the best slave. I did what I was told to the extreme. While others sat in class and doodled to later become great artists, I sat in class to take notes and become a great test-taker. While others would come to class without their homework done because they were reading about an interest of theirs, I never missed an assignment. While others were creating music and writing lyrics, I decided to do extra credit, even though I never needed it. So, I wonder, why did I even want this position? Sure, I earned it, but what will come of it? When I leave educational institutionalism, will I be successful or forever lost? I have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests because I saw every subject of study as work, and I excelled at every subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning. And quite frankly, now I'm scared.

John Taylor Gatto, a retired school teacher and activist critical of compulsory schooling, asserts, "We could encourage the best qualities of youthfulness - curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for surprising insight simply by being more flexible about time, texts, and tests, by introducing kids into truly competent adults, and by giving each student what autonomy he or she needs in order to take a risk every now and then. But we don't do that." Between these cinderblock walls, we are all expected to be the same. We are trained to ace every standardized test, and those who deviate and see light through a different lens are worthless to the scheme of public education, and therefore viewed with contempt.

H. L. Mencken wrote in The American Mercury for April 1924 that the aim of public education is not "to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence. ... Nothing could be further from the truth. The aim ... is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the United States."

To illustrate this idea, doesn't it perturb you to learn about the idea of "critical thinking." Is there really such a thing as "uncritically thinking?" To think is to process information in order to form an opinion. But if we are not critical when processing this information, are we really thinking? Or are we mindlessly accepting other opinions as truth?

This was happening to me, and if it wasn't for the rare occurrence of an avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this ostensibly sane place really is.

And now here I am in a world guided by fear, a world suppressing the uniqueness that lies inside each of us, a world where we can either acquiesce to the inhuman nonsense of corporatism and materialism or insist on change. We are not enlivened by an educational system that clandestinely sets us up for jobs that could be automated, for work that need not be done, for enslavement without fervency for meaningful achievement. We have no choices in life when money is our motivational force. Our motivational force ought to be passion, but this is lost from the moment we step into a system that trains us, rather than inspires us.

We are more than robotic bookshelves, conditioned to blurt out facts we were taught in school. We are all very special, every human on this planet is so special, so aren't we all deserving of something better, of using our minds for innovation, rather than memorization, for creativity, rather than futile activity, for rumination rather than stagnation? We are not here to get a degree, to then get a job, so we can consume industry-approved placation after placation. There is more, and more still.

The saddest part is that the majority of students don't have the opportunity to reflect as I did. The majority of students are put through the same brainwashing techniques in order to create a complacent labor force working in the interests of large corporations and secretive government, and worst of all, they are completely unaware of it. I will never be able to turn back these 18 years. I can't run away to another country with an education system meant to enlighten rather than condition. This part of my life is over, and I want to make sure that no other child will have his or her potential suppressed by powers meant to exploit and control. We are human beings. We are thinkers, dreamers, explorers, artists, writers, engineers. We are anything we want to be - but only if we have an educational system that supports us rather than holds us down. A tree can grow, but only if its roots are given a healthy foundation.

For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened. You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical, and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand that the excuse, "You have to learn this for the test" is not good enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but focus more on learning rather than getting good grades.

For those of you that work within the system that I am condemning, I do not mean to insult; I intend to motivate. You have the power to change the incompetencies of this system. I know that you did not become a teacher or administrator to see your students bored. You cannot accept the authority of the governing bodies that tell you what to teach, how to teach it, and that you will be punished if you do not comply. Our potential is at stake.

For those of you that are now leaving this establishment, I say, do not forget what went on in these classrooms. Do not abandon those that come after you. We are the new future and we are not going to let tradition stand. We will break down the walls of corruption to let a garden of knowledge grow throughout America. Once educated properly, we will have the power to do anything, and best of all, we will only use that power for good, for we will be cultivated and wise. We will not accept anything at face value. We will ask questions, and we will demand truth.

So, here I stand. I am not standing here as valedictorian by myself. I was molded by my environment, by all of my peers who are sitting here watching me. I couldn't have accomplished this without all of you. It was all of you who truly made me the person I am today. It was all of you who were my competition, yet my backbone. In that way, we are all valedictorians.

I am now supposed to say farewell to this institution, those who maintain it, and those who stand with me and behind me, but I hope this farewell is more of a "see you later" when we are all working together to rear a pedagogic movement. But first, let's go get those pieces of paper that tell us that we're smart enough to do so!

Of birthdays and surprises

2010-08-08T23:10:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday morning, we prepared a mini-surprise for my younger brother Thor who turned 21. The birthday breakfast consists of tuna spaghetti, bread and his billiard-inspired birthday cake which I didn't allow them to eat so that it would last for the whole day. hehe :)

A brief nostalgic feeling overcame me. I can't help but remember the year I turned 18 in the same dorm. Nah, I didn't have a grand celebration but my parents managed to surprise me. I suspected that they had something up their sleeves when they kept asking me what time would I be going back to the dorm. I initially thought they were coming to Manila to celebrate my birthday with me. Now, that would've been a wonderful surprise. Alas, they had other things in mind. I'm not sure if you're familiar with LBC's Sing-a-gram (or I think that's the name of the promo). Anyway, if you avail of this promo, LBC would send an agent to render a personalized "harana" for the recipient plus a birthday card. But wait, there's more. This agent brought his very own jurassic karaoke with him to the dorm lobby and started belting out this song:

Dis song is espeysyaly dedikeyted to the birtdey celebrant - Duna.
Shey maybe da peys I can't forgeyt
A trace of pleysyur or regreyt
Maybe my treysyur or da price I hab to pay
Shey maybe da song that summer sings
Maybe da chill dat autumn brings
Maybe a hundred different things
Within da meysyur of da day
Shey, oh shey!

Imagine my mortification when I heard his pronunciation. After the performance, I just wanted the earth to swallow me. Many dormers witnessed that event including the dorm manager. But I had to be a good sport and thank the singing agent for his heartfelt harana. Sana di naman siya mawalan ng trabaho sa ginawa niya.

T'was a memorable surprise indeed. As the saying goes, its the thought that counts! :)

I have a dream within a dream within a dream

2010-08-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

Nope, I'm not gonna talk about Inception although for the record, I'm still NOT over it. ;) I'm gonna talk about this dream, this vision of mentoring a community of students who will also mentor and tutor younger pupils. This business will allow me to network with other like-minded individuals who have the same dream. This idea has got me pumped up and I want to start it as soon as I link up with two of my future partners in this venture. I have a dream and its enough to put new vigor into my steps and direction in my career life.

Truly, opportunity comes when you least expect it. You'll just have to keep your mind and heart open to respond to it.

“We all have possibilities we don't know about. We can do things we don't even dream we can do.” But if you never dare, you will never know your potential. - Dale Carnegie

Gotta remember those childhood dreams

2010-08-02T22:43:00.000-07:00

I was looking for some inspiration to get me out of this ratty mood I'm in and the best website is TED.com for their ideas which are worth spreading. I chanced upon this video of Randy Pausch about his Last Lecture on really achieving your dreams. It touched me to the core and it was the kind of inspiration which I really needed. He made me laugh and cry throughout the lecture. I even jotted down a few notes while watching the video.

* Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
* Brick walls are there for a reason.
* Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you.
* The best way to teach somebody something is to make them think they're learning something else. (I know of some teachers who teach this way.)
* Never ever lose the childlike wonder.
* When it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, ignore everything they say and pay attention to what they do. (I agree a hundred percent!)

And now, I'll just let Randy Pausch do the talking! (May God bless his soul.)

Killing our Dreams

2010-08-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

This is a post from Paulo Coelho's blog and I'm posting it here to remind me of the symptoms when I'm about to kill my dreams. At the end of this brief life, may I be able to declare St. Pauls' words in 2 Timothy 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith".

The first symptom of the process of our killing our dreams is the lack of time. The busiest people I have known in my life always have time enough to do everything. Those who do nothing are always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do. They complain constantly that the day is too short. The truth is, they are afraid to fight the Good Fight.

The second symptom of the death of our dreams lies in our certainties. Because we don’t want to see life as a grand adventure, we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life. We look beyond the walls of our day-to-day existence, and we hear the sound of lances breaking, we smell the dust and the sweat, and we see the great defeats and the fire in the eyes of the warriors. But we never see the delight, the immense delight in the hearts of those who are engaged in the battle. For them, neither victory nor defeat is important; what’s important is only that they are fighting the Good Fight.

And, finally, the third symptom of the passing of our dreams is peace. Life becomes a Sunday afternoon; we ask for nothing grand, and we cease to demand anything more than we are willing to give. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; we put aside the fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when people our age say that they still want this or that out of life. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams – we have refused to fight the Good Fight.

When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go through a short period of tranquility. But the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.
We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves. That’s when illnesses and psychoses arise. What we sought to avoid in combat – disappointment and defeat – come upon us because of our cowardice.

And one day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death. It’s death that frees us from our certainties, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoons

Sharing is Loving

2010-07-30T02:58:00.000-07:00

Pardon the cheesy title but this has been my motto for the past two weeks. Despite the fact that I am going through a career and financial crisis right now, I chose not to dwell on these setbacks but rather focus on my blessings. I realized that I still have a lot to share with other people - my time, my resources, and even my cooking expertise. hehe :) Since I was asked to go on an indefinite leave (refer to previous post), I had more time in my hands which I chose to spend in the kitchen instead of the library. I was able to cook several dishes like spaghetti which I shared with my CG, chicken sotanghon which I shared with my poi friends and housemates, chicken giniling which I shared with Twinx and Mel, fish tinola which I shared with my siblings and of course, my chicken sandwich spread which I shared with Ate Sansu and my officemates. Its always a delight to see the look on their faces. These may not be the tastiest dishes ever but I cooked it with passion. chos! ;)

Crossroads... again

2010-07-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

Here I am again, in a place where I have to decide on which path to choose. I was given the so-called "axe" today. The Boss told me that I wouldn't have to go to work everyday since they're still finalizing the plantilla positions. She gave me the option - whether to stay and wait or go and look for another job. I wasn't shocked by the news but I didn't expect my reaction because I retorted, "Go where?" It showed an utter lack of options. It was like being cornered in a wall with nowhere else to go. I hated that feeling - that sinking feeling of hopelessness as if my life depended on this job. Two years into the job and I've been wanting to leave because I didn't derive any sense of self-fulfillment anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am blessed and privileged to be part of this efficient staff but I always felt that I was not cut out for this kind of job. However, I needed some sense of stability so that I can support my siblings through college so I stayed on. To keep me busy and 'productive', I took up graduate studies and currently, legal studies.

Now, I have to weigh my options. I kept thinking, maybe this is a blessing in disguise. This is fate's way of telling me its time to move on. Pursue my dream job - whatever that is, I already have a vague idea. I wanna do it now while I'm still young and I got so many fresh ideas in my head.

But I know that I also have to be pragmatic with my decision. Two of my siblings are still in college and will be graduating this April. I still have 2.5 years to endure in lost school. If I have to work my ass off to support my studies, I need a job with a somewhat flexible schedule and a decent compensation. These are the things which are keeping me from moving on.

I honestly do not know what to do. But I'm hopeful and positive about this whole set-up. Its the perfect occasion to nudge me out of my complacency. I just keep on the brighter side - now, I'll have more time to catch up on my readings. :) And I would even have an extra time to pursue my advocacies.;)

So, I'm jotting this on my journal with a silent prayer for God to guide me and send me people and opportunities to help me get through this phase.

Kerygma Appearance

2010-07-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

I was stalking myself on the cyberspace when I chanced upon this short article I wrote for the Kerygma magazine way back in October of 2007. I'm posting it here for posterity's sake ;)

This is my Conviction

2010-07-05T23:03:00.000-07:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

— Nelson Mandela, 1994 Inaugural Speech

One Way Ticket to the Blues

2010-06-29T07:05:00.000-07:00

Recently, I realized that this law school phase is a solo journey. Your only friend and enemy is yourself. Its a long and arduous road and you need to be focused on your goal. Let nothing distract you from continuing the race. Don't worry, it'll be worth it in the long run. ;)

Stoked in Calaguas

2010-06-24T08:55:00.000-07:00

I've been putting off this entry for too long but now I need to write to release some steam. The best way to do that is to go down memory lane and reconstruct my fantastic Independence Day weekend (June 12-14) plus the the proper documentation, of course.

Well, t'was the last long weekend before classes start and my Planet Zips friends were inviting me to join them in the Calaguas trip. Initially, I was very excited to join since I thought classes would start on the 15th of June and it would be my last chance to go on a much-deserved beach vacation considering that I wasn't able to do that due to the election circus. However I was bound for a huge disappointment because the College declared that the madness would begin on the 8th. But thanks to the Independence Day holiday, which fell on a Saturday, and to the doggedness of the Dean who felt that it should be celebrated on the day itself, he declared that we won't have classes on Saturday. Yipeee. Its time to party, baby! ;)

Now, I had preconceptions of this trip and I kept my expectations at a minimum. I didn't know much about it and I didn't attempt to inquire about it. I just gave in to the wanderlust in me, always on the search for a new adventure. So, I thought there would only be around 10 companions. Lo and behold, there were 80+ pax who joined the tour. And I thought it wouldn't be very sunny because its already raining (men) in the Metro, but when we arrived there - the sun was shining ever brightly. T'was the perfect weather for the perfect getaway.

Armed with my backpack, water bottle, book (plus cases, sorry I couldn't resist), fully-charged Ipod, and buckets of adventurous spirit - we embarked on that memorable journey.

How can one forget a roadtrip where we flirted with death? I think the driver was too excited to meet the Creator that he didn't respect the idea that its a two-way street and there is such a thing as a counterflow. Fortunately for me, I was too excited to sleep to be overly concerned with this dangerous feat. I hope I could say the same for my vanmates who were hanging on for dear life. ;)

Eight hours later, we had our first glimpse of Mahabang Buhangin. And I tell, it was love at first sight. The powdery-white sand, the seashore which stretched endlessly, the crystal clear water. I knew then that it was the perfect place to calm my tired and restless soul. ;) All in all, it was a fun-filled trip. I even got my first lesson at skimboarding, which looked very easy but it was very difficult to execute. And since my fellow poistas brought gallons of kerosene, t'was enough for us to burn the night away.

Amidst all these beautiful sights, the starry, starry night would remain etched in my mind. It was the perfect opportunity for me to think and sort my thoughts. To a certain extent, I even made amends with myself. I know I chose this road and I have to finish this race. Where it would lead me, I don't know. All I know is that the Creator planted a dream in my heart and I have to overcome all the odds, including these moments of indecision, so that I can persevere in this task. I know that I would be in this world for only a brief moment, so I should make the most out of this life. There should be no room for mediocrity. I must not forget my life mission -

making a positive impact in other people's lives.

In that brief moment and in that faraway island, I had my fleeting taste of paradise here on earth. It was all I needed to recharge and to continue living this life to the full.

Carpe diem!

Postscript:
In case you also want to take that elusive trip to Calaguas, there's an upcoming tour on July 3-4, 2010. Just get in touch with Nano at mariano_balane@yahoo.com or 0927-2508522. It'll be the best decision you'll ever make. Watcha waitin' for? Book now. ;)

Hello Bangkok!

2010-05-26T19:07:00.000-07:00

We finally made it. We pushed through with our travel plans despit the the recent uprising in Bangkok. We arrived last night and a friend from high school picked us up from the airport. Originally, we did not plan on exploring the city since we're going straight to Siem Reap for the Angkor Wat. But my friend, Diana, also wanted to come so we'll have to wait for her to finish her class which means we have one whole day to explore Bangkok. :) I'm so excited to see the temples and learn more about this people's culture. I'll be posting some photos soon and my overall impression of the place. I'm planning to post an update everyday just to remind me of every leg of this eventful journey.

Ciao for now. :)

Tambis

2010-04-29T04:21:00.001-07:00

You know what a tambis is? Its a reddish fruit which is called makopa in tagalog but for us in bisaya, its simply tambis. I was reminded of this fruit when i saw a tree laden with fruits in calumpit, bulacan during today's sortie. I did a doubletake when i saw the tree coz i wanted one. The owner must have noticed because she offered it to mr. Apparently, three kids were already up in the tree and one kid handed me a bunch of tambis. Yey! It was a wonderful surprise and one which i'm truly grateful for.
Haay, the taste of tambis brought back lots of childhood memories. Those carefree days when i also used to climb trees and eat its fruits to my heart's content. All those days spent playing and laughing and frolicking.
Aahh, the simple joys in life. The tambis surprise really made my day.

Whatta loooonnnggg day!

2010-04-29T04:08:00.001-07:00

I'm writing this entry at the back of a truck under the pouring rain and waiting for Miranda's turn to speak at a Nacionalista rally so that we can go home. This has beena very long day. I was already in the office at 5am so that we can start our postering in Bulacan and finish early. Well, we left early but it took us a long time to mount those posters at the rally site. Which means that we are already way behind our schedule. We had to alight and board the truck every kilometer so that we can put up the posters. Haaaay. Super draining. And just when we thought that its time to go home, the boss called for us to stay for the rally and wait for them so that we can load the ladder at the back of a truck. And that's how i ended up in my current situation. As much as i would like to rant and curse, i can't because i perfectly understand the situation. Everybody's under extreme pressure right now and i wouldn't want to add to that. So, all i can do now is wait for this torture to end. I know that some of my officemates have been through worse situations so i must bear this suffering with tolerance. After all, one more week to go and we'll know the verdict.

Pure Imagination

2010-04-27T21:10:00.000-07:00

Last night, I watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007). I don't know if it was the movie or my current emotional state but I was like a psychotic while watching the movie - crying and laughing at the same time. It touched my inner childhood - with all those magical toys and what-nots. I was transported back to the time when I used to believe that fairies would come out from magic roses when they bloom at midnight and that dwarves lived beneath our house. I also loved the movie lines that's why I'm posting it on this blog.

Will I watch it again? Definitely yes.

Mr. Edward Magorium: [to Molly, about dying] When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words.
[pause, walks over to Molly]
Mr. Edward Magorium: I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."
Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.
Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too.
[picks Molly up, sighs heavily]
Mr. Edward Magorium: Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: All stories, even the ones we love, must eventually come to an end and when they do, it's only an opportunity for another story to begin.

Mr. Edward Magorium: 37 seconds.
Molly Mahoney: Great. Well done. Now we wait.
Mr. Edward Magorium: No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.

Eric Applebaum, the Hat Collector: [while narrating] What Mahoney needed was the opportunity to prove to herself that she was something more than she believed.

Mr. Edward Magorium: We must face tomorrow, whatever it may hold, with determination, joy and bravery

As Einstein Saw It

2010-04-23T00:04:00.000-07:00

I'm not an atheist and I don't think I can call myself a pantheist. We are in the position of a little child entering a huge library filled with books in many different languages. The child knows someone must have written those books. It does not know how. The child dimly suspects a mysterious order in the arrangement of the books but doesn't know what it is. That, it seems to me, is the attitude of even the most intelligent human being toward God.

—Albert Einstein

I chanced upon this essay by no less than the great Albert Einstein and I was truly inspired by what he wrote that's why I'm posting it here verbatim.

"How strange is the lot of us mortals! Each of us is here for a brief sojourn; for what purpose he knows not, though he sometimes thinks he senses it. But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people -- first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy. A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving...

"I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves -- this critical basis I call the ideal of a pigsty. The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. Without the sense of kinship with men of like mind, without the occupation with the objective world, the eternally unattainable in the field of art and scientific endeavors, life would have seemed empty to me. The trite objects of human efforts -- possessions, outward success, luxury -- have always seemed to me contemptible.
"My passionate sense of social justice and social responsibility has always contrasted oddly with my pronounced lack of need for direct contact with other human beings and human communities. I am truly a 'lone traveler' and have never belonged to my country, my home, my friends, or even my immediate family, with my whole heart; in the face of all these ties, I have never lost a sense of distance and a need for solitude..."

"My political ideal is democracy. Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized. It is an irony of fate that I myself have been the recipient of excessive admiration and reverence from my fellow-beings, through no fault, and no merit, of my own. The cause of this may well be the desire, unattainable for many, to understand the few ideas to which I have with my feeble powers attained through ceaseless struggle. I am quite aware that for any organization to reach its goals, one man must do the thinking and directing and generally bear the responsibility. But the led must not be coerced, they must be able to choose their leader. In my opinion, an autocratic system of coercion soon degenerates; force attracts men of low morality... The really valuable thing in the pageant of human life seems to me not the political state, but the creative, sentient individual, the personality; it alone creates the noble and the sublime, while the herd as such remains dull in thought and dull in feeling.
"This topic brings me to that worst outcrop of herd life, the military system, which I abhor... This plague-spot of civilization ought to be abolished with all possible speed. Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!

"The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science. Whoever does not know it and can no longer wonder, no longer marvel, is as good as dead, and his eyes are dimmed. It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, our perceptions of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which only in their most primitive forms are accessible to our minds: it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute true religiosity. In this sense, and only this sense, I am a deeply religious man... I am satisfied with the mystery of life's eternity and with a knowledge, a sense, of the marvelous structure of existence -- as well as the humble attempt to understand even a tiny portion of the Reason that manifests itself in nature."

Beds are Burning

2010-04-22T00:11:00.000-07:00

In celebration of Earth Day, I'm listing down taften things that I am doing (which you can do too) in order to minimize my carbon footprint and help save Mother Earth.

1. Wherever I go, I always bring my water bottle with me so that I wouldn't have to buy bottled water or ask for a styro cup to drink from. Tipid na sa bulsa, environment friendly pa.
2. Aside from taking navy showers, I also use the trusty pail and dipper to ensure that the water does not flow freely. Oh, and I make sure that the faucet is completely sealed off before I step out of the bathroom.
3. Whenever I go shopping, I decline the use of plastic bags if I can shove all the things that I bought into my bag.
4. I throw my garbage in its proper place - the trash can. If no trash can is in sight, then I can just put it in my bag pocket. Now, you can just imagine how the inside of my bag looks like. ;)
5. I rarely photocopy my readings, instead I borrow the readings of my officemate who took up the class before me.Through this technique, I've been able to save thousands of pesos.
6. If I need to print something which I don't have to submit to the boss or the professor, I print it on recycled paper.
7.When I leave the office, I ensure that all the electric cords are unplugged. Iwas sunog na, tipid kuryente pa.
8. I replaced the bulb of my desktop lamp with a CFL (compact fluorescent) bulb. It lasts longer and consumes lesser electricity.
9. Turn off the lights when its not in use.
10. Since I don't have a choice, I always use the public transport like jeepneys, tricycles, and light rail trains.

Awareness is the first step in our quest to preserve Mother Earth. We need to be conscious of what we are doing to our surroundings. We are merely stewards of this creation and we need to take good care of it so that the future generation can still enjoy it. With that, I'll be leaving you with this song performed by various artists to promote climate change awareness.

Gradwait (_)

2010-04-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

Nope, its not my graduation...yet! But these past few days, I've attended several graduation ceremonies where Miranda is the guest speaker. Its all part of the job but for me its not a chore because it has been my current source of inspiration. ;) These students are lucky because they have an eloquent and inspiring speaker. As for me, I can barely recall the speech delivered by Vice Presidential candidate Bayani Fernandoduring my own graduation.

Basically, she discusses three points in all her speeches.
1. How to prepare for the board exams
2. How to find a good spouse and build a happy marriage (paki-connect!)
3. How to live a good life

Preparing for the board exams
Here are some reminders which she always emphasize in her speeches. Some of them may sound cliche-ish but they are still very effective when applied.
1. Honesty is the best policy.
2.Cleanliness is next to godliness.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try again

"Concentration is the key to success and the key to concentration is silence."
I tried implementing this technique during my final exams. And I think that losing my cellphone helped me in attaining that level of silence which was needed to concentrate. Well, I don't know the results of my exam yet and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. ;) I hope I'll remember this lesson when I prepare for THE BAR!

Finding a good spouse
According to Miranda, the secret to finding a good spouse is to find someone who has the same moral values as you do. Dapat pareho kayo ng pangarap sa buhay. Kumbaga, magka-wavelength kayo. ;)

Now, I wonder where I can find that elusive person. ;)

Living the good life
After buying your first house and your first car and earning your first million, it will all feel the same. These material riches won't give you genuine happiness. Miranda challenges the students to ponder on the three basic philosophical questions: Who am I? What am I doing here? Where I am going?

Well, they might be too young to be understand the full impact of these questions but I've been asking myself these questions for the past few years.Honestly, I haven't come up with a definite answer although I already have a vague conception of who I am and what I am doing here. But as to where I am going, I'm still undecided. ;) Suffice it to say that I'm still trying very hard to carve my own niche in this imperfect world.

The great adventure of life is to Learn.
The nature of life is to Change.
The purpose of life is to Grow.

Of rallies and circuses

2010-04-13T14:38:00.001-07:00

Last night, I attended my first ever political rally sponsored by the local officials of Valenzuela for the Nacionalista Party. The organizers estimated that they would be able to gather almost 20,000 people into that abandoned field. True enough, the whole area was filled to its full capacity proves that the event was well-organized. But the compliment ends there.

This whole political rally style of campaigning where you gather these people through incentives like cash, free meal, free entertainment and whatever else would motivate them to go - promotes a culture of mendicancy. Para silang naglilimos ng mga campaign materials - shirts, sun visors, ballpens, ballers at kung anu-ano pa. These people are willing to forgo the comforts of their homes and bring their whole family - ate, kuya and baby to the dusty field in exchange for those things.

Then they bring in the clowns/entertainers to provide these people with cheap thrills. The opening act was a mini-skit about a man and his "automated" sculpture who's willing to do anything that the host tells hims to do even if he is asked to go naked in front of all the people, old and children alike.

Those are just some observations from my experience last night. I don't want to get started on the politicians who don't even have a specific platform or even an aspiration to deliver quality public service to the people.

I wonder if this whole debacle will ever end. Its the classic chicken and egg situation. An uninformed electorate will vote for incompetent and even corrupt leaders who wants to bag a government position in order to save enough money for the next election. Maybe this is the reason why there's no effort from these politicians to inform and educate the voters about the real issues and their platforms.

We, the people, deserve the leaders that we vote for. Vote wisely!

Bye E!

2010-03-25T00:56:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday morning, some random pickpocket managed to get his hands into my bag and took my wallet and beloved E71. It was a fleeting incident, I never even noticed it until such time that I had to get my wallet from my bag and pay my fare. That's when I realized that I've been hoodwinked. It wouldn't have bothered me if he just stole my wallet but along with it, he took my phone :( A phone which I bought last November to replace my lost phone. A phone which I've grown to love because it has all the features I wanted - Office functions, PDF reader, camera, radio, wifi... you name it, E has it. ;) I felt dejected when I realized that it was also stolen. I didn't think I could survive without it. But I didn't allow that to get me down. I had too many things on my mind like the upcoming exams for me to worry about that. I figured God must be teaching me a lesson through this experience. Maybe I just had to isolate myself from this material gadgets. The UPSCAn motto comes to mind: Live simply, so that others may simply live. With that, I vowed that it would be my ultimate sacrifice for the Holy week. :)

Now, its been a week since I lost E and I'm surviving. I've grown to savor the "alone" moments when I'm physically and virtually alone because I never feel that when I have a phone since everybody's electronically connected. In retrospect, I had more time to focus on my studies. I only have my wandering thoughts to distract me - nothing else. I remember Miranda's wise words: Concentration is the key to success and the key to concentration is silence.

Maybe this is the lesson that I had to learn and relearn. Thanks to E!

Failure and Imagination

2010-02-17T19:30:00.000-08:00

This speech has been circulating in the net since 2008 and I've read it several times. But today, I saw the video of that speech and I was really inspired by JK Rowling's message on the fringe benefits of failure and the importance of imagination. Its just a matter of changing one's perspective and attitude about failure. Some might see it as a major setback but it could probably be a blessing in disguise. And Ms. Rowling is certainly not a stranger to failures. She had to go through several failures to get to her superstar status.

On to the speech...

J.K. Rowling Speaks at Harvard Commencement from Harvard Magazine on Vimeo.

Text as delivered follows.
Copyright of JK Rowling, June 2008

President Faust, members of the Harvard Corporation and the Board of Overseers, members of the faculty, proud parents, and, above all, graduates.

The first thing I would like to say is ‘thank you.’ Not only has Harvard given me an extraordinary honour, but the weeks of fear and nausea I have endured at the thought of giving this commencement address have made me lose weight. A win-win situation! Now all I have to do is take deep breaths, squint at the red banners and convince myself that I am at the world’s largest Gryffindor reunion.

Delivering a commencement address is a great responsibility; or so I thought until I cast my mind back to my own graduation. The commencement speaker that day was the distinguished British philosopher Baroness Mary Warnock. Reflecting on her speech has helped me enormously in writing this one, because it turns out that I can’t remember a single word she said. This liberating discovery enables me to proceed without any fear that I might inadvertently influence you to abandon promising careers in business, the law or politics for the giddy delights of becoming a gay wizard.

You see? If all you remember in years to come is the ‘gay wizard’ joke, I’ve come out ahead of Baroness Mary Warnock. Achievable goals: the first step to self improvement.

Actually, I have wracked my mind and heart for what I ought to say to you today. I have asked myself what I wish I had known at my own graduation, and what important lessons I have learned in the 21 years that have expired between that day and this.

I have come up with two answers. On this wonderful day when we are gathered together to celebrate your academic success, I have decided to talk to you about the benefits of failure. And as you stand on the threshold of what is sometimes called ‘real life’, I want to extol the crucial importance of imagination.

These may seem quixotic or paradoxical choices, but please bear with me.

Looking back at the 21-year-old that I was at graduation, is a slightly uncomfortable experience for the 42-year-old that she has become. Half my lifetime ago, I was striking an uneasy balance between the ambition I had for myself, and what those closest to me expected of me.

I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do, ever, was to write novels. However, my parents, both of whom came from impoverished backgrounds and neither of whom had been to college, took the view that my overactive imagination was an amusing personal quirk that would never pay a mortgage, or secure a pension. I know that the irony strikes with the force of a cartoon anvil, now.

So they hoped that I would take a vocational degree; I wanted to study English Literature. A compromise was reached that in retrospect satisfied nobody, and I went up to study Modern Languages. Hardly had my parents’ car rounded the corner at the end of the road than I ditched German and scuttled off down the Classics corridor.

I cannot remember telling my parents that I was studying Classics; they might well have found out for the first time on graduation day. Of all the subjects on this planet, I think they would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology when it came to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

I would like to make it clear, in parenthesis, that I do not blame my parents for their point of view. There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you. What is more, I cannot criticise my parents for hoping that I would never experience poverty. They had been poor themselves, and I have since been poor, and I quite agree with them that it is not an ennobling experience. Poverty entails fear, and stress, and sometimes depression; it means a thousand petty humiliations and hardships. Climbing out of poverty by your own efforts, that is indeed something on which to pride yourself, but poverty itself is romanticised only by fools.

What I feared most for myself at your age was not poverty, but failure.

At your age, in spite of a distinct lack of motivation at university, where I had spent far too long in the coffee bar writing stories, and far too little time at lectures, I had a knack for passing examinations, and that, for years, had been the measure of success in my life and that of my peers.

I am not dull enough to suppose that because you are young, gifted and well-educated, you have never known hardship or heartbreak. Talent and intelligence never yet inoculated anyone against the caprice of the Fates, and I do not for a moment suppose that everyone here has enjoyed an existence of unruffled privilege and contentment.

However, the fact that you are graduating from Harvard suggests that you are not very well-acquainted with failure. You might be driven by a fear of failure quite as much as a desire for success. Indeed, your conception of failure might not be too far from the average person’s idea of success, so high have you already flown.

Ultimately, we all have to decide for ourselves what constitutes failure, but the world is quite eager to give you a set of criteria if you let it. So I think it fair to say that by any conventional measure, a mere seven years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless. The fears that my parents had had for me, and that I had had for myself, had both come to pass, and by every usual standard, I was the biggest failure I knew.

Now, I am not going to stand here and tell you that failure is fun. That period of my life was a dark one, and I had no idea that there was going to be what the press has since represented as a kind of fairy tale resolution. I had no idea then how far the tunnel extended, and for a long time, any light at the end of it was a hope rather than a reality.

So why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me. Had I really succeeded at anything else, I might never have found the determination to succeed in the one arena I believed I truly belonged. I was set free, because my greatest fear had been realised, and I was still alive, and I still had a daughter whom I adored, and I had an old typewriter and a big idea. And so rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.

You might never fail on the scale I did, but some failure in life is inevitable. It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.

Failure gave me an inner security that I had never attained by passing examinations. Failure taught me things about myself that I could have learned no other way. I discovered that I had a strong will, and more discipline than I had suspected; I also found out that I had friends whose value was truly above the price of rubies.

The knowledge that you have emerged wiser and stronger from setbacks means that you are, ever after, secure in your ability to survive. You will never truly know yourself, or the strength of your relationships, until both have been tested by adversity. Such knowledge is a true gift, for all that it is painfully won, and it has been worth more than any qualification I ever earned.

So given a Time Turner, I would tell my 21-year-old self that personal happiness lies in knowing that life is not a check-list of acquisition or achievement. Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life, though you will meet many people of my age and older who confuse the two. Life is difficult, and complicated, and beyond anyone’s total control, and the humility to know that will enable you to survive its vicissitudes.

Now you might think that I chose my second theme, the importance of imagination, because of the part it played in rebuilding my life, but that is not wholly so. Though I personally will defend the value of bedtime stories to my last gasp, I have learned to value imagination in a much broader sense. Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity to envision that which is not, and therefore the fount of all invention and innovation. In its arguably most transformative and revelatory capacity, it is the power that enables us to empathise with humans whose experiences we have never shared.

One of the greatest formative experiences of my life preceded Harry Potter, though it informed much of what I subsequently wrote in those books. This revelation came in the form of one of my earliest day jobs. Though I was sloping off to write stories during my lunch hours, I paid the rent in my early 20s by working at the African research department at Amnesty International’s headquarters in London.

There in my little office I read hastily scribbled letters smuggled out of totalitarian regimes by men and women who were risking imprisonment to inform the outside world of what was happening to them. I saw photographs of those who had disappeared without trace, sent to Amnesty by their desperate families and friends. I read the testimony of torture victims and saw pictures of their injuries. I opened handwritten, eye-witness accounts of summary trials and executions, of kidnappings and rapes.

Many of my co-workers were ex-political prisoners, people who had been displaced from their homes, or fled into exile, because they had the temerity to speak against their governments. Visitors to our offices included those who had come to give information, or to try and find out what had happened to those they had left behind.

I shall never forget the African torture victim, a young man no older than I was at the time, who had become mentally ill after all he had endured in his homeland. He trembled uncontrollably as he spoke into a video camera about the brutality inflicted upon him. He was a foot taller than I was, and seemed as fragile as a child. I was given the job of escorting him back to the Underground Station afterwards, and this man whose life had been shattered by cruelty took my hand with exquisite courtesy, and wished me future happiness.

And as long as I live I shall remember walking along an empty corridor and suddenly hearing, from behind a closed door, a scream of pain and horror such as I have never heard since. The door opened, and the researcher poked out her head and told me to run and make a hot drink for the young man sitting with her. She had just had to give him the news that in retaliation for his own outspokenness against his country’s regime, his mother had been seized and executed.

Every day of my working week in my early 20s I was reminded how incredibly fortunate I was, to live in a country with a democratically elected government, where legal representation and a public trial were the rights of everyone.

Every day, I saw more evidence about the evils humankind will inflict on their fellow humans, to gain or maintain power. I began to have nightmares, literal nightmares, about some of the things I saw, heard, and read.

And yet I also learned more about human goodness at Amnesty International than I had ever known before.

Amnesty mobilises thousands of people who have never been tortured or imprisoned for their beliefs to act on behalf of those who have. The power of human empathy, leading to collective action, saves lives, and frees prisoners. Ordinary people, whose personal well-being and security are assured, join together in huge numbers to save people they do not know, and will never meet. My small participation in that process was one of the most humbling and inspiring experiences of my life.

Unlike any other creature on this planet, humans can learn and understand, without having experienced. They can think themselves into other people’s places.

Of course, this is a power, like my brand of fictional magic, that is morally neutral. One might use such an ability to manipulate, or control, just as much as to understand or sympathise.

And many prefer not to exercise their imaginations at all. They choose to remain comfortably within the bounds of their own experience, never troubling to wonder how it would feel to have been born other than they are. They can refuse to hear screams or to peer inside cages; they can close their minds and hearts to any suffering that does not touch them personally; they can refuse to know.

I might be tempted to envy people who can live that way, except that I do not think they have any fewer nightmares than I do. Choosing to live in narrow spaces leads to a form of mental agoraphobia, and that brings its own terrors. I think the wilfully unimaginative see more monsters. They are often more afraid.

What is more, those who choose not to empathise enable real monsters. For without ever committing an act of outright evil ourselves, we collude with it, through our own apathy.

One of the many things I learned at the end of that Classics corridor down which I ventured at the age of 18, in search of something I could not then define, was this, written by the Greek author Plutarch: What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.

That is an astonishing statement and yet proven a thousand times every day of our lives. It expresses, in part, our inescapable connection with the outside world, the fact that we touch other people’s lives simply by existing.

But how much more are you, Harvard graduates of 2008, likely to touch other people’s lives? Your intelligence, your capacity for hard work, the education you have earned and received, give you unique status, and unique responsibilities. Even your nationality sets you apart. The great majority of you belong to the world’s only remaining superpower. The way you vote, the way you live, the way you protest, the pressure you bring to bear on your government, has an impact way beyond your borders. That is your privilege, and your burden.

If you choose to use your status and influence to raise your voice on behalf of those who have no voice; if you choose to identify not only with the powerful, but with the powerless; if you retain the ability to imagine yourself into the lives of those who do not have your advantages, then it will not only be your proud families who celebrate your existence, but thousands and millions of people whose reality you have helped change. We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.

I am nearly finished. I have one last hope for you, which is something that I already had at 21. The friends with whom I sat on graduation day have been my friends for life. They are my children’s godparents, the people to whom I’ve been able to turn in times of trouble, people who have been kind enough not to sue me when I took their names for Death Eaters. At our graduation we were bound by enormous affection, by our shared experience of a time that could never come again, and, of course, by the knowledge that we held certain photographic evidence that would be exceptionally valuable if any of us ran for Prime Minister.

So today, I wish you nothing better than similar friendships. And tomorrow, I hope that even if you remember not a single word of mine, you remember those of Seneca, another of those old Romans I met when I fled down the Classics corridor, in retreat from career ladders, in search of ancient wisdom:
As is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what matters.
I wish you all very good lives.
Thank you very much.

RENT: The Musical

2010-02-15T23:28:00.000-08:00

V-day is the day!

I was finally able to watch the musical which has been haunting me for years. Ever since I heard the song Seasons of Love, I was hooked to Rent. I LOVE everything about it - the music, the lyrics, the characters and the message of the whole production. Carpe Diem! Although its very tragic that Jonathan Larson was never able to witness the masterpiece that he created, I'm sure it has inspired a million lives, including mine. This year, I was invited to watch RENT, live in Manila, on Veeday. I enjoyed and savored every moment of it. And to refresh my memory, I'll be posting all the acts that I love including the lyrics so that I'll just check this post whenever i need my Rent fix.

Seasons of Love
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
moments so dear
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year

In daylight, in sunsets, in midnights,
in cups of coffee, In inches, in miles
in laughter in strife,

In Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life

(chorus)
How about Love
how about love
how about love
measure in love
seasons of love
seasons of love

Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
journeys to plan
Five hundrend twenty five thousand
six hundred minutes
how do you measure the life of a woman
or a man

In truth that she learned
or in times that he cried
In the bridges he burned
or the way that she died

Its time now to sing out
though the story never ends
lets celebrate remember a year
in the life of friends

Finale B (No Day but Today)
MARK
There is no future
There is no past

ROGER
Thank God this
Moment's no the last

MIMI & ROGER
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret or
Life is yours to miss

ALL
No other road no other way
No day but today

WOMEN
I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal

MEN
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare

WOMEN
Is just to be
Without
You
The hand gropes
The ear hers
The pulse beats
Life goes on
But I'm gone

MEN
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way

WOMEN
'Cause I die
Without you
I die without you

MEN
No day but today

ALL
NO DAY BUT TODAY!!

One Song Glory / Light my Candle

The Love Letter

2010-02-14T23:18:00.000-08:00

I saw this article in the Inquirer and it touched me to the core. Its the sweetest thing that a father can do for his daughter. Knowing that he cannot protect her from the joys and pains that loving may inevitably bring, he just had to express his gentle reminders through this letter so that his daughter would be better prepared for the rough ride ahead.

"If you dare to love someone whom you feel in your heart of hearts deserves such love, you will not regret it."

On to the letter...

Dearest Nicole,

Terminal, chronic presumptuousness is an ailment that is very hard to recover from, as the name of the condition implies, and especially as regards your unica hija.

I labor under the misimpression that you will heed the counsel of the years, my counsel, no matter how flawed it is, and that despite the many mistakes I have made in my life, you will find it worth your time to listen to your old man.

One caveat though: On the subject I am about to rant and rave, I am no expert, in fact I have stumbled, risen, and stumbled again, many times over. I have only the benefit of committing the same errors enough times to know that you learn only through your mistakes, and that the race goes not to the one who runs the fastest, but to the one who keeps on running.

** ** ** *
I cannot emphasize enough what I say here now: Love is a powerful thing, it's not just a romantic platitude to say that Love makes the world go round. It is a primeval, elemental force that all the wisest men in the world have not even begun to understand. It is like a potent talisman that unleashes tremendous power to a prudent user, but wreaks havoc to those who do not learn to harness its awesome strength.

Look anak, I'm not trying to be vague, pahocus-pocus sounding, or purposely trying to conjure obscure images of otherworldly powers. Love is very real, and very definitely life-changing. It literally creates and shapes destinies before our very eyes, so fundamentally that we take it for granted and are largely unaware of it.

By posing just three questions that have heretofore always remained at the back of your mind but which you've been itching to ask, I can show you how Love is related to almost all of them.

Probably the most obvious is: Despite the love that existed between your mother and me for many years, why did it not survive beyond your adolescence, for all its vaunted longevity and intensity?

The gift of love that has been generated and nurtured between two people is not enough to accept and allow its existence. To borrow from Peter Parker's Uncle Ben: With great love comes great responsibility. You have to recognize that--especially after the honeymoon phase of a relationship--you progress from the stage of being in love with to loving a person. I'm not saying your mother and I didn't do this, probably we just didn't do it long enough. For that I am truly sorry.

One good lesson though that we can cull from that is: Just because one and the other are destined to be together does not mean they will live happily ever after. In fact, a declaration (and affirmation) of love often signals the start of an adventure in dedicating one's life for your loved one.

I go to the second question you seem to have asked me in gestures and in phrases. Given his rather reckless adventures in romance, is your brother not loving too much, or too hard?

You may laugh at my response, but I think it may be the opposite. What he truly loves, he cannot possess. And to compensate for this, he turns to those companionships that will not reject him. Do you know what I mean? Rather than being rejected by what he considers pure, noble, and ideal, he prefers to dwell within the comfort zone of those who will accept him.

It sounds trite but it is often true. Men offer love for intimacy, while women provide intimacy in return for what they perceive is love. While women learn early enough not to extend expectations based on this reality, men take a little longer. But then again, for some reason, women, who I submit are smarter than men, seem to have a blind spot in matters of the heart. Both for your and my peace of mind, I sincerely hope you learn from the mistakes of your parents and heed the lessons of history.

On that note, you should probably just give your brother a little more time.

Which brings us to a third question, which you have asked in many forms: If it comes to such a point, do I follow my head or my heart, when I feel like falling in love with someone?

The only way I can answer such a query (which I hope doesn't translate to reality in the near future) is notwithstanding all the fear generated in me (and most probably your mother as well), I go so far as to say this: If you dare to love someone whom you feel in your heart of hearts deserves such love, you will not regret it. Scary words from a scared dad, but engraved in stone. Ironically, not all the purest and noblest intentions will assure that you will have made the right choice. For in matters of love, who can tell, until the day we die, whether or not we have made the right choice?

** ** ** **
What I'm trying to say, anak, I guess is that you should not deny yourself the discovery of Life that Love makes possible, but at the same time not be overwhelmed by the crests and troughs of the rollercoaster that is Love. It is one of the truly defining experiences of our existence, but it comes at a great price: Love consumes you, and if you allow it to do so, it overcomes you pitilessly, remorselessly, till you are but an empty shell.

If I sound too passionate about a subject, it is only because I know the time is soon coming when you will fall in love. At least, you can fall back on your father's feeble words.

Promise you'll tell me if and when you do fall in love, OK? I just want to see the guy. Grrr.

I'm very lucky to have such a wonderful daughter like you, I love you and I miss you always.

Please kiss sabay hug your bros for me OK? Happy Valentine's Day!

Papa

(Editor's note: Noel Bautista is Papa to Nicole, who is turning 17. Noel calls himself "an accidental migrant" in Wellington, New Zealand. This is his "love letter" to his daughter.)

On the campaign trail

2010-02-10T06:37:00.000-08:00

The circus has begun!

Its election time once again in good 'ole Philippines. Its a very crucial year since (hopefully) we'll be ending the nine-year reign (which seemed like forever) of the Midget in the Palace. On a personal level, its also crucial because I'm part of it, not as a candidate (never in my wildest dreams), but as one of the Queen Bee's working bees.

Yesterday, we started with the campaign through a motorcade around QC. We were supposed to hook up with the PMP caravan but since we were late, we had to scour the metropolis to join them. The goal is to inform the people that the Queen Bee is running, este, buzzing ;) Since she's a well-known personality, thanks to her famous temper, it was not very difficult for us to introduce her to the people. What made the task challenging was the people that I had to work with. They're a big challenge to my character and I had to consciously control my thoughts. I must not let my temper get the best of me.

Times like these, the Prayer of Serenity comes to mind.
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

The Dream and The Dreamer

2010-02-10T06:29:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time, each one of us had a Big Dream planted by the Dream Giver himself. Along the way, we forgot about this dream and pursued other mundane things. Things that we thought were important and would redefine our lives.But there will always be that void, that nagging "what if" which will bother us. We can only do two things - dismiss it again until its too late to pursue it, or attend to it now and see where the road leads you.

I realize now that I am the only one who can put a cap to my dreams. The general rule is that you can dream of anything you want to achieve. Anything is possible as long as you believe in yourself and the Dream Giver. But and that's a big BUT, you'll have to be willing to work hard to achieve that dream because it would not be handed to you in a silver platter. You might get disappointed, harassed and dejected to the point that you want to abandon the Dream. When that time comes, you should keep the faith. That's the time when you have to remember the gut level reason why you're on that road - to pursue your dreams.

So keep the fire burning and keep on dreaming!

The Unrequited

2010-02-10T06:26:00.001-08:00

You can never impose yourself on other people. They say that falling in love is a decision. But you can't make that decision for the other person. You might have this illusion that the other person also reciprocates your feelings but its just that - an illusion. Do not fool yourself into thinking that he/she might just wake up one morning and have romantic feelings for you. Wake up from that delusion! If you can stop it now, then stop it. If you pursue that road, it will only lead to unnecessary heartaches and you'll both end up hurting each others' feelings.

Let live and let love

2010-02-03T20:03:00.000-08:00

In celebration of the Singles Awareness month, I'm posting this email which a friend sent me. There's actually a lot of truth to this. (*_*)

The reason why people get so sentimental is due to the fact that memories are the only things that don't change.

When everything else does, there are things in life that you can't hold on forever. No matter how much you fight for it sometimes destiny isn't always good, it becomes playful.

When you meet someone you learned to love,you thought that it was destiny who made your paths cross But what if making your paths cross is just a part of the game that the playful destiny create? It only made you realize that in the end the person you thought that was destined for you was not really meant to stay. And that he's only destined to make you feel loved and leave you when you've already fallen.

It's not easy to state a reason when you decide to leave your love.
Some people might think it's just an excuse but some might not actually believe. Some will blame you and some might even be mad at you.

What they don't see is the fact that it hurts you even more to hurt someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt especially when you can't actually state the reason why you have to leave.

You can never own something that was never yours, so let's stop gripping on things we expect to last forever.

Nothing is forever because forever is a lie. Everything is transitory.

While you have something in your hand, put in mind that it's just borrowed so that someday when it's gone, it won't take you eternity just to let go.

When your feelings get strong for someone, its always wise to stop for a while, and give your heart a time to breathe.

A time to use your mind to weigh the situation based on reasons not on emotions. The saddest thing that can happen is when one falls in love while the other wants nothing more than friendship. Love can sometimes be magic but magic can be an illusion.

There would be times that you wish you were limited to certain emotions so that you'll never have to experience pain, never feel betrayed or disappointed, and never get your fragile heart broken.

But the same thing means that you'll never know how to love and be loved in return because the thought of it scares you.

You'll have to make that choice - to have a heart that is whole but numb or a heart that's broken but real.

Someday, we'll all be looking back to those days we learned to love, get hurt, cry and fight.

Maybe when the time comes, we'll be laughing at our dumb selves, realizing how stupid we were to stand up for things we know weren't really meant for us.

Life is what we make it and love makes the world go round.
So let's live, love and take whatever pain and joy it brings.

Pour Vous

2010-02-01T23:06:00.000-08:00

Warning: This is an individualized post intended for myself.

According to Miranda, the key to success is hard work. So if you fail, it means you're not working hard enough. You gotta work harder in order to be successful.

I'm disappointed with myself again. I have no one to blame for my failures except myself. But I can't help but ask if I'm really made for this. Slowly, I'm beginning to discover my strengths and most importantly, my weaknesses. I know the things that I'm good at and the things that I can do just because I've been placed in that situation and I have nowhere else to go but forward. I will never retreat and I will never surrender.

This is a never ending process of self discernment. Its difficult and confusing but its all part of the game. I chose to travel through this path and I must finish it at all costs. I just have to always remember the gut level reasons why I am doing this. I pray that God will give me the strength to endure and persevere.

STRESSED OUT!!!

2010-01-29T03:26:00.000-08:00

There's just too much pressure from all fronts. Pressure from lost school, from work, from my part time job, from the community. Its just too much to handle. Can someone please make it stop?

But I know I just can't break down and cry.

I'm hoping that this too shall pass and I, too, shall pass.

its the climb!

2010-01-22T01:40:00.001-08:00

As I was sorting out my files, I chanced upon this old video of our climb in Mt. Maculot, Cuenca, Batangas and I thought of sharing it with you.

Maculot escapade from Donna Manlangit on Vimeo.

mountain of fears to conquer

3 April 2006
Friendster blog entry

at last.. summer vacation is here! after months of gruelling statistical torture, i’m finally free to go out and enjoy the sun. and that’s exactly what i did last weekend.. i wasn’t ready for the climb in Mt. Maculot, Batangas. mind you, im not a professional mountaineer. i just love the outdoors and i’ve gotten nauseated with the dirty fumes i continually inhale here in the metro. so, i really needed a weekend getaway.. when my roommate and her co-workers from GK Bagong Silang invited me to climb with them, i didn’t hesitate to do so..

we started early, around 5am we were already at the foot of the mountain. it was exhilarating just staring at the clear sky with the twinkling stars up above. but we still had a long day ahead of us. the trail was a 3-hour trek up to the peak and after 3 stations on the way, i was already exhausted.

it gave me a lot of time to think. do i have to go through all these? what motivates people to endure this kind of exhaustion? how far is it to the top? what’s waiting for me out there? can i just give up altogether and wait for my friends instead of continuing the climb? i was all ready to quit. i can’t endure it anymore. but as i look at my companions, huffing and puffing their way up to the top. i felt a surge of energy which came with a challenge - if they can do it, then why can’t I. after hours of trekking and picture takings, we finally reached the top - and woah!!! nothing prepared me for the beauty of the sight - with the serene waters of Taal Lake at the backdrop. it was all worth it.. the calloused hands, the blistered feet, the bruises and the cuts - it was all worth it! i’d go through it again if I have to..

this experience taught me a lot of lessons:
1. Life is a journey. Its not an easy trail - it has its ups and downs. We may not even know where we are going, but one thing’s for sure - something wonderful awaits us at the end of the journey. something way beyond our dreams and we won’t be able to enjoy its whole grandeur it if we don’t finish the journey. there are no shortcuts. each trail, each mistake, each fall, each step would bring us closer to our final destination. we just have to stay focused and keep the faith as we continually hope for the fulfillment of our journey.

2. We are not alone. Although this is an individual journey, we have other people journeying with us. they are there to help us up when we fall, to encourage us to go on, to make us smile or even to make the journey difficult for us. whatever their purpose, they are there for a reason. different people. different reasons. but one purpose.. to reach the top!

3. There is no one trail. there were lots of trails. some climbers even got lost coz they took the wrong turn. that’s the importance of focus. its so easy to get lost and one may not even know that s/he is already lost. it takes a strong sense of direction and vigilance to stay in the right track. do not be complacent and assume otherwise. but one good thing about this is once we’ve realized our mistake, we can always go back, retrace our steps and find the right trail. we might consume a lot of time and extra effort, but everything is worth it once we get to the top. its better to go through all these than continue with the wrong trail and arrive at a miserable dead end.

4. As we started the journey, we had lots of fears.. what if we fall, what if we get lost, what if we collapse due to sheer exhaustion.. so many what ifs, so many fears.. but if we gave in to those fears, we might have missed the precious reward that awaits us at the top. it takes a firm belief in your strengths, trust in your companions, passion in your pursuits and faith in the One who made you for you to finish the race..

at the end of it all, we can proudly say.. its not the mountain that we conquered.. its ourselves!!!

growing old with you

2010-01-19T20:01:00.000-08:00

Everyday, I always pass by the Parks and Wildlife along Quezon Ave. on my way to work. But this morning, I saw a scene which truly moved me even though it was very fleeting. It was a scene of two old people, hunched inside their makeshift home, and talking, as if they were the only two people in the world. It was a true picture of contentment. They may not have much in life but at least, they have each other... and that's the only thing that matters.

a picture of contentment

Nope, that's not the old couple. That's my lolo and lola! (*_*)

part timer

2010-01-19T19:39:00.001-08:00

I received a surprise blessing yesterday. Somebody offered me a part time job! Yeah. :) Although it does not pay very well but its the opportunity to work for this somebody that sealed the deal. She's working on a paper for the United Nations. Oha, big time! ;)

I realized now that I love research. Before you raise your brow, let me set this straight. No, I'm not a certified geek because I still love the outdoors more than I love the library. I savor the search and the feeling of finding that elusive material which you've doggedly looked for. Its a sweet, sweet victory for me. So this project would last for 3-4 months and I am looking forward to learning more about international law within that short span of time.

Wish me lots of luck. ;)

Defying gravity for 2010

2010-01-13T20:16:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was reminded that one of my goals for this year is to update my blog weekly. Alas, I failed to do that for two weeks now. Its not for lack of possible topics because I got loads of things to talk about. The usual culprit is procrastination. Haaay. Okay, I'll make that one of my resolutions for this year
If I can do it now, I'll do it now. (*_*)

To start the year, I'm posting videos of our adventure in Enchanted River. Remember that river which was No. 6 in my Taften dream destinations? Well, I did it. The whole family went there on the second day of the year. Although it took us more than an hour of travel, it didn't disappoint us. The river was truly enchanting! It was nestled in a small grove of trees with limestone formations which contributed to the clear icy bluish waters. Its dark tinge comes from the Pacific sea pouring in from a deep underwater crevice. And when we took our first dip, we never wanted to go back up.

Before I proceed to the climax of this story, I have to confess a secret - I think I was a bird in my past life. Really, I am not afraid of heights and I even have this penchant for heights. At the top of my "things to do before I die list" is to go on a bunjee jumping spree. :) And related to the title of this post, I just couldn't resist the urge of defying gravity by jumping from the roots of the trees surrounding the lagoon into the cool water. Apparently, I was not the only one in the family who had "suicidal tendencies". We all had our chance to take the plunge.

But the second jump was more difficult because it was more or less a 30 feet drop from the water. We had to scale one side of the mountain and offer our bare flesh to the hungry bites of the insects so that we can position ourselves better for the jump. Before I decided to go for it, I resolved that in my lifetime, I don't want to answer a very difficult question - What If? When I look back, I don't want to have any regrets whatsoever. What do I have to lose anyway? So, with that, I strengthened my resolve to jump. The jeers and cheers of the onlookers and my mother's warnings added to the pressure. Well, at that point, there was nothing else to do but JUMP!

And I survived! Did it hurt? Yes. Was it fun? Loads of fun. Will I do it again? Definitely YES!

Fanning the flames

2009-11-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

Ang sabi nila, bawal daw makipaglaro sa apoy.
Ang sabi ko naman, care ko! Masaya eh! I won't let that fear stop me from playing with fire.

Here's another proof of my emerging fascination with pyro...

Burn, baby, burn!

2009-11-19T21:53:00.000-08:00

At last, I was able to live the dream that has been haunting me for months.

Even if it took me quite a while to finish my beginner's module, it was well worth the wait. The experience was exhilarating and terrifying. To be honest, I initially had doubts whether I should go through with it. I think I developed a temporary fear of fire which made me forget all the moves. But after a few turns, I regained my "confidence" and enjoyed the whole experience.

From my firsthand experience, I now understand why this art is called zipping. It was named after the sound of the fire poi when you weave it on air - it creates a zipping sound. :)

Now, I gotta learn more tricks and improve the skill for more entertainment value. Who knows, I might earn a living out of it. hehe

Zipping beneath the Petronas Twin Towers

2009-11-09T23:50:00.000-08:00

Sharing the poi passion in Kuala Lumpur with my great friends - Joms, Esti, Ben and Chada.

I'm so excited to burn, burn, burn!

I Wrote This For You: The Ouroborus I Fell In Love With

2009-10-14T20:56:00.001-07:00

I Wrote This For You: The Ouroborus I Fell In Love With

Shared via AddThis

No More

2009-08-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

1 March 2009

Reflections during the ILC:
Honestly, my reasons of going to the ILC are less than noble.

1. I just wanted to take a break.
2. I wouldn’t want to miss out on all the fun if I don’t join.
3. The fare was cheap, so I should book asap. I’ll think about my schedule later.

These were flimsy excuses, but reasons nonetheless. February came and I found myself trying very hard to arrange my schedule.

I was reminded that I’ve been neglecting my relationship with Him for the longest time. At first, I thought it was okay. I’m sure the Lord would understand. You see, I’m very busy with my work and lost school life. Basta, I’ll make it up to Him one of these days. I didn’t realize that the distance has grown wider. I needed to go back to that inner sanctuary where I can be with Him, talk to Him freely, worship Him, thank Him.
When I worship, I keep this image of a small stream, amidst a grassy field, with a leafy tree beside it. We’d be watching the sunrise together. That is my ultimate idea of Heaven.

Ps. 1:3 He is like a tree beside a brook producing its fruit in due season, its leaves never withering.

I’ve grown tired of going through the motions. I need to experience Him again. I thought I would experience it during the ILC. But the Lord wanted me to learn another lesson. I should never wait for a spectacular event, or a miracle, or a life-changing moment to go back to His presence. I have to make a conscious effort to experience Him in my daily prayer time, through the Bible scriptures, the commentaries, even during my daily commute.

I realized my shortcomings. I still shy away from the challenge of boldly proclaiming God’s word. As talkative as I am, I am not very vocal about expressing my beliefs (my close friends can attest to this.) I’m afraid of being judged. I don’t want to be vulnerable. I’m pressured to exude that aura of independence and strength – so as not to appear vulnerable. I know that these are cowardly reasons for not proclaiming God’s love. But I’ve been using this for the past years. I realize now that this is precisely the challenge that I have to overcome. This has been the devil’s subtle way of hindering me from following God’s way. Now I say, no more! I need to go over that hump. God’s love is like an ever-consuming fire within me which I have to share (or else I’ll burst) so that God can bless other people through me. This should be my ultimate battlecry! 

A Teacher Named Mila

2009-08-11T09:02:00.001-07:00

I'm sure at one point in our lives we'll meet someone who makes a deep and lasting impact. It could be a classmate, officemate, a public figure, a teacher, or even a total stranger.

I can still remember the buckets of tears I shed when I was reading Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie. I also had one such teacher. She was my professor in Hum 1 and more than the lessons in literature, I will always remember her exciting stories about the revolution during the Marcos dictatorship - how she and her husband went underground and lived with the rebels in Mindanao. Sadly, her husband died fighting for his ideals.

After that class, we lost contact. I graduated from the university, but after a one-year hiatus, I was back again to pursue my MA. Until now, I'm still prowling the hallowed halls of Malcolm. But I never forgot Ma'am Mila.

Recently, I was able to reconnect with her through FB and I was elated to know that she remembered me. hehe. I wasn't sure if I made a good impression but if a teacher remembers a student after all these years, then she must have seen something in me.
She has not changed. She still wears the same printed blouses and her smile hasn't changed a bit. And she can still engage us in a very lively discussion about anything under the sun - from academics, to politics, to business and especially faith.

With that meeting, I was reminded to dream again. Filipinos should learn how to become business minded. We have a lot of potential. That's the only way to improve our situation. Its time that we veer away from the employee mindset and start thinking like business owners. One will never become rich by being an employee and working for other people in his lifetime.

Know your gift, nurture it, develop it, and pursue it - then you wouldn't have to work for the rest of your life.

Just like the movie Mila, starring Maricel Morales, I will always treasure the lessons that Ma'am Mila taught me and I hope that someday, I will have a chance to pass it on to others.

Thank you Ma'am.

nuggets of wisdom

2009-08-05T04:06:00.000-07:00

Many people are afraid of growing old. I'm afraid of growing old and boring. Many people are afraid of growing old, alone. I'm afraid of growing old, insane. Many people are afraid of losing their looks. I'm afraid of losing my dreams. Many people are afraid of losing youth. I'm afraid of losing my soul.

When you're 15, 35 seems ancient. When you're 35, 15 seems juvenile. A turnaround in a split second - two decades zoom past and before you know it, it's only a mile to the next millennium. Don't fear age - it's a right of personhood. Don't fear death - it's God's greatest jest. Don't grow old - you don't have to.

Don't date because you're desperate. Don't marry because you're miserable. Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior. Don't separate because you think it's fashionable. Don't drink because you have troubles. Don't gamble because you think winning is inevitable. Don't philander because you think you're irresistible. Most likely, you're not.

Don't associate with people you can't trust. Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend. Don't try to buy your way into the kingdom of God. Don't dictate because you're smarter. Don't demand because you're stronger. Don't sleep around because you think you're old enough and know better. Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder. Don't sell yourself, your family or your ideals. Don't stagnate. Don't regress. Learn a new skill. Find a new friend. Start a new career. Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back. Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right. Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking and you can't afford to have your eggs harvested before the new millennium.

There's always a mad rush to something, somewhere but victory does not always belong to those who finish first. Sometimes, there is no race to be won only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions. You can't always go with the throng who could be wrong. Sometimes, you have to be alone to be enlightened.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless. To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy. To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy. Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons. To keep yourself warm, buy a jacket. In the long-run, it will be less complicated and less costly. To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.

Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid of destructive elements -- abusive friends, nasty habits and dangerous liaisons. Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty. Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family. Be true to yourself. Don't commit when you're not ready. Don't keep others waiting needlessly. Fall in love - it's the greatest thing on earth. But take care and remember, after the fall must come the rise.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it. Say those words. Don't let the moment pass. Do what you must even at society's scorn. Write poetry. Love deeply. Walk barefoot. Hold hands. Dance with wild abandon. Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you. You light up your life. You drive yourself to your destination. No one completes you - except you.

It is true that life doesn't get easier with age. It only gets more challenging. Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love. Pursue your passions. Live your dreams. Don't lose faith in God. Don't grow old. Just grow up.

An article from Sun-Star
By Melanie T. Lim

Poverty inspires creativity

2009-08-04T09:08:00.001-07:00

For the record, I don't really consider myself as poor, or even my family for that matter. Let's just say that we're in a temporary financial setback which I already explained in my previous post(s). I'm learning a LOT from this experience and one of my most treasured lesson is that poverty inspires creativity. You learn to be innovative with your scarce resources since you wouldn't want to waste anything on useless stuff. I was able to prove this "theory" one Sunday.

A typical Sunday for me and my siblings is to go to church then eat lunch together. Since I'm on a tight budget, we usually eat at Lutong Bahay (LB). Its the usual haunt for students and dormers who want to eat homecooked dishes without having to spend too much. Come to think of it, when I was a student I rarely eat at LB since I was on a tighter budget. I can survive a day with just a can of pork and beans and a cup of rice. Anyway, I had a dilemma last weekend because I only had 200 pesos in my wallet. If we were to eat at LB, it wouldn't be enough to feed four mouths for lunch. I was thinking about it since Saturday and when I passed by the mini-market stall in Philcoa, I decided to buy half a kilo of fish so that we can have fish tinola for lunch because its the easiest dish to cook. The next morning, as I was preparing to go to mass I thought of an idea - why don't we just go on a picnic and eat lunch together by the sunken garden or lagoon. Wouldn't that be more enjoyable? When I checked my stock of groceries, I realized I had several canned goods which we can eat for lunch. These dishes would be easier to bring than the tinola. So, I opened two cans of tuna, a can of corned beef and my favorite pork and beans, heat it in the microwave, and cooked pancit canton. Voila! It was an instant feast.

When I informed my siblings that we would be having a picnic, the look on their faces were priceless. I even brought my poi set for some entertainment. Of course, I later informed them that it was part of our austerity measures. ;) I will forever treasure that moment and I'm sure they'll do too. Even if we were just partaking of canned goods and instant noodles, it seemed like a feast fit for a king. Not even a million peso dinner at Le Cirque can beat that ;)

Lesson learned: Happiness is always a choice. No matter how dire the circumstances, as long as you stay optimistic that everything will turn out right in the end, then there's no need to fret. Do not let your faith waver! Find joy in the simplest of things and always be grateful for each blessing.

Youthful Innocence

2009-07-25T23:42:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, I was able to attend my zipping class at the QC circle. Thanks to Prof. Dio who dismissed us earlier than usual, I was able to zip again. And zip I did, although I am really looking forward to the day when I'll be able to burn, burn, burn. Don't get me wrong, I am not a pyromaniac or anything, but I just want to experience the thrill of making loops, twists and turns with a poi on fire. The excitement is killing me.

Anyway, I digress. This post won't be about my poi class, I'll reserve that for another entry. I just wanted to share my experience of watching three children, lying on asphalt, cloud gazing and laughing over a private joke. It made me smile and think about what's waiting for them in the future. They looked so carefree and innocent but its sad to note that those are stolen moments of freedom. They were at the park to beg for money, not to play. At a very young age, they must have come face to face with some of society's evils. But for that one fleeting moment, they can escape reality and be children again - carefree and hopeful.

Convention of Those Wounded In Love

2009-07-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

I got this from Paulo Coelho's blog. It made me laugh because its so true. I wonder how many ratifications this convention got.

At least now I can say, I have lived!

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination : Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.

And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

Re-Affirmation

2009-07-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

AFFIRMATION
Savage Garden

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument
I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands
I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you
I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do
I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem
I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality
I believe that trust is more important than monogamy
I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul
I believe that family is worth more than money or gold
I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair
I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness
I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed
I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists
I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned
I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned
I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side
I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye(Repeat 2)
Until you say goodbye

Stop Going Through The Motions

2009-07-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

Song appreciation time for me. I'm currently hooked to this amazing man's songs and the message that he conveys. This particular song struck me. I want to stop going through the motions. I don't know where this road is leading but I'm pretty sure that the One who's leading me knows the way.

THE MOTIONS
Matthew West
This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break,
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something
'Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,
"What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?"

take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

Being Peter Pan

2009-07-12T23:37:00.001-07:00

Since, I can't get enough of MJ videos, I put my time to good use by transcribing some of his answers which reveal much about his personality. The reason why his performances are so energetic and moving is that he truly lived his songs.

 What they get from me, I get from them. My greatest inspiration comes from the kids. Every song I write, every dance I do, and every poem I write is all inspired from that level of innocence, that consciousness of purity and children have that. I see God in the face of children and I love being around that all the time.

 I am very sensitive to their pain and I’m very sensitive to family, the human condition on that subject. It means a lot to me and I want to help in whatever way I can.

 Always give the best to the company.

 That’s what the world needs now, more love and more heart. Broken homes is an outcry for attention from kids. They want love, they want to be touched, they want to be hugged and held. We need to bond again.

 Peter Pan, to me, represents something that is very special in my heart. He represents youth, childhood, never growing up, magic, flying, everything. I think that children and wonderment and magic what its all about – and to me I never grown out of loving that and taking that as very special. I am Peter Pan in my heart.

 Dancing is all about feeling, not about thinking. So when they count, they’re thinking. Become the base, become the drums, become the guitar.

*This Childhood song speaks a lot about what he's been through.

Making a Dent in the Universe

2009-07-12T23:34:00.000-07:00

Career Advice '08

View more documents from garr.

My Eleven Peso Lesson

2009-07-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

9 July 2009

Tonight, I learned a very valuable lesson – to be grateful despite this financial setback that I am in.

Tonight, I only have eleven pesos left in my wallet. The house rent is overdue and I can’t endure the somewhat “accusing” tone that my housemate said to me. I have to give the weekly allowance to my three siblings. EVen if I gave them my last 200 peso bill yesterday, I know it will not be enough. My parents are also having financial difficulties back home so I know I can’t burden them with all these concerns.

The pressure is building up and I can’t help but cry in order to release all these. Time to let go of all these tears that I’ve been bottling inside me for the past months. I may be crying out of helplessness. This is it, I've hit rock bottom. But one part of me says I’m not helpless. I know I’m still blessed, overblessed even. Money should be the least of my problems. To illustrate, let me enumerate my blessings so that I’ll always be reminded of the reasons for my gratefulness:

I’ve got a loving family who remains united throughout these trials. I get my support from them, and they from me. I always tell my father that at least money is our only problem. Its very easy to find a solution to this financial problem. We are also blessed with excellent health.
I still have a job. Even if I haven’t received my salary for almost three months, I just think of it as forced savings.
I am still able to go to school and enjoy myself in the learning process. I have supportive blockmates who make this lost school experience more bearable.
I’ve got sincere and genuine friends who will never let me down and who manage to keep in touch despite our busy schedules. I can feel their concern for me even if we don’t see each other often.
I finally came to my senses after enduring months of uncertainty. I now understand that it will not work and that I should stop wasting my time for someone who do not appreciate the attention.

The future looks very bright. I have lots to be thankful for. This is just a minor setback. I know I have to learn something from this experience and that is to be grateful for what I have, for the simple blessings in life. But after this, I know I’ll never live in want again. I swear, I’ll never worry about money again. I believe I’ll have an abundance of wealth. But more importantly, I’ll have an abundance of non-material blessings like love of family and friends, contentment, and gratefulness. Money is just material – it wouldn’t last. May this experience remind me of the more important things in life. I will never, ever be fixated on earning money that I’ll forget about the essential things.

Tonight, I celebrate my freedom from these material things because I know I have a very generous God who will never leave me and who showers me with many blessings, essential blessings. I thank you for making me realize this. I know I’ll never live in want again because I know that You know all my needs and You will provide me with it.

MJ's purpose

2009-07-05T23:13:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching Oprah's interview with MJ done in the 90's and i got some wonderful insights into the personality of this amazing man.

O: Do you understand that there's a bigger hand at work here?
MJ: I believe in God, absolutely.

O: Everybody comes to this world for a reason, I think most of us spend our lives trying to figure out what the purpose of our being here is. What do you think your purpose is?
MJ: My purpose? Oh boy, I think my purpose is to give in the best way I can through song, and through dance, and through music. I am committed to my art. I believe that all art has its ultimate goal - the union between the material and the spiritual, the human and the divine. I believe that to be the reason of the very existence of art and I feel I was chosen as an instrument to give music, and love, and harmony to the world, to children of all ages, and adults, and teenagers.

***
I think he was prepared to go. He already fulfilled his purpose in life and he was able to inspire a lot of people of all ages and races to be true to themselves and give their best in everything that they do.

Someday, I wish I would know my purpose too and find my place in the greater scheme of things.

MJ Mania

2009-06-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

He sure touched the lives of many and will always be remembered as the King of Pop!
Sometimes, I wonder if things would've turned out differently for him if he wasn't abused as a child? Or if was born in the 21st century?

Maybe he was just born ahead of his time, like most of the other geniuses. Due to his superstar status, people cannot quite accept the fact that he's just a human being, that he's fallible. Despite that, nobody can deny the fact that he's a musical genius who broke racial and cultural boundaries.

I'm sure whatever his mission was in this world, he fulfilled it 110%. Maybe that's why he was already taken out of this world - so that he can keep on making music in heaven minus all the complications that people concoct.

The Legend lives on...

final chase

2009-06-22T21:16:00.000-07:00

from ambiguous minds

if you turn around and look
will there still be something to see?
scent or shadows...
the traces of me..

i am stopping now.
no plans of staying..
no plans of chasing you back.

stoic

2009-06-09T21:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't been functioning well for the past few days. I just can't seem to find the drive to move. there's a certain level of restlessness again. a certain level of discontent with what I'm doing and where I am right now.

The ABCs of Learning

2009-06-01T22:11:00.001-07:00

http://www.metamath.com/multiple/multiple_choice_questions.html

The results of Donna Manlangit's learning inventory are:

Visual/Nonverbal 26 Visual/Verbal 30 Auditory 26 Kinesthetic 36

Your primary learning style is:

The Tactile/ Kinesthetic Learning Style

You learn best when physically engaged in a "hands on" activity. In the classroom, you benefit from a lab setting where you can manipulate materials to learn new information. You learn best when you can be physically active in the learning environment. You benefit from instructors who encourage in-class demonstrations, "hands on" student learning experiences, and field work outside the classroom.

Strategies for the Tactile/ Kinesthetic Learner:

To help you stay focused on class lecture, sit near the front of the room and take notes throughout the class period. Don't worry about correct spelling or writing in complete sentences. Jot down key words and draw pictures or make charts to help you remember the information you are hearing.

When studying, walk back and forth with textbook, notes, or flashcards in hand and read the information out loud.

Think of ways to make your learning tangible, i.e. something you can put your hands on. For example, make a model that illustrates a key concept. Spend extra time in a lab setting to learn an important procedure. Spend time in the field (e.g. a museum, historical site, or job site) to gain first-hand experience of your subject matter.

To learn a sequence of steps, make 3'x 5' flashcards for each step. Arrange the cards on a table top to represent the correct sequence. Put words, symbols, or pictures on your flashcards -- anything that helps you remember the information. Use highlighter pens in contrasting colors to emphasize important points. Limit the amount of information per card to aid recall. Practice putting the cards in order until the sequence becomes automatic.

When reviewing new information, copy key points onto a chalkboard, easel board, or other large writing surface.

Make use of the computer to reinforce learning through the sense of touch. Using word processing software, copy essential information from your notes and textbook. Use graphics, tables, and spreadsheets to further organize material that must be learned.

Listen to audio tapes on a Walkman tape player while exercising. Make your own tapes containing important course information.

Taften Dream Destinations

2009-05-29T11:03:00.000-07:00

Libre naman mangarap, di ba? Well, I have this habit of picturing myself in one place and I keep that picture in mind so that one day I'll be able to visit that place. So, here's my Taften Dream Destinations in the Philippines. Siyempre, dapat hindi tayo maging dayuhan sa sarili nating bansa kaya Hello Philippines muna ako bago mag Hello World!

1. Batanes

2. El Nido, Palawan

3. Pink Island, Zamboanga City

4. Mt. Pulag, Benguet

5. Plantation Bay, Cebu

6. Enchanted River, Hinatuan, Surigao del Sur

7. Camotes Island, Cebu

8. Apo Reef, Occidental Mindoro

9. Mt. Apo, Davao

10. Caramoan, Camarines Sur

Someday, somehow, I'll be able to visit these places and still be alive to tell the tale. (",)

Tara, biyahe tayo!

The Billboard Model Wannabe

2009-05-14T00:32:00.000-07:00

Get ready for narcissism at its finest!

Cheers to the face which sank a thousand ships!!! (",)

Donna's Hyper-market

Inter-section

Four-Leaf Cover

Pinay in New York

Stuffed Meating

And the last, but definitely not the least...

The Impossible Dream

You can also give in to your narcissistic tendencies. Go to http://www.photofunia.com/ and make your own billboards. Have fun! :)

You Love, You Learn

2009-05-13T23:24:00.000-07:00

After A While
by Veronica A. Shoffstall

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

Learning the Art of Forgetting

2009-05-13T23:09:00.001-07:00

"No effort of the will can shut out memory; there is no art of forgetting."

-180 SCRA 235

L[aw]st Story

2009-05-13T22:41:00.000-07:00

Folks, its judgment time!

Now, we are way past our subjective phase, when we can still do something to change our grades for this sem - all the acts of execution were accomplished.

For now, I'd just like to enjoy what's left of the summer, reflect on the academic year that was, and hope against hope that I would move on to the next level of craziness in l[aw]st school.

Here's an example of what lost school can do to a person who decided to learn law in the grand manner. (",)

L[aw]st Story
Lyrics by: Faithfaithfaith
Sing to the tune of Love Story by Taylor Swift

Love Story - Taylor Swift Music Code

I was a little young when I first saw you
I close my eyes
And the flashback starts
I'm standing there
Being grilled for my first recit

See the fright
See the terror in my eyes
I hear you ask some weird things, I don't understand
And say "Oh girl, you will die in law school"

That you were Rowie M., you were throwing fireballs
And my friends say omg she's teaching oblicon
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don't fail me, and I said

Rowie M. don't fail me or I'll murder you when you're alone
I'll be waiting in the dark and you can't run
You'll be the prey and I'll be the hunter
It's a law story, Rowie just say tres

So I sneak up right behind,hack you with this bolo
You keep quiet 'cause you'll be dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Think about what you'll give me

'Cause you were Rowie M., I was an aggrieved student
And my friends say spare her she's Angel's lawyer
But you weren't listening to me
I was begging you please don't fail me and I said

Rowie I'll take you somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, you can't hide and you can't run
You'll be the witch and I'll be the angry mob
It's a law story Rowie just say tres

Rowie just save me, and I'll spare you from everything
This course is difficult, but its pre-req
Don't be afraid, just help me out of this mess
It's a law story Rowie just say tres
Oh oh

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you is fading
When I met you on the outskirts of Malcolm, and I said

Rowie save me I can't take this course again
I keep waiting but you never ever decide
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think
She knelt to the ground and pulled out a classcard

And said, "You passed faithfaithfaith
You'll never have to kill me
I know you, you'll make a mighty fine lawyer
I talked to the dean, and he'll make you OPF now
It's a law story baby I just said tres

Oh, oh, oh, oh

And here's a Piano-Cello version of this song which was arranged by Jon Schmidt for his little daughter.

When Love Story meets Viva Vida Loca

reflex[ology]

2009-05-13T19:15:00.000-07:00

How many things do we do out of reflex?
According to my favorite encyclopedia, Wikipedia, reflex is an involuntary and nearly instantaneous movement in response to a stimulus.

One funny experience reminded me of this question this morning. I was singing my current favorite song (Seasons of Love, if you must know) when I walked out of the house. As I was riding the tryk, I tried to remember if I locked the front door or not. I couldn't, for the life of me, recall if I did lock the door. Then I thought of all the possible grim scenarios, in case I left the door open. The would-be burglars could not be charged with Art. 299, Robbery with force upon things, since they do not have to break any door or window - they just have to walk through the door which I left open. They can only be charged with Theft and Trespass to Dwelling. Wait, I digress. (got a bad case of Crim 2 hangover)

Anyway, to ease all my doubts, I asked the driver to go back so that I can check the door. Guess what, its locked! :) I apparently closed the door out of reflex since I go out of that door every morning. It has already become part of my system and has become a reflex action.

Now, back to the question. Or maybe, a more relevant question would be: How many of these reflex actions are so important that we should also savor it, put some value into it, and not merely do it out of reflex? Another interesting question would be: What actions should we do habitually so that eventually we can do it out of reflex?

Just keep thinking... just keep thinking...

180 degree turn around

2009-05-12T23:29:00.000-07:00

via wears heart on sleeve

and for once in your life, you need to walk away and suffer the loneliness.. because you believe that one day in the far and distant future, you’ll be happy. and not so cracked and broken anymore. and you won’t cry anymore. and when you smile, it won’t be a façade- it will be real. and that empty heart-shaped black hole in your chest will slowly fade back to a healthy pink color. and you’ll know that all the pain, all the sadness, everything you feel when you’re crying yourself to sleep.. it’s gone. and you’re stronger for it.

but until then, it’s going to hurt.. and you’re going to cry. and it’s going to continue to be the worst times of your life. and you’re going to wonder how long it’s going to take. and you will fake that smile until your face hurts. and you will drink until you forget. and then you will remember in the morning. and every day, it will hit you like a ton of bricks. and every night, you will wonder where he is, and what he is doing, and if he’s thinking about you too. and you will cry, you will cry, you will cry until you think you’re out of tears. but they will continue to fall...

Prayer of Uncertainty

2009-05-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and will never leave me to face my perils alone.”

-Thomas Merton

Taften Signs that you are Lost in Law School

2009-05-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

I got this list from Kaleidoscope Eyes and added some tell-tale signs. You might want to add too.

1. You consider dropping out of law school approximately every hour, but after that first semester you realized you were already in too much debt to be anything other than a lawyer.

2. The drama in your life now rivals that of high school.

3. You are truly and deeply unnerved by the thought of some of your classmates becoming attorneys

4. You wonder if that one professor who always seems angry and irritable and treats students’ minds as his personal playground is actually a sociopath or just didn’t get enough hugs as a child.

5. Sometimes during disagreements you are tempted to argue with complete legal basis the offending friend or family member without him understanding what you said.

6. You can’t remember if you decided to come to law school because you wanted to help people and make a difference in the world or because you hate yourself.

7. You think whoever first introduced the Socratic method into the law school curriculum should have his face lit on fire and then beaten out with a rake.

8. When someone is expressing their frustration or anger about something that is in any way related to the law, you can’t be sympathetic because you’re too busy figuring out in your head if they have a cause of action.

9. You hear about the death of an elderly friend or relative and wonder if they died intestate.

10. You have considered changing career paths to hot dog vendor, stilt walker, or career alcoholic.

Instead of saying, Thank God its Friday, you exclaim, Oh no, Its Friday. (meaning, you'll have to read up on the assigned readings for your whole day class on Saturday.)

You get into the habit of standing up when your professor walks in.

When you become more prayerful than before because you are not ready for recits.

You already forgot the meaning of sembreak and summer break because all your exams are super extended.

You gain several (okay, many pounds) because all you want to do after a traumatic exam is - EAT!

zip, zip and away!

2009-05-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post before I leave for Batangas... again! :)

I uberly enjoyed my first zipping session, thanks to my patient teacher, Lala, who happens to be my classmate from MA Psych. Its a small world after all. Anyway, zipping is not as easy as it looks. It needs eye-hand coordination movement and a certain level of concentration. Today, I just learned the basics. Forgot the terms though, but I do have to practice on a few routines. And I also bought my very first pair of poi. Yey! I'll elaborate on this later when I get back.

For now, I'm off to another spur of the moment adventure with good ole friends. :)

laboring on labor day

2009-05-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

Yep! While everybody's out of town and enjoying their long weekend i, I had to report to the office and be the taumbahay. Well, I didn't mind it one bit. I thought I'd have more time to study and catch up on my readings. BUT, there were more exciting things in store for me.

First, I remembered that I wanted to look up on available classes about zipping. We were discussing about it in the office and I really want to try that sport. Then I chanced upon this multiply site Planet Zips and checked out their classes. Apparently, they are offering summer classes in QC so I was just in time for the second session. Another pleasant surprise, the instructor's name sounded familiar. So, I texted her and inquired if she's the same Lala from my MA Psych class. What a coincidence! She has always inspired me to try zipping especially when I see her zipping in the company video promoting the Ayala Malls. So, tomorrow, I'll be learning a new sport/hobby - zipping. Wish I could also try fire zipping in the future.

Second, I went out for lunch with a textmate, a cousin of a friend. haha! I don't think that was a date, t'was just a meet-up. At least, I got free lunch. :) It was a weird experience. I don't really like going out on dates because I'm uncomfortable of putting myself out there. And besides, I haven't "fully recovered" yet. As expected, it was a disaster. Sorry for saying this, but I didn't like his company one bit. He was looking for a wife, not a date. Afraid! Oh, I do hope I won't see him again. Harsh! :)

Third, I played badminton with my badminton buddies whom I haven't seen in a while. I missed playing that sport and I missed my playmates. ;p

Lastly, a friend invited me to check out a franchising business. At first I was apprehensive because I still haven't recovered from my burgerrific experience. I learned several lessons from that failed experiment but I consider it as my crash course in MBA. This new business has a big potential. But I think I'll take my time to study it first so that I wouldn't make the same mistakes all over again.

All in all, t'was truly a great day. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to open my books. Owel, there's always tomorrow. Procrastination at its finest! hehe

answered prayer

2009-04-28T00:24:00.000-07:00

God truly has His ways of answering our prayers with His own perfect timing. After almost five years of being an "aliping sagigilid", my efforts are finally rewarded. I got promoted to another step in the civil service ladder. Yey! (music on: celebrate good times, come on!) Now, I don't have to sing Alanis' Hand in My Pocket and belting out the line, "I'm young and I'm underpaid!" for emphasis. This is a very welcome blessing because I've been praying for this in a long time and it came at a time when I least expect it. :)

superhuman [not]

2009-04-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

The bittersweet feeling of first love and the lessons that came with it.

I realized that I'm not invincible after all, I'm still human and very much capable of loving. :) I thought I've become so indifferent to these feelings till it came to a point when I really thought I can ever have any romantic feelings for another person. Well, this experience proves otherwise. I can be happy, giddy and stupid for love. I can throw caution to the wind and live for the moment. But thankfully, I still have a good head on my shoulders and I was still able to think clearly. Although there were moments of indecision but thank God, the pragmatist in me prevailed.

Love has the effect of sometimes clouding my judgment and perception. I realize now that I must have fallen for an ideal image of him which I kept in my head and heart for the longest time, just waiting for an affirmation. And when he made just a tiny little gesture of affection, that image was affirmed. I realize now that I must not let this heady feeling cloud my judgment. I have to see things for what they are, and not for what I imagined them to be.

There are two sides to loving - being happy with the one you love and being hurt by that same person. One doesn't exist without the other. When you love, you open yourself to hurts and disappointments. That's the risk that you have to take. I took that risk and I came out of it alive. Yes, it was painful but I understood the situation. It was well worth the risk.

Never let go of your ideals. This is what kept me grounded and made me realize a few things. Be true to yourself and your feelings. Recognize the feelings, acknowledge them and feel them. Then, if its time to let go, move on. Know that you have a better life ahead of you.

A text message from a good friend sums it all:
The best part of being in love is when you just love a person and be happy about it, even if that person can never be yours, even if you know that it can't last forever. Its not about winning someone. Its not about owning a relationship. Its just about being happy because you just loved and loved unselfishly. :)

now, its time to move on...

Dive and Trek Adventure

2009-04-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

I thought summer would just come and go without me having my day under the sun. But last Sunday, I went on a spur-of-the moment adventure and went snorkelling with newfound friends in Batangas. How did that happen? There's actually a short story behind it. A few weeks ago, my friend Joms invited me to an intro dive getaway with her SFC Meco chapter. Unfortunately, I opted not to go because it was the weekend before my final exam in Crim 2. I knew I'd be cramming by that time. However, I was reminded about the invite last Saturday when my housemate informed me that she's joining the group. I felt left out and since I was already feeling nauseated with all the crimes that I've been studying, I decided right then and there to join them. Alas, there was no more slot in the van for me. That's what I got for dilly-dallying on my decision. But that evening, Kring, another friend from YFC, invited me to have dinner with some good friends to celebrate her graduation. Since Joms was also invited, I asked her about their plans for Sunday and expressed my disappointment that I wouldn't be able to join them. By sheer coincidence, Kring and her friends are also going to the same island on that same day. So, I decided to tag along. :) And that's how I managed to break out of my routine and spent my Sunday in Batangas.

It was very liberating. I never realized how much I missed the outdoors until we were
travelling through SLEX. I really, really, love to travel but ever since I entered lost school, I didn't get to travel as often as I wanted to - for obvious reasons. So, I relished the thought that I wouldn't have to stay in my room the whole day trying to distinguish one crime from the other. I'm actually going on a diving adventure and road tripping with people I barely know. We left early, missed a few turns,got lost a few times but managed to get to our destination. What I love about this kind of adventure is that I didn't know what to expect. There's a certain level of thrill to that kind of uncertainty.

We went to Dive and Trek, a marine sanctuary in Batangas. Since Kring "knew" some people in the island, they allowed us to use their facilities for free. I actually wanted to try the intro dive but I didn't persist because there were a lot of people in the other group. Maybe I'll just try it next time. Well, we snorkelled the whole morning and I just loved the underwater scene. Another fascination in the island is a dog named Bogart. He's a brilliant retriever and I was amazed by his sheer size and his capacity to retrieve the water bottle, even diving under water.

We left the island around 2pm. But spontaneous plans are about to unfold. We had dinner at a Bulaluhan in Tagaytay with a splendid view of the Taal Lake. For dessert, we proceeded to Bag of Beans, which is a quaint coffee shop by the roadside. I love the ambience and the desserts were uberly yummy.

All in all, I had so much fun. Well, it was also an effective way of forgetting ;) I'm definitely going back next weekend.

Tribute to the Nice Girls

2009-04-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Got this from Thoughts on a Sunday and now I'm reposting it here.
By Jessica Leigh Griffith

This is my tribute to the nice girls. To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don’t give it up on the first date, who don’t want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they’ve heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren’t perfect and that the guys they’re interested in aren’t either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe… maybe this time he’ll have understood. This is an homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don’t deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and fuck up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from “there are plenty of fish in the sea,” to “time heals all wounds.” This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it’s an experience that they don’t want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they’d rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn’t care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they’re too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one’s for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won’t because it’s easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he’s just not ready, he’s just not over her, he’s just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it’s easier to believe that it’s not that they don’t want you, it’s that they don’t want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you’ve returned home alone, for the nights when you’ve seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he’s with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn’t that he didn’t want a relationship: it was that he didn’t want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he’d realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the “I really like you, so let’s still be friends” comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you’ve received from your female friends, for the nights they’ve reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you all felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you’d have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we’ve believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we’d have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don’t think that they deserve more, because they’ve been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don’t understand. Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don’t appreciate them and don’t want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging. Yet, men, I ask you: were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, were you to give her your number and wait for her to call… and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the “stalker chick” you’d met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this “nice girl” who you just cannot seem to find? Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you’re not looking for a nice girl. You’re not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intramural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you’re looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don’t say you’re on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won’t answer your catcalls, sometimes you’re looking at a nice girl in whore’s clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we’re all thinking the same thing: “This isn’t me. Tomorrow morning, I’ll be wearing a t-shirt and flannel shorts, I’ll have slept alone and I’ll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me.” You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don’t want the nice girl.. so don’t say you’re looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we’re willing to extend - - but in return, we’re looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express. Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they’re running they’re chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets… the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congratulatory hug (and yes, if she’s a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won’t matter), hoping against hope that maybe you’ll realize that they’re the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won’t last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we’re waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what’s a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)

Thought for the Day

2009-04-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

Go for someone who's not only proud and glad to have you,

but will also take every risk and effort just to be with you.

recuperating

2009-04-10T04:52:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry for the uber-delayed post. I just got home from the hospital yesterday. As much as I wanted to blog about my confinement experience while cooped up in my hospital bed, I couldn't summon enough strength to type a few words. I swear, those painkillers and antibiotics are draining the life out of me. But now, I know better. Its just a certain painkiller which causes the knockouts and I'm not taking any tablet if I can tolerate the pain.

Now, for a blow by blow account.

Last week, I consulted the doc about some skin problem that has been bothering me for the past few months and she recommended a minor surgery. Actually, it was my friend Star, who diagnosed the ailment and suggested the remedy which I abhorred. Since this ailment has become bothersome, I arranged to have the surgery last Tuesday so that I'll have enough time to recuperate. I had to say goodbye to my snorkelling plans somewhere in Batangas.

Tuesday morning came and I dragged myself to St. Luke's. Nobody was able to accompany me but all the nurses were asking if I had somebody with me. I'd like to say that I'm an independent woman and I don't need anybody. But this retort is uncalled for so I just assured me that my siblings and some officemates would be with me later in the afternoon.

It was my first time to be admitted in a hospital and it was kinda spooky. They hooked me up to an IV at around 2pm. I was just lying in that hospital bed like a pig waiting to be slaughtered. Then, I was rolled into the OR around 6:30, they injected me with the anesthesia and then there was darkness. I woke up around 10pm then they rolled me into my room.

After the operation, I felt like a bulldozer just ran through me and I was too groggy from the anesthesia and the medicines. I wouldn't want to go through that experience again. I was supposed to move out by Wednesday but they told me to wait for my doctor. She came by around 7pm and spent less than a minute with me. So much for doctor's courtesy. At least she gave me a clean bill of health, so by Thursday morning I was out of the hospital. I didn't want to stay there for another minute because the hospital atmosphere was draining the life out of me.

Even if the experience was not very pleasant, it gave me time to think and be thankful for the blessings that God gave me. It made me realize that I'm blessed with caring and thoughtful siblings who were willing to stick by me during my weakest moments when I can barely fend for myself. They didn't go all yucky on me when I was groping for a plastic bag so that I can vomit. They didn't mind sleeping in the sofa just to keep watch over me. I really felt loved and cared for, especially with the constant texts and calls from my parents who were deeply concerned. Nothing can really surpass the unconditional love of a family.

One thing's for sure, I'm never ever admitting myself again in a hospital for a very loooooonnnnnnnngggggg time.., :)

Taonglangit in Tinuy-an Falls

2009-04-06T03:22:00.000-07:00

Are you wondering why this Little Niagara Falls made it to the top of my list?

Siyempre, this is the pride of Bislig City, my very own hometown. Personal bias aside, I do think this is the most majestic falls I've ever seen and its definitely worth visiting.

For those of you who did not know that Bislig even existed, it is located at the southeastern coast of Mindanao facing the Pacific Ocean, Bislig is 158 kms south of Butuan, 152 kms south of Tandag City, and 208 kilometers northeast of Davao City.

Tinuy-an Falls is a spectacular multi-tiered falls, three levels of which can easily be seen while a fourth one is hidden from view. It rises majestically to a height of a four-story building and a breathtaking width of 95 meters - said to be the widest in the country. It is nestled in a tropical rainforest with towering, century-old trees and exotic flora and fauna surrounding it. Why do i know all these? Because my brother is doing his landscape architecture thesis on Tinuy-an Falls and the WHOLE family is involved. :)Now, let me show you the various facets of this Little Niagara.

Visitors can also lounge around this makeshift bridge and admire the beauty of Tinuy-an.

Folklore
Tinuyo-an or Tinuy-an is a native vernacular which means an intentional act or performance to attain an objective or goal. Legend revealed that long before, the Magdiwata Mountain settlers were enslaved by cruel tribesmen coming from hinterlands of Agusan. They were forced to hunt with their masters, construct barotos (small boats) and perform forced manual labor. Tired of being slaves, one day while rowing the barotos boarded by their cruel masters, they intentionally shoved the barotos towards the waterfalls killing all their cruel masters.
What a tragic story but maybe there's some truth to it. One can be easily engulfed by the downward pressure from the falls.
I think Tinuy-an or Tinuyoan is an appropriate name. Since its a secluded area, one has to exert herculean efforts (okay, that's an exaggeration) just to get to this place. One has to really intend it (tinuyoan). But once you get there, its all worth it. You can just gaze in awe and thank God for this beautiful creation.

ayan ka na naman...

2009-04-06T03:07:00.000-07:00

Kala ko ba goodbye na
Bakit ngayon bumabalik ka?
Kala ko ba its better this way
Bakit ngayon nagpaparamdam ka uli?
Kala ko ba we just have to keep things simple
Bakit ngayon nalilito na naman ako?

Haay...

Why do things have to be so complicated?

Di Na Natuto
Gary Valenciano

nand'yan ka na naman
tinutukso-tukso ang aking puso
ilang ulit na bang
iniiwasan ka di na natuto

sulyap ng 'yong mata
laging nadarama kahit malayo, ooh
nahihirapan na
lalapit-lapit pa di na natuto

isang ngiti mo lang
at ako'y napapaamo
yakapin mong minsan
ay muling magbabalik sa'yo

na walang kalaban-laban
ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang
ooh...

o eto na naman
laging nananabik ang aking puso,
ooh...
muling bumabalik
sa 'yong mga halik
di na natuto

refrain:

isang ngiti mo lang
at ako'y napapaamo (woh...)
yakapin mong minsan
ay muling magbabalik sa'yo

na walang kalaban-laban
ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang

refrain:

isang ngiti mo lang
at ako'y napapaamo (woh...)
yakapin mong minsan
ay muling magbabalik sa'yo

na walang kalaban-laban
ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang
ang puso ko'y tanging iyo lamang

Di Na Natuto - Gary Valenciano

so blessed!

2009-04-02T02:27:00.000-07:00

Today, I learned another lesson in generosity.

Do not be afraid to give, even if you think you don't have enough, even if it hurts. When you give, He will return it to you a thousand-fold. You just have to learn how to part with your material things, so that He can fill your life with more blessings.

April Fools

2009-04-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

I have to undergo an operation next Tuesday. :(

You think I'm kidding? I hope I am, but I'm not. This is something that I've been putting off for the longest time and next week is the perfect opportunity for me to haul myself to the hospital. As much as I want to make myself believe that its just a minor operation, I can't help feeling afraid.

Please Lord, give me strength :)

Kaya Natin!

2009-03-30T19:39:00.000-07:00

This morning, I had an interesting ym conversation with Fr. F. He used to be a UP chaplain but he is now based in the States. I'd like to refer to him as the modern Rizal due to his radical ideas. He never fails to inspire me.

me: what's your take on Fr. Panlilio's plan to run for president?
fr. F: ideally, it's not such a bad thing. realistically, i'm not so sure.
me: why not?
fr. F: he needs to leave the priesthood first.
fr. F: then i believe he can, and perhaps should run.
me: so you think he can institute some much needed reforms in this country?
fr. F: i think seen from any angle, it's just the right thing to do.
philippine politics is a very odd beast.
reforms? i really don't know donna.
me: but at least, he's the lesser evil... not necessarily the better alternative
fr. F: isn't that sad. why do we have to constantly settle for the lesser evil? where are all those young people who were with you at UP? or those who were once young at UP, Ateneo, LaSalle, UST, etc.? Whatever happened to the "pagasa ng bayan" I wonder.
i think we know the answer.
they've become the very persons they once despised.
sad.
but you're right. why not panlilio?
maybe he's not the savior the country's been waiting for.
but maybe he can get the ball rolling.
maybe we'll get there one day, not too long after him.
me: i hope so.
pero ang hirap nga talaga father.
fr. F: don't be discouraged. no system is perfect.
me: being in the system for almost 5 years now, i still keep on asking myself why I'm here. what's the purpose?
fr. F: even here in the u.s., the supposed home of democracy,
things are not as easy as we sometimes think.
me: have i changed something? or has the system changed me already?
fr. F: we do what we can.
fr. F: good question. as long as you're still asking it, you're still ok.
fr. F: once you stop asking that question, i think you need to get out of the system.
me: okay. i'll keep that in mind.
fr. F: i know that one day, titino rin ang bayan natin.
it's not an empty hope.
i believe it very strongly.
me: sana nga.
fr. F: if you try reading rizal very carefully, you'll see that even at the end of the Fili, there's a faith in the indestructibility of hope.
the night won't last forever.
me: sometimes, its so hard to keep the faith. especially if the situation seems so hopeless
fr. F: that's why its important to find like-minded people.
who share our hopes.
and who strengthen our faith.
i do believe with all my heart that there are more good filipinos
that there are far more honest and decent filipinos than those who aren't.
me: yeah. i do too. the silent majority who's just watching and waiting.
fr. F: they're out there. what we need is not really a savior, but a lightning rod.
someone or something that will finally connect all these anonymous good and decent pinoys.
to connect and network them with each other.
how that's going to happen, i'm not so sure. gk is a start.
me: yeah, well.. i do hope that lightning rod would strike soon before the situation gets any worse.
fr. F: i meant lightning rod in terms of something that will collect and connect all that power that's just sitting out there and channel it.
pinoys don't need a savior, they need an inspiration.
obama won because he managed to tap into some deep seated psychological need of people here, especially young people.
if panlilio can serve as an inspiration, he would be good.
filipinos need to be inspired. not saved.
they can do that themselves.
but someone has to inspire them.
and be willing to do it without getting anything in return.
me: then, i do hope he can be that inspiration.
its already starting
anonymous people are donating for his campaign
fr. F: that's good news.
if the level f interest can be sustained, i think it can be done.
that's how obama won you know.
ordinary grassroots work of ordinary people like you.
students mostly.
two years ago nobody even took this guy seriously.
and now he's president
me: musta naman po ang peformance niya so far?
fr. F: he's doing very well
very sincere person.
and brilliant.
for once, the u.s. actually has an intellectual for president.
but fr. ed has to leave the priesthood.
that's the only way it will work.
that's a sacrifice he has to make.
me: but looks like he's not willing to give it up:(
fr. F: now that's going to be a problem.
even i won't vote for him.
no one can serve two masters at the same time.
plain and simple truth.
he will have more credibilty if he leaves the priesthood
and consider it the supreme sacrifice of his life for the sake of the country. if that is in fact is his motive for running.
he will lose credibility with the catholic intelligentsia.
thoughtful catholics will have doubts about him.
i believe they would rather that he sacrifice his priesthood and be sincere in his desire to serve in public office.
they'll probably vote for him still.
fr. F: but the doubts will linger, and that's never good.
me: haay, difficult decisions. and his opponents are not taking this sitting down. they've been hurling black propaganda against him as early as now
fr. F: that's to be expected.
filipinos play dirty.
that's the immaturity of our culture.
-End-

Papa's Girl

2009-03-30T09:43:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, my Papa celebrated his 51st birthday. I thought he was only 45 and he didn't bother to correct me. Well, he kept asserting he was just 28 which would mean he was 3 years old when he got married. Fat chance! :)

And since we weren't there to celebrate his birthday with him, I came up with this blog tribute for the most special man in my life, my papa - Pastor Manlangit.

What's in a name?
There were several times when I'd get curious questions from strangers.
Iha, anong religion niyo?
Sagot naman ako, Catholic po. Bakit po?
Eh bakit pastor ang tatay mo?
(lolz)
Eh kasi po, pinanganak siya nung March 29 at ayon sa Almanaqui (bisaya word for the Book of Names), Pastor daw dapat ang ipangalan sa kanya. OA naman po kung pastor pa siya. Eh di, Pastor Pastor Manlangit na ang name niya. Baka umabot na siya sa 7th Heaven.
(you can laugh now :))

Early years
Papa is the eldest of 6 siblings. They were born and raised in a small town in Bohol. When we were younger, he loved to regale us with stories of his youth and we would listen in awe like he was narrating the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. There were stories about how he would sell kangkong in the wee hours of the morning in order to have some baon and walk for miles just to be able to go to school. There was also a time when he was beaten by my lolo because he targeted my lola with a pintik (slingshot). When we visited his hometown, he showed us the river where they used to swim, the house where they used to live, even the place where he used to hide just so his father wouldn't be able to find him and beat him. (Apparently, corporal punishment was the norm back then.)

Who's your daddy?
I have very fond memories of my dad. I do consider myself as my Papa's girl because I'm the eldest and I was the only daughter for 4 years before my younger siblings were born one after the other.(read: ala do-re-mi) Kumbaga, nagexperiment muna sila for 4 years at nung na-assess nila na okay pala ang may baby, ayun dinagdagan na nila.

Since he was always assigned in some other remote region, he was not always around when I was growing up. I think he only went home once a month but that's good enough for me. I look forward to his coming home because that would mean many things - pasalubong! his favorite dishes! new bedsheet! (hehe)I even think I was spoiled back then because I always get what I wanted - walkman, roller skates, bike, even a Nancy Drew pocketbook.

But there's one painful experience in Grade 4 which I could not forget. We had a serious talk about my grades because I did not make it to the top ten (petty issue, right?). You see, I was not really an achiever. I was contented with just getting by and I didn't feel the need to excel. Before the confrontation, I already knew that I would get the flak. So I did the only thing which I thought would get me off the hook - I cried. Correction: I bawled to the best of my ability. But to no avail. He seemed set on what he's about to do. He made me sign a contract. Yep, a written contract governed by Art. 1305 of the Civil Code, which is a meeting of the minds between two persons whereby one binds himself, with respect to the other, to give something or to render some service. If I remember correctly, the contract went like this...

I, Donna Patricia Manlangit, promise my father that I will make it to the top ten or else I would be transferred to Requina Elementary School (which is a public school across our house).

Signed by me and my papa.

Now, how traumatic can that be for a 10 year old child? What would my friends say? I was more concerned with my "honor". Fueled by this fear, I always made sure that I made it to the top ten (in class lang ha, di ko kaya yung batch level). So I guess his method was effective. I think he also did it to my younger siblings. Wala din silang kawala. Fair enough :)

You think that's the end of the story? Not yet. Last year, as I was talking to my lolo, he mentioned that he also did that contract signing ritual to my papa. Huli ka! Wala palang originality ang papa ko. He also got the same treatment from his father. It has become a family tradition. Hmm, maybe I'll also do it to my future children complete with notary seal and all. hehehe.

What to say?
Pa, thank you so much for everything you've done for our family.
For all your sacrifices
For all the lessons
For all the adventures
For all the stories
I will treasure these memories forever.
You may not be perfect but you are the best Papa in the world.
I love you pa.

Being Spidey

2009-03-28T21:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I tried something new - wall climbing! Well, its not actually my first time to scale a wall, but it was my first time to go to the PowerUp gym and scale different walls for almost 2 hours. It gets pretty draining after a while but I enjoyed myself immensely.

I also learned how to belay. Yey! According to Wikipedia, belaying is the technique of controlling the rope so that a falling climber does not fall very far. As the climber moves on the climb, the belayer must remove the slack from the rope by paying out or pulling in excess rope. If the climber falls, then they will free-fall the distance of the slack or unprotected rope before friction applied by the belayer will start to slow their descent. It is extremely important for the belayer to concentrate on the climber's situation, as their role is crucial for the climber's safety. (emphasis mine)

When Kuya Chonny showed us the proper way to belay, it looked smooth and easy but no, when it was my turn, it wasn't easy after all. Let me qualify that statement. Belaying itself is not that complicated but the thought that somebody's life is at stake if ever I make a mistake... then that's when things get complicated. :) I can imagine the fear that my friend D felt when she was belaying for her son. Anyway, I got used to it after a while and we even received our belay certificates. hehe

With regards to the climbing experience, it gave me a different kind of high, a sudden rush of adrenaline. The fear of falling and the determination to get it to the top added to the excitement. It made me feel like Spiderman trying to look for stable handholds and footholds just to make it to the top. For starters, we scaled the Kiddie wall. Then moved on to the Molly wall. Then, we attempted the Poise wall which was true to its name. According to my friend, "Kaya Poise and tawag sa wall na yun kasi nakakawala ng poise." hehe. The pictures were totally unglamorous but what the heck, I strained myself to get to the middle part. After that, I can't hold on any longer. I had to let go. Thanks to my friend who was belaying, I was able to land in one piece. Haay, that was pretty frustrating. This just goes to show that I have to build up on my upper body strength and lose a little weight so that I can pull myself up. Well, I can't learn it all in a day. I still have the whole summer to practice and try again. :)

Someday, I'll conquer that Poise wall and any other wall for that matter.

P.S.
Thanks to Dana B. for the action shots. :)